Nothing Else Matters
by Cena-holic8
Summary: Sequel to Let Me Be Your Hero. Nicole left John because she thought it would be the best for both of them. But was it really the right thing for her to do? Extended Summary inside.
1. Picking Up the Pieces

**Here we go with the second installment of Let Me Be Your Hero. I hope you all like this one as much as the first one. But I have changed things up a bit. Now this whole story is mostly in Nicole's point of view. I thought of doing this so you can get more of insight on her thoughts. So I hope you all like it…**

**I DISCLAIM ALL SUPERSTARS THAT ARE IN THIS STORY! But you know I would love to own John Cena just for a day**

**And thanks to the people who have given me suggestions for the title of this story. but I have decided to go with this one. But it was reall appreciated. I got the title from a song that Metallica sings so I don't own the title.**

**Extended Summary- Nicole left John because she felt that it would be the best for both of them if she did. So now its 2 years later and each of them have their own separate life. Nicole has a boyfriend and thinks he's it while John has a new girlfriend. So what will happen when these two meet up again? Will John ever be able to forgive Nicole? But you know how that saying goes; your one true love never dies.**

Chapter 1_: Picking Up the Pieces_

You all know how that saying, "Time heals all wounds" or something along those lines? Well I think whoever thought of that saying was spitting out bullshit. How could time heal something? I mean doesn't it make it worse? Well it does to me anyway.

It's been two years exactly today that I left. And as you can tell by that little babbling up there, time away didn't heal a damn thing. We still don't talk at all and it's really starting to get to me. Two years is a long time to get over stuff but I could never seem to get over this. And you know that not a day goes by that I don't think about him. I shouldn't have done it. I know that now. And for the longest time I did kick myself for the decision I made.

But you know what, I can't take it back. And for now, I have to live with the decision I made. I still think that it made John a better person. Let me explain if you will . . .

John is doing absolutely fine, well from what I hear. He went on to star in that movie and it turned out to be a huge success. I did see it and I think he kicked ass in it. But anyway it looked like he took my advice. He's proving to everyone, that has ever doubted him, wrong. And I applaud him for that. He's been making quite a name for himself. He's been on at least a couple dozen more magazine covers, a lot more interviews, and a lot more talk shows. There is seriously no stopping him. And yeah, I did ask my sister if he was dating anyone. Last I heard he started dating Maria about a month ago. Yeah, you heard it right, Maria Kanellis. I guess she finally got what she wanted. I'm happy for him . . . I guess.

So I bet you're wondering what I have been up too. Well after I came back home to my and Ashley's apartment, I packed my things and moved out to Los Angeles, California. I found a little apartment and lived there for quite awhile. I got a job as a model, and no not a playboy model. I could never do that; I'm a little to shy. I don't know how my sister did it. Anyway, I'm a runway model and I do some acting. Nothing too big, just enough so I could pay the bills. But I always had more than enough to live on. But my passion will always be for the WWE. I think later on I will go back.

And I bet you're wondering what's with Ashley and Matt. Well after everything that happened with John, Ashley was so furious with me. She was being such a bitch about it. Why couldn't she see that I had to then? Well anyway, Matt and my sister decided to wait to get married. So they had a long engagement but the wedding is now in a couple of weeks. And of course, Ashley made me the maid of honor. But Matt still hasn't picked his best man. I don't think John is going. I think Ashley said he had to be somewhere because he was going to do a TV show so he couldn't make it. That's fine by me; I'm not ready to see him just yet.

Then that leaves Randy. He has helped me through a lot in these last two years so I would say that we are a really close pair. Though I did tell him to keep that quiet around John. After I left John, Randy was the only one who listened to me. I needed that and he came through for me. Yeah, we did sleep together a few times after the first few months after I left. But it was nothing, I just felt lonely and I needed to be close to someone. That was when he and Samantha weren't official yet but they are now. And they have been happily dating for about 2 years now and I am so happy for him. We're still really close and I think I even get Samantha mad sometimes. Long story for another time.

So what haven't I covered . . . oh now I remember. I didn't mention if I have a boyfriend. Well after that thing with Randy, I didn't date anyone in over a year until I finally found someone worth it. And I bet you will never guess in a million years . . .

"Sweetie, I'm back!" Channing called out. Yeah that's right, Channing Tatum. So I bet you're wondering, how?

Well we met at one of my runway shows that I was in and he was hosting. We talked a little backstage and we hit it off. He asked me out right then but I turned him down flat. I wasn't ready to date anyone. But when he asked me again a couple of weeks later, I couldn't say no.

And we moved into together about six months in our relationship. We have been going out for almost a year now so that is where I am now.

I ran over to him and threw my arms around him, "Hey Babe! How was the tour?"

"Great! But I missed you so much." Channing smiled and gave me a kiss.

"I missed you too." I said happily. "But I just have to make a quick trip to go meet Ashley. We have to finish up the rest of her wedding plans."

"Right now? But I just got back!" Channing whined.

I smiled, "Yeah but it will only be for a couple of hours and I haven't seen my sister in over a month. I promise I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Yeah, yeah. When have I heard that one before?" Channing asked.

I rolled my eyes. Sometimes I wish that he could be a little bit more mature about this. "Just give me a couple of hours and I promise I will make it worth you while when I get back."

I gave him a slow, lingering kiss and he grinned hugely when I pulled away, "Ok, you convinced me. Go ahead."

I gave him another peck and left to go meet my sister. Ok real quick I'll tell you about Channing. I'm 27 years old and he's 28 so you would think that he would be more mature about things. Well I love Channing and think he's the one for me but I just wish he could just understand about things that I know he doesn't. Like when him and I get into fights, I would go over to Randy's because he could calm me down. But Channing thought, for the longest time, I was cheating on him with Randy. He just doesn't understand that sometimes I just need someone to tell me that they care about me.

Anyway sorry, back to the present, I saw Ashley and gave her a hug. "Hey Ash!"

"Hey Nikki! How have you been? I haven't seen you in over a month . . . I like your hair by the way." She just started shooting off which made me smile.

But she was referring to how I cut my hair and highlighted it. It is now at my shoulders and I now have side swept bangs. And my hair color is now three colors' my natural chocolate brown hair, highlighted with black and reddish brown.

"Thanks Ash" I smiled warmly. All in all, I love my big sister a lot. Even though all she does is remind me about how miserable John seems to be. "I've been good. How are you?"

Ashley took a sip of water, "I'm good. I'm so nervous about the wedding that is coming up but I think that's normal. I saw Matt was like pacing in his room so he's nervous too. I'm sure you know how Randy is so Candice is good. Her and Jeff are great as always . . . And John . . . well he was extra gloomy and mopey today."

He we go. She was going to try to lay a guilt trip on me. And honestly it works every time. John remembered after all this time? I figured he would have forgotten all about me by now.

I sighed, "Ash please, don't start."

Ashley shot me a look, "I have to Nikki. Why can't you just talk to him? You obviously still care about him and miss him."

"I know that, Ash. But why can't you and everyone else see that it's better this way?" I said with sadness dripping with my words, "Besides I have Channing now and he has Maria. So can we just drop this, Ash?"

Ashley stared me down. I seriously don't want to talk about it. I know my sister can see I'm on the verge of tears. I know I miss that man; I always will. He is . . . I mean was everything to me.

Ashley finally let up and said, "Yeah Nikki, I won't say another word about it."

"Thank you," Let me tell you she is so nosey sometimes.

She leaned across the table we were sat at and said, "Look, I know I have been a royal bitch to you but could I ask you a favor?"

My mood lightened a little, "Since you admit it then sure."

She stuck out her tongue at me, "Anyway, I was wondering since it's my wedding and all, would you mind singing a song?"

"What?" I said automatically. Is she crazy? She knows I don't sing in front of people, only in the shower.

"Please Nikki, it's only one song. And I would love for my sister to sing. You have such a beautiful voice." Ashley explained but when I still didn't look convinced, she suggested, "How about a duet?"

I thought about it and I guess a duet wouldn't be so bad. "Ok Ash, I'll do it. Who is the duet with anyway?"

Ashley smirked, "Oh just the best man. Whenever Matt can find one that is."

I looked at her suspiciously, ". . . ok. Well I better get back to Channing so I'll call you tomorrow?"

"Yeah that's fine. See ya, Nikki." Ashley hugged me before I left. On the whole way home, I just kept thinking about that duet. Holy shit, am I scared. But it is for my sister so I will do it.

**John's POV**

Wow, I still can't believe that it's been 2 years today. I shouldn't even care because it sure seems like she never has cared about us. But she is all I can think about today. Over these past 2 years, I tried to keep busy with other things and work but I just can't ever seem to get her out of my mind. I can't do it, even if I wanted to. I still love her, I know that, but she obviously doesn't care about that. She doesn't know but I did see all the movies she was in. I even went to a few runway shows of hers but she didn't see me. She looked so beautiful as always. I miss her a lot.

But I am with Maria now. She is a beautiful woman and we do have a lot of things in common. She's fun, energetic, and a great girl to be around. But only time will tell what happens to us. She's coming to the wedding because Matt asked if I would be the best man. I said I would be honored. I know Nicole is going to be there. She wouldn't miss it for the world. But now I found out that they want me to sing with another woman. What the fuck? I can't sing. Rap yeah, but actual singing. They must be crazy but I said I would do it.

I hear Maria come walking through the door, "Hey Johnny!"

"Hey Ria." I gave her a hug and a kiss on the lips, "How was the photo shoot?"

"Went good but it was kind of boring." Maria answered, "How was your day?"

I looked into her eyes, "Honestly, not so good at all. Care to make it better?"

She smiled, "Hell Yeah!"

Then she moved over to me and started planting kisses on my lips. Hopefully this way I'll be able to get Nicole out of my head . . . but I know I'm only dreaming.

**Next Chapter: The wedding is on and John and Nicole see each other for the first time in 2 years. Is it going to be a happy reunion or a disaster?**


	2. A Happy Reunion?

**Thanks to **_**MissPopularityofDrkness77**_**, **_**CenaFan1395**_**, **_**Randy4ever, **__**foolishangel87, **__**sailormama**_**, **_**CraftyTink529, **__**xAttitudex, **__**SexyPunk54,**_** and **_**Silbermond096**_** for the reviews. WOW! You all just broke a record for me. 9 reviews!! I'm excited, that's like the most I have gotten in like ever! Thank you so much!**

**Well I hope you all like this one as much as the first chapter! And I hope to get lots of reviews so enjoy.**

**And sorry for the later update but I went to a Seether concert Tuesday night and holy shit it was amazing and crazy. I would recommend seeing them in concert, they are so awesome.**

**Chapter 2****: **_A __Happy Reunion?_

**2 Weeks Later**

Wow, I have never seen my sister freak out so much. She's getting married in a hour and I can tell that she is so nervous. She is going for a traditional wedding so her dress is white while the bridesmaid's dresses are a deep purple. I wondered who the best man is because since it's traditional, which means I walk down the aisle with him and dance with him alongside the bride and groom. But it seems to me that Ashley doesn't even know for sure yet. It's probably either Jeff or Randy so I'm fine with that.

Anyway we're all getting ready to walk down the aisle. I'm all ready and right now my mom, Candice, Samantha, and I are getting Ashley all done up. Ashley looks so beautiful and I know Matt will absolutely love it. Well my mom wanted to have that talk with her older daughter but Ashley wanted me to wait up for her so she could talk to me real fast.

When my mom came out about 10 minutes later and giving me a kiss on the cheek, I went back in to see her. I found my sister, looking at herself in the mirror.

"I just can't believe this, you know?" Ashley started to say, "Pretty soon I'll be Mrs. Matt Hardy."

I smiled at her, "I can't believe it either. But he's a great guy for you, Ash. He really truly loves you."

"I know." She replied back to me. But then she turned to look at me. "I just have a feeling that this is going to be you someday."

I shook my head jokingly, "Nah, I'm destined to me single for life."

Ashley looked at me seriously. "No, this will be you. You just need to find someone worth settling down with and that you truly love. Just keep this in mind, Nikki, you're beautiful in every way and any man would be lucky to have you."

It was so cheesy but I wiped a tear from my eye, "Thanks Ash." Then I hugged her. I love my sister so much and I'm really happy for her. I know this is what she truly wanted.

Well after our little moment, we walked to the chapel doors and I looked around. I went and stood behind Candice and Samantha. I saw Matt was already down there and then I saw Jeff and Randy already lined up. So who in the hell was the best man? Well the wedding march began. Jeff and Candice went down first and I saw everyone was smiling. Then it was Randy and Samantha's turn but before they left Randy gave me a look that said I better be ready for a surprise. So after they went down I looked to see who I was walking down with and I gasped.

"JOHN?!" how could this be. I thought he couldn't make it today. At least that was what I was told. This looks like one of Ashley's plans.

He didn't look as stunned as I was. "Yeah." Oh my god did he look really good. He was all decked out in a tuxedo which looked so good on him. Down Nicole, calm the hormones. But Lord fucking kill me now.

I was about to say something else when I noticed that we had to go down the aisle. So John stuck out his left arms, I swear he can still read my mind, it's scary. But I loop my arm with his and we walked down together. Even through the material of his jacket, I feel electricity surging through the material. As we were walking, I saw all eyes on the two of us.

I know Channing was probably fuming right now. He doesn't know all of what went on in John and I's relationship, just bits and pieces. I really just left out the part about the whole baby thing, but I didn't think it was really any of his business. But this was just great. Oh shit, I think John saw I'm still wearing that locket. I never take it off but he doesn't need to know that.

We finally get to our places and then the bride starts to walk down the aisle. I have tears in my eyes and I think even Matt does. She gets there and smiles at her soon to be husband. Everyone sits down and the minister begins.

As the minister reads them their vows, I can't help but steal a look at John. My eyes connect with his and our eyes read the same thing, 'This could have been us.' But I also see sadness and anger at the same time and guilt fills my body. I look away quickly and turn my attention back to the couple.

Finally, Matt and Ashley are announced as Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Hardy. Everyone clapped as they walked back down the aisle. Then John and I linked arms again. This is the first time I searched for my boyfriend. I saw him looking unhappy as I predicted. I gave him a smile but I know he knew something was up. But could he really blame me? I haven't seen John in over 2 years.

After we lined up to throw rice at the newlyweds, Channing came and stood behind me, wrapping his arm around my waist. People would think that this was a cute gesture but I knew it was because John was standing across from me. I love Channing and all but he doesn't have to get all possessive.

We all go to the reception hall and everything looked great. It was a good DJ and everything looked perfect. Channing and I got to talk for a little but then I had to go sit at the bride and groom table.

After all the toasts, it was time for the duet. And holy shit, I am so scared. I don't even know what I'm singing with John because Ashley said she wanted to surprise me. But knowing her, it's going to be a song I won't like. I saw Ashley got up on the little stage that they had set up for us.

"Well for the first song for me and Matt to dance to, I wanted my baby sister and our dearest friend to sing it." Ashley explained to everyone, "So give them both a round of applause."

Everyone did just that and some even whistled. I walked up to the microphone as John got on the opposite one.

"I don't even know what song we are singing and I have no idea why they picked me. So get ready to plug your ears." John joked as everyone laughed.

"It's a mystery to me." I smiled. "But I hope you all enjoy it."

Then the opening cords of 'Hate That I Love You' began. Oh god, this isn't good at all. But I swallowed down the lump in my throat and sang . . .

_**That's how much I love you (yeah)  
That's how much I need you (yeah, yeah, yeahah)  
And I can't stand ya  
Most everything you do  
Make me wanna smile  
Can I not like you for awhile**_

Oh no, I was afraid this was going to happen. I knew I was going to have flashbacks!

"_Hey, don't I get a special thank you." John smiled at her._

_Nicole laughed, "What does that mean?"_

"_Hmm, for right now a hug from a pretty lady will do."_

"_Sorry, don't know you well enough." Nicole smiled. "Maybe next time."_

"_I'll hold you to that." _

Then it was John's turn. I was surprised that he even knew the words to this song.

_**Cuz' you won't let me  
You upset me girl  
And then you kiss my lips  
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)  
Can't remember what you did  
**_

_It sent a shiver down her spine every time she heard him say her nickname. Then he said, "You know I don't know how you do it but you make me forget why I was mad at you. I hate that."_

_Nicole giggled, "It's a gift."_

I avoided looking at John. I know he's probably seeing flashbacks too and I know that it hurts. This song is basically our relationship right now. But I sang,

_**But I hate it...  
You know exactly what to do  
So that I can't stay mad at you  
For too long that's wrong**_

_Nicole rolled her eyes and giggled, "You're such a pervert."_

"_I know, but you love me right?" John asked._

"_Unfortunately for me, yes of course I do." She teased him. She gave him another kiss and he kissed her back even deeper. She kissed him harder and slower. She wrapped her arms around him as he pulled her closer. _

John continued to sing while trying not to look at his ex-girlfriend as well.

_**But I hate it...  
You know exactly how to touch  
So that I don't want to fuss... and fight no more  
Said I despise that I adore you**_

"_What are you doing, Nicole?"_

_Nicole threw her arms around him and kissed his bare shoulder, "I'm sorry, JJ." Then she trailed kisses up to his neck and repeated, "I'm sorry." Then she kissed his cheek. His skin tingled everywhere she kissed._

"_I forgive you, Nicole." John replied giving her a soft kiss on the temple._

Here I go now. I notice that everyone is dead silent as if they know what is going on between the two of us.

_**And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah...)  
I can't stand how much I need you**_

_Randy just listened in surprise. Wow, did she get almost exactly what John said right. These two were just meant for each other. But then he heard the brunette woman sigh, "You know what's funny, Rands?"_

"_What's that?" Randy asked._

"_How the person who has hurt me so much is the same exact person that I want to comfort me and tell me that everything is going to be ok…" Nicole asked, "How can that be? It doesn't make any sense to me."_

_Randy looked back again sympathetically, "It make perfect sense. It means no matter what he does that you want to hate him for, you never can. And you will never be able to hate him. You'll always love him."_

_**And I hate how much I love you boy (oooh whoah...)  
But I just can't let you go  
And I hate that I love you so**_

"_I love John so much and I don't know if I could handle it if I lost him, Ash." Nicole revealed to her sister._

This is getting harder with ever verse. It's taking everything that I have to not break down in front of everyone. It's John's turn anyway so I'll get a little break.

_**And you completely know the power that you have  
The only one that makes me laugh**_

"_You just didn't need to be worried, Shorty. I liked not talking about it. Every time when I was with you, it made all the memories and feeling go away. You made me laugh and just forget about my life for one. You were just what I needed then. That's why I didn't tell you about her." John told her._

I swallowed and sang back, looking into the crowd . . .

_**Said it's not fair  
How you take advantage of the fact  
That I... love you beyond the reason why (why...)  
And it just ain't right**_

_He took the dog tags out from under his shirt and held them out to her. She saw that there was one more than usual and she saw on the new one, it had Nicole's full name plus his nickname for her engraved on it._

"_Oh, JJ." Nicole swallowed hard and tried to push back the tears that were threatening to spill out. She knew how much his dog tags truly meant to him. "You didn't have to do that."_

"_Of course I did. I love you Shorty, so this way whenever we're apart, a little part of you will be with me." John said, "But that's still not all."_

After that last part, it is getting harder and harder not to look at him. I know everyone is wondering when we will finally look at each other. I wonder if he is feeling what I'm feeling now. John began his verse . . .

_**And I hate how much I love you girl  
I can't stand how much I need you**_

_Even though starring in this movie could be the biggest break of your career?" Ashley asked._

_John didn't even have to hesitate to answer, "As cheesy as this may sound, Ash. She's everything to me. It isn't worth it if she's not there to share it with me."_

John swallowed hard and continued . . .

_**And I hate how much I love you girl  
But I just can't let you go  
But I hate that I love you so**_

_Nicole was finally done, and she waited for John to say it, but surprisingly it never came. Instead, John cupped her face in his hands and pressed his lips against hers. To say Nicole was surprised would have been and understatement, but she was kissing him back, kind of hungrily. Like she had missed it, which secretly she had but didn't want to admit it. She felt sparks with every kiss and his lips were so soft and warm. He started to pull away from her, but Nicole didn't want to stop. It reminded of that drunken night back inn New York, these kisses were so damn addictive. Instead of pulling away like he was, she pulled him closer wrapping her arms around his neck. After awhile she realized where they were, and that there was a show going on, so she reluctantly pulled away._

I couldn't stand it any longer, I have to look at him. I look at him as I see his eyes meet mine. Now as we look in each other's eyes, we both sing . . .

_**One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me  
And your kiss won't make me weak**_

_Nicole gave him a quick kiss. She went to pull away but his hand found the back of her head and he gave her the most passionate, spine-tingling, make-you-go-weak-in-the-knees kiss she had ever had. He pulled away smiling as she mustered up a smile after a kiss like that. John said, "I love you, Shorty."_

"_I love you too, JJ." Then without another word, she left to go meet her sister and best friend._

I know he's going through the same pain that ii am to see the flashbacks of our relationship. His eyes could never lie to me and they look like how I feel. We continue along,

_**But no one in this world knows me the way you know me  
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...**_

_Nicole smiled, "You're my best friend too and believe me if any of us was going to screw it up, it would be me. Face it John Felix Anthony Cena, you're stuck with me for life."_

"_Well Nicole Elizabeth Massaro" he smirked when he used her full name too, "I wouldn't have it any other way."_

I'm glad that this song is almost over. I'm going to kill my sister for doing this. Anyway I kept singing as Matt and Ashley kept dancing,

_**As much I love you (as much as I need you oh...)  
As much as I need you (oooh... as so much I love you)  
As much I love you (oh...)  
As much as I need you**_

_After about an hour or so, she got up out of bed and started to pack. She hated this idea so much but knew she had to do it. Tears poured down her face but it was the only way that could make it all better.__**  
**_

Finally, the last verse. I can do it. I'm still looking at John while he still is looking at me. It feels like no one else is in the room, just us. I want to hurry because I feel tears come to my eyes.

_**And I hate that I love you soooo  
And I hate how much I love you boy  
I can't stand how much I need ya (cant stand how much I need you)  
**_

_He saw Ashley running for her sister so he whispered to Nicole, "He won't I'll make sure of that. And I don't know how and don't know if you even want me too, but I promise that I'll always be there to protect you."_

_**And I hate how much I love you boy  
But I just can't let you go (but I just can't let you go no...)  
And I hate that I love you so  
**_

"_You know, I thought Liz was supposed to be the one. But I know now that I was wrong, I think I found her. And she's standing right in front of me." John said while gently stroking her cheek._

"_I think I found the one for me too." Nicole smiled even bigger. She gently kissed him and felt his arms wrap around her waist. She felt him deepen the kiss and electricity flowed through her body. Passion and heat overcame her._

Finally, just the last line, so we sang it together . . .

_**And I hate that I love you so... soo...**_

Everyone was applauding and cheering. I put on the fakest smile ever and walked off the stage, not even looking at John. Ashley came over and gave me a hug, "Are you ok?"

What do you think? But I said, "Yeah, I just need some air. I'll be back in a little bit ok?"

Ashley understood and nodded her head.

So I walked outside to get some fresh air. I found a bench and sat down. And there I just lost it and let go of all my self restraint. I started to bawl my eyes out. I just couldn't take all of those flashbacks of me and John's relationship. I just feel so guilty because I was the one that threw that all away.

So I just let it all out. I almost didn't hear someone ask, "Nicole?"

I quickly wiped my tears and looked up into piercing blue eyes. I'm so glad he followed me, "Hey Randy."

He went and sat down beside me, opening his arms. I scooted over and hugged him to me while he just rubbed my back comfortingly. He knew I didn't want to talk, just to be held. God, I didn't know that it could hurt this much. I'm so glad that Randy is here with me. He just keeps telling me that everything is ok. I pulled away and smiled at him.

He wiped the remaining tears from my eyes, thank god for waterproof make up. I said, "Thank you."

"Nick, you don't have to thank me. That's what I'm here for." He replied, returning my smile.

I gave him another big hug and a kiss on the cheek. But my luck is really bad because Samantha came walking out. Now she is still one of my friends but she is still suspicious of us two. I'll tell you more on that later. So I bet she didn't like that little thing.

"Umm Nicole, we need you for the dance thing. You too, Randy." Samantha said quickly. I just nodded and Randy and I stood up. We walked back in and Randy and Samantha went to the dance floor.

I saw John waiting for me so I made my way over there. We both didn't say anything at first, just grabbed each other's hand. I brought my other to his shoulder while his other hand rested on my waist. And again, through the fabric of my dress, I could feel the heat from his hand. I hear 'Sorry' by Buckcherry begin to play. What is this? Some kind of a make Nicole cry day? But my eyes never leave his. Finally he speaks, "Can I ask you a question?"

I was afraid what he was going to ask. But I nodded my head anyway so he asks, "What were you thinking?"

I scrunched my nose in confusion, "Thinking?"

"Yeah, what were you thinking when you decided to pick up and leave without saying goodbye?" John asked with no emotion on his face.

I looked away from him and tried to find Randy. I couldn't see him, "Please John, do we need to bring this up now?"

"Yeah because I have every right to do this. I want to know what was going through your mind when you decided to leave" John began to say, ". . . Was it me? Did I do something wrong?"

I instantly looked up in his eyes, "no John, you could never do wrong to me." I waited and thought for a moment, "Didn't you get my letter?"

"Yeah, but I couldn't ask a damn letter all these questions. It didn't seem like it was you at all."

He looked at me intensely, "You know, I've wondered why you left. And I've come to the conclusion that I just wasn't good enough for you."

I swear to god. How could he ever think something like that? "You know that's not true John. You know I'm not like that."

"I thought I did know you." John said sadly, "And I'm sorry for making a conclusion when I can't have someone telling me any different. I stood by you and was willing to give up everything just so that I could be with you."

"That right there is why." I started to explain. I kept my gaze on him as we swayed to the music, "Everything I said in that letter is true. I wasn't going to let you give up everything you have ever worked for just for me. You are meant to be great and do great things."

"But Nicole, that is my decision to make. It hurt that you seemed like you just threw our whole relationship away like it meant nothing to you."

Ii shook my head, now he was really making me angry. How could he think like that at all? "Well what do you want me to say, John? Do you want me to say that I made a mistake? Well I know I did, ok? There probably was a way better way to handle that . . . but look what's happened to you since I left, shall we? You've starred in that movie and it was a huge hit. You've been WWE Champion 2 more times . . . and you even have a beautiful girlfriend to share it all with. So don't act like your life went to shit after I left. It just got way better."

I could see anger in his eyes, "What about yours, Nicole. You live in fucken Los Angeles and are in the movies. You model and do so much other shit. You are dating such a popular movie star boyfriend to top it all off. You have just had the greatest life after you left. So I bet you think it's the smartest move you ever made."

Finally, it was the end of the song so I dropped his hand and backed away from him, "I don't need this." I turned and walked away from him.

I ran over to a table and started to breathe. No way was I prepared to fight with him. I felt angry tears begin to sting my eyes. It is so hard to keep all those feelings inside of me. I hate that he thinks all of those horrible things. And it hurts to think that the relationship we had had been reduced to this.

While I tried my hardest to keep my tears from falling, I felt two arms snake around my waist. I turn to see Channing just smiling at me. Wow, no offense but he can really be dense sometimes. I put on a fake smile for him, "Hey baby, where did you come from?"

He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, "I just came back from talking to your parents. They really are a great bunch . . . hey babe are you ok?"

What was your first clue? "Oh, I'm fine . . ." I began but I hurriedly changed the subject, "Uh . . . what did you talk to my parents about?"

Channing smirked, "Oh I just wanted their opinion on something. But can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah anything." I replied.

I thought he was going to ask me why I was so upset. But boy was I ever wrong. Nothing could have prepared me for something like this. He got down on one knee, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a velvet ring box. He flipped it open and it revealed a huge gold colored diamond ring.

"I was really asking your parents for their blessing to know if I can marry you. They gave it to me." Channing looked up at me and I'm really pinching myself right now. I can't believe it. "When I first met you, I fell in love with you. You're such a beautiful woman and you really make my life complete. You're what I have been searching for. I would be honored if you would be my wife. So Nicole Elizabeth Massaro, will you marry me?"

I was just speechless at first. I can't believe that some guy really wanted to marry me of all people. And no one didn't even see what was going on. Maybe this is the one I'm supposed to with forever. So I hurriedly nodded my head and said, "Yes Channing, I will."

He smiled so big and he slipped the ring on my finger. He stood up and laid a kiss on my lips. Don't get me wrong, Channing is really a great guy. He's sweet to me and treats me right. But John is the one that my heart says I need. But after our fight today, I don't think we'll ever go back to the way we were. So I guess that it is meant to be this way . . .

**John's POV**

After the fight I had with Nicole, I went to see Maria. I didn't mean to pick a fight with her. But for so long I have wanted to know why she left me. I guess the combination of that and being bombarded with flashback, I just snapped. I've spent so much time being angry with her, I just wanted an explanation to tell me different.

Anyway I found Maria, looking beautiful as usual. "Hey Ria."

"Oh John—" Maria started to say. But I just laid a passionate kiss on her lips. What? It helps me.

I pull away, "You were saying?"

"Oh . . . nothing." Maria said dreamily. I smirked because I knew I had that effect on her. I was about to say something to her when I saw out of the corner of my eye, Nicole's movie star pretty boy, boyfriend walk out on that little stage.

The he began to say, "Everyone, can I have your attention please? I have a very important announcement to make."

Then he had this huge grin on his face. I just rolled my eyes. It was probably just something like he was starring in another movie. Big surprise.

"I just asked the beautiful Nicole Massaro to marry me. And she said yes!" I whipped my head to look at him.

I heard a series of 'Aww's' and 'Oh My God's' while everyone applauded. I searched for Nicole but then a spotlight hit her. I saw her blush and smile.

She walked towards him, got up on the stage, and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. Everyone gave them their congratulations but I kept my gaze on her. After she gave her mom and dad a hug, I saw that her light blue eyes fell on me. We are having a conversation with our eyes. Hers read 'I'm sorry' while I know mine read 'Whatever, it's your life.' If she didn't want me, I guess Channing is the one she wants.

**Next Chapter: Nicole is coming back to the WWE against Channing's wishes. While there, Randy tries to talk to John about Nicole. But Nicole questions herself whether she is over John or not?**

**Disclaimer: I'm disclaiming the song that I used. It is 'Hate That I Love You' by Rihanna and Ne-Yo. Sorry just thought it needed disclaiming.**


	3. I'm Over Him, Right?

Chapter 3: I'm Over Him, Right

**Thanks to CenaFan1395, foolishangel87, supernaturalsdarkangel08, Miss PopularityofDrkness77, CraftyTink529, xDeflowerxThexAngelx, xAttitudex, Silbermond096, and Randy4ever! Jeesh, another 9 reviews. Did I mention that you guys absolutely rock? You are really awesome and thank you so much.**

**Sorry for the week long update but I hope you like it. I expect lots of reviews so read and review : it will be greatly appreciated! And here we go with Chapter 3! Enjoy!**

**Chapter 3: **_I'm Over Him, Right?_

**3 Months Later**

I've been thinking a lot lately about going back to the WWE. At the wedding, I did have time to ask Mr. McMahon about it and I have called him to talk about it. He said that he would love for me to make a return. It's just that no job seemed right for me. I knew the WWE was my true passion and I would always be a part of it. But when I talked to Channing about it, he wouldn't hear of it.

He said I would be on the road a lot and he wouldn't see me as much. He just concluded that he didn't want me to do it. So that's where I start. We have been fighting about it for at least a couple days now.

"Nicole, I told you that I don't want you to go back to that kind of lifestyle." Channing said challenging me.

I shook my head, frustrated. "I want to Channing. Wrestling is something that I have wanted to do since I was a little girl. I had to leave before but I want to come back. I live for the business; it's in my blood."

"But then we would hardly see each other. I want to be able to see or visit my fiancée whenever I want." He stated. He's really making me pissed off at this. He really just can't accept that wrestling is what I truly want to do.

"I'm not going to just sit around and do nothing. I'm an independent woman and I hate feeling like I'm not contributing to this relationship."

"I'm not saying you have to not do something. Why don't you just keep modeling or act in another movie." Channing concluded. "So you might as well drop it, Nicole. It's not going to happen."

I threw my hand up in the air in disbelief. He just didn't understand me at all. I have no idea what I am going to do. So I say hurriedly, "Whatever, I'm going to go take a shower."

"Nicole—" My fiancée started to say.

"No Chan, I need to be alone right now." And I headed on up to my room. I didn't take a shower though; I just needed to be alone and away from him before I do something stupid. I sat down on the bed and wiped angry tears from my eyes. I love Channing and he should respect my wishes and encourage me to do this, right? I know John would. John always had supported me with whatever I wanted to do.

Suddenly, tears began to brim my eyes again. It's times like these where I wish John and I were still talking. He always knew just what to say to me and always knew what I wanted. But I knew it was impossible to talk to him. He was still furious with me. So I called my sister Ashley instead, but of course there was no answer. Her and Matt finally was able to go on their honeymoon and took a whole 2 months off. Jeesh!

Well since Ashley didn't answer her phone, I called the only other person that I could talk to about this. I really needed to get an outside opinion on this and Randy always knew the right thing to say and always gave me advice on everything. And best of all, he could make me feel so much better. Lucky for me, he picked up.

"Hello?" I heard his low, booming voice on the other end of the phone.

"Hey Rands, it's Nicole." I replied back to him. I tried to sound a little bit cheerful but I knew it wasn't working.

"Obviously it's you." He chuckled lightly, "What's wrong, Nick? Did you and lover boy have another fight?"

"Yeah." I smirked. I swear he was as bad as John was when it came to knowing exactly what was wrong with me. "I don't know what to do, Rands. I love Channing and want to respect his wishes but he is so against me coming back to the WWE. But I really do want to come back."

"Well have you talked to Vince about it?"

"Yeah, a couple of times. He said he would love for me to make a return and that it would be good for the business." I informed my best friend.

"Then just go for it, Nick. If Vince is all for it and you say you really want to come back to doing something you love, just go. If Channing really loves you the way he says he does, he will know that this is really what you want. You're really serious about doing this. And it should be your decision on your part not what he wants you too do." He suggested to me.

I nodded my approval. He makes so much sense and he is right. I have to do this for myself, "You're right, Rands. I should just go for it. Thank you so much."

I knew he was smirking right now but he replied, "No problem, Nick."

"I guess I'll go call Vince to see when I can come and get this all finalized. Then I can come and visit you."

Now I knew he was smiling through the phone at the thought of that. I really did miss him. "Great, I can't wait . . . but would you do me a favor while you are down here?"

"Anything, just name it."

I heard him sigh so I bet this was going to be something I wasn't going to like. "I need you to talk to John . . ."

Did he just ask me to talk to John? He knows I can't do that. "You know I can't Randy. He's still so furious with me."

"Listen that may be what it seems like but I know he really needs someone to talk to. And I know deep down, he misses you." Randy began to explain, "You guys will never be together again but I know he misses you being there for him. I know it you just try to talk to him again, he'll come around."

I mulled this over in my head for a little bit but then an idea hit me, "What about Maria? Why can't she talk to him? She is his girlfriend . . ."

I heard a defeated sigh on the other end of the phone, "She's tried but it seems like she can't get through to him. You know he can't really talk to many people but he was always different when it came to you."

That was true. And I knew I had to. Even though, he said all those horrible things to me, I do still care about him. So I agreed, "Ok Rands, I'll try. But I can't guarantee anything."

"Thanks Nick."

"Your welcome but you owe me big for this one."

I felt him smirk through the phone, "How about when you come to visit, I take you out to your favorite restaurant?"

"That sounds great." I smiled. Randy knew just what to do, it amazes me. "Well I'll let you go. I'll call you when I know exactly when I'm coming to visit."

"Ok bye Nick." Randy said.

"Say the old nickname."

"What one?" I knew he was confused but I wanted to hear it.

"You know, the one you can't say to me anymore because Samantha doesn't want you to." I explained.

"Oh," At first I didn't think he was going to say it. But he surprised me when he said, "Bye beautiful."

I smiled, "Bye Rands."

"No wait! Now you say the old nickname." He smirked.

I had to smile even wider. "Ok . . . bye handsome." Then we hung up. It was hard I must say to be friends with Randy sometime. Because with the whole Samantha being suspicious, it was hard. We couldn't really be ourselves around each other like we were a while back.

I guess I can tell you real quick about this whole Samantha thing. Whenever she and Randy started to date exclusively, she was always a little suspicious of us two. And it is weird because we are still really good friends with each other. Well it all started when it was the first few months in their relation ship, me and Randy would have those nicknames for each other. He called me beautiful and I called him handsome. But I guess we couldn't do that so we stopped saying it. She also didn't like the fact that I would spend the night over at his house when me and Channing would have one of our blowout fights. She automatically thought what Channing thought, we were sleeping with each other.

That could be farther from the truth. It took me a long time to regain her trust and make her believe that I would never do that to her. Randy is just one of my best friends, nothing more and nothing less. But I know she is still a little weary of us but you know what, I could care less sometimes. So that is basically it. Stupid, right?

Anyway back to the present, I couldn't wait to come back to the WWE. I was anxious and excited at the same time. And I do hope I can help John. If Randy asked me and he knows how I am about this that must mean that there is something seriously wrong. I just hope I will be able to help. But we will see what happens . . .

**A Week Later**

I couldn't believe it. Me plane was going to land and I was meeting Vince later to know when I can make my return. I didn't tell Channing but he'll know when I get back. He's not going to be too happy but he will have to accept it. And best of all, I get to spend some time with Randy. He's the one that is waiting for me and I can't wait to see him.

I went to go get my things when I heard and all too familiar voice, yell, "Nick!"

I turned to see Randy. I ran to his open arms and gave him a big hug. I missed him so much because I haven't seen him in over 3 months. "Rands! I missed you!"

"I missed you so much too!" he squeezed me again before releasing me, "I'm so glad you're here. I haven't seen you in so long. Well it seems like it."

I smiled at him, "I know. It's been too long. It doesn't seem like 3 months."

"That's for sure." He smirked at me, "Anyway, we better get your things so we can go to none other than . . . wait for it . . . Red Lobster!"

"Oh my god, Rands. You know what I love. Let's hurry up, I'm starving." Randy got my bag and put it in the car. Then he drove us over to Red Lobster. I absolutely love this place. And the whole time we talked about everything.

"Hello." The hostess greeted, "Welcome to Red Lobster, is this for two?"

Randy nodded. She led us on over to the table when I noticed that her eyes were literally glued to Randy. Ok I'm going to have some fun with this.

"I hope you enjoy your meal." Then finally with one last look at Randy, she walked off. I took this time to bust up laughing.

"What is so funny?" Randy asked.

But before I could tell him, a pretty young waitress came and I knew the hostess must have dished the details about Randy, because she looked so giddy. Wow I don't know why this is funny to me but it was. "Hi my name is Seline and I will be your server for this afternoon. Can I start you off with something to drink?"

"Yeah, I'll have some coffee." Randy answered while looking at the menu.

"And I'll have a Coke." I said. She scribbled it down but her eyes, like the hostess', were glued to Randy. I mean yeah Randy is hot . . . ok he's gorgeous but it's just funny that he doesn't even notice any of this.

"I'll be right back with those." Then she walked off.

Randy put the menu down and looked over at me, "Now why were you laughing at me earlier?"

I smirked at him, "I was laughing at the hostess and now the waitress. They have been trying to get your attention but you don't even notice."

Randy smirked at me again and then shrugged his shoulders, "It's weird. I don't even notice that stuff anymore."

I looked at him impressed, "You really love her, don't you."

He nodded. He was so cute when he did that. I'm really happy that he found Samantha, despite all the problems that I have with her. "I do. But it's not only that. I think I just grew up a little too."

"Yeah, I think you did." I smiled at him. The waitress came back with our drinks and gave Randy the once over before walking off again with our orders.

We both laughed this time and then just kept chatting away. I really missed hanging out with my best friend like this. Anyway, when we went to pay our bill, I decided that I wanted to have a little fin with the waitress. Randy agreed to it.

"Hello. Did you enjoy your meal today, handsome?" she asked cheerfully and smiling. She was talking directly at him and didn't pay any attention to me. So I thought this would be the time to speak up.

"Umm excuse me . . . are you flirting with my fiancé?" I asked suspiciously. It was so hard no to laugh when I saw the look on her face. It looked like a deer that just got caught in the headlights of a car. The I saw her eyes flicker to my engagement ring.

"I'm so sorry, ma'm. I didn't notice that you two were engaged." She stammered out. I saw Randy's mouth begin to twitch.

I rolled my eyes, "Whatever you say . . . come on baby. Let's get out of here."

Randy kissed the top of my head and we walked out hand-in-hand to the car. Pretty soon the car was full of laughter. That really just made my day.

"Her face was so priceless!" Randy said through laughs.

"I know." I laughed back.

After we pulled ourselves together, we went back to the hotel that the WWE was staying at. And they ended up putting us in a king-sized hotel suite with just one bed. But that didn't matter to me or Randy so we took it. While on the way up to our room, I saw my other good friend, Candice, talking to Maria. I know her of all people.

I yelled her name, "Candice?"

She spun around really fast, "Nicole? Is that you?"

"Yeah!" We ran to each other and gave each other hugs. But she was the one that spoke up first, "What are you doing here?"

I smiled, "Well I'm coming back . . ."

"No way!" she squealed with excitement. "That's great!"

"Yeah, I just have a meeting with Vince to know the date but I'm definitely coming back."

"That's great to hear. Hey! How about after your meeting, we go to a club to celebrate?" she suggested. This is just like Candice; always the party animal.

I nodded my head, "Great, sounds like fun. You coming, Randy?"

Randy nodded in agreement, "Count me in."

We hugged each other again and I saw Maria out of the corner of my eye. Now I know she wasn't one of my biggest fans, but she didn't say a damn thing. She just looked bored. You know bitch, you could say something.

Then I heard her yell, "John! Over here!"

I think I felt my heart drop down in my stomach. I turned away from Candice to have a look at John. Of course, he looked so hot in his usual blue jean shorts with a Chain Gang t-shirt. I saw him come over and plant a kiss on Maria's lips. Jealousy instantly stung me.

"Hey John" Candice and Randy greeted.

"Hey guys." He said back. Then his eyes fell on me. I saw they instantly turned to anger and surprise at the same time.

I decided to be nice so I said, "Hi John." I gave him a nervous smile.

He said back, "Oh hey Nicole." Then turned back to Maria. It stung really bad that he would do that. I mean was that really necessary? Was he doing this to me on purpose? I gave Randy a look that read, 'Please get me out of here.'

Randy got the look thankfully and said, "Well let's go, Nick. We have to get you all settled n and you have to get ready for that meeting."

"Ok let's go." I said bye to Candice and John. All John did was give me a shrug and went back to talk to Maria. I didn't realize that tears were going to spill any moment now. We got in the room and I know the tears are flowing.

"Oh Randy, I didn't realize that he was that mad at me. He was so cold to me." I said through my tears.

"I should have warned you, Nick. I'm sorry." Randy said while giving me a comforting hug.

I cried into his chest. The pain stung so bad and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I sniffled, "I never thought that it could get this bad. I knew he would be mad but not mad enough to not even want to look at me. It hurts so much."

"Shh, it's ok." Randy whispered to me, "Look Nick, I know all you need is to convince him to talk to you. It'll get better."

"I can't talk to him, Rands."

"Yes you can. You're strong ok. You can do it." Randy said, "But this is going to be a problem."

"What do you mean?" I looked up at him.

Randy looked into my eyes, "Are you over him? I mean completely over him?"

I hurriedly nodded my head, "Yeah, I am."

"Nick, if you are over him, then why are you crying over him?" Randy questioned me.

I honestly couldn't give him an answer. I had to be though or I wouldn't have said yes to Channing. I was completely over John Cena . . . right?"

**Third Person POV**

Randy walked down to the cafeteria area to get Nicole's favorite drink. He needed to calm her down because her meeting was in a couple hours. His thoughts then drifted back to the questions he asked her. He knew she wasn't over him, no matter how many times she said she was. Those two were meant for each other and everyone knew it.

Anyway, he got 3 or 4 bottle of water and started to walk back when he saw John coming towards him. He spoke up, "Hey John!"

John looked up, "Hey Randy, what are you doing?"

Randy shrugged, "Just getting bottles of water for Nicole."

Randy saw that John tensed up by just the sound of her name, "I'm going to ask you something that you may not like but I'm asking anyway. Why did you give Nicole the cold shoulder earlier?"

"Do you really need the answer to that?"

Randy nodded, "Look I get why you were mad at her before. But why can't you forgive her for something that she is sorry for?"

"Because she is the one that threw it all away. She's going and getting married to a freaking movie star. And then she got mad at me at Ash's wedding without even hearing me out."

Randy looked at one of his best friends and sighed, "You miss her, don't you?"

Randy saw John hesitated before answering, "No I don't."

"John, come on. I know you do." Randy stated, "You guys had a relationship that I and everyone else had envied. Nicole is such a wonderful person and even I hate it when I don't get to see her once in awhile. So I can't even begin to imagine how hard it is for you."

John said nothing but Randy knew he was getting to him. So he continued, "John, don't spend your time hating her for a mistake that she regrets so much. She's walked back in your life but do you really want her to walk back out?"

John shook his head, "No I really don't."

So Randy said, "Why don't you go talk to her?"

John thought about it long and hard and then nodded, "You're right. Can I go up now?"

"Yeah go on ahead. But take these waters while you're at it." Randy said handing John the bottles. John walked on up to Randy and Nicole's room, hoping the whole time that he could make it right.

**Next Chapter: John and Nicole finally have their much needed talk to one another. Will they finally be able to put it all behind each other and become friends again?**


	4. It's Going To Be Ok

Chapter 4: It's Going To Be Ok

**Thanks to CenaFan1395, Randy4ever, foolishangel87, xAttitudex, MissPopularityofDrkness77, CraftyTink529, sailormama, Silbermond096, and Rickster627 for the reviews. Wow another 9 reviews. You guys don't need to be reminded that you rock but you do! I love that you love this story so much and at this rate we could hit a 100 reviews which is one of my goals lol**

**Well I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much as the last one and remember to review!**

**Chapter 4: **_It's Going To Be Ok_

I was over sitting on the bed, feeling sorry for myself. The way John acted towards me made me feel like shit. I just couldn't believe that he could act that cold to me. I know he was mad but I didn't think that mad. But after I was wallowing in my grief, I said to myself that I did have a meeting later on so I got up and was about to go get a shower when there was a knock at the door. I swear, Randy can be such a dork sometimes.

I opened the door and said, "Randy, you are such a . . ."

I saw that it wasn't my 6 ft. 4 best friend; it turned out to be John. He was standing outside of the door holding like 4 bottles of raspberry flavored water. After we stared at each other for awhile he asked, "Hey Nicole, can I come in?"

I just nodded and stepped aside. I didn't know what else to do, I was just utterly speechless. I had no idea why he was here, I mean didn't he just basically not want to talk to me at all a little bit ago. But I had to admit, I loved seeing him. I miss him so much and I just wanted to throw my arms around him for a big hug. But I knew I couldn't so I kept my hands to myself. I just went and sat down on the couch while he sat down on the chair across from me.

We stared at each other for awhile until I finally had the courage to speak up, "What are you doing here?"

John looked deeper into my eyes and said, "I came here to explain."

"Explain what?" I asked confused.

"I wanted to explain why I was such a jerk to you earlier."

I shook my head, "I know why because I figured it out on my own. Look, I know why you were mad at me at the wedding. It was understandable. I would be mad at you if you did anything like that to me. I just don't understand why you had to bring it up right there."

John lowered his gaze, "Because I think I had every right to. You know we would have never gotten the chance to talk about it and I just had to know."

"Why couldn't you have just waited until after the dance? It would have been easier."

I know I was raising my voice but I was still angry with him. He started to raise his voice also, "I don't know why, ok? It was just so hard for me to see you again. And then those flashbacks of our relationship hurt the worst. I just couldn't wait."

"Ok, I get it. So why did you have to treat me like that earlier. I explained to you why I left at the wedding but you're still acting like that." I said angrily.

John glared at me but then I saw his expression softened a little, not much. I looked at him and I saw it was hard. I didn't want to be angry at him but I had every right to be, don't you think? But he said, "I was like that earlier because after we fought with each other, you suddenly get engaged to your boyfriend. I mean I knew you had one, but it never really hit me until I heard that. It just really hurt."

I could see the pain in his eyes and I felt tears come to mine. This is really hard because I know what I'm about to. I see him looking at the ground so I said, "So . . . um . . . you being mad at me has nothing to do with you being angry with me for losing the baby?"

After that was spoken, John's head shot up so fast, I swear he could have got whiplash. I guess he never realized that I did blame myself all this time for our child's death. He looked into my tearful blue eyes and said, "Nicole, never think like that. I was never angry at you for that and I never blamed you for that. It was Paul's fault, not yours."

Tears were pouring down my cheeks. I never really talked about this at all to anyone. Sure Randy and I talked about it but he didn't know what to say. I didn't blame him. But I've had to carry that pain for so long and now it had to finally come out. And in front of the person that I miss so much, this sucks a lot.

"I'm . . . I'm so sorry, John." I choked out. I put my head in my hands to hide my face from his. I thought he was going to leave because I was such a basket case. As far as I knew, he was still mad at me. But then I felt two big, strong arms wrap around me, pulling me into a comforting hug. I was still sobbing uncontrollably but I hugged him back as I cried into his chest.

He stroked my hair gently as he whispered, "Shh, Shorty. It's going to be ok."

And just like that, I felt better. Sure I was still crying a little but it had calmed me down. And he called me Shorty. I haven't heard that in so long and it felt so great to hear it from him. I sat up as his arms left me. "Thanks John. I've been bottling up those feelings for what seems like forever.

John gave me that dimpled smiled of his that still made my heart flutter. "No problem. You know how I always hated to see you cry. I guess that has never changed."

I gave him a huge smile back. Tears were still in my eyes but I felt a lot better. But then he asked me, "So all this time, you blamed yourself?"

I nodded, "Yeah. That's part of the reason why I left. I thought I let you down and you were going to leave me. And the other part of me leaving is because I thought I was holding you back from doing something that you love to do."

"Nicole, I was never disappointed in you. I was never going to leave you because I love you so much." John explained, "And I was not going to take the movie role because I thought if I left you, I was going to lose you."

"You would have never lost me, John." I stated.

We didn't say anything for a long time. I can't believe all this time, it was just a mistake. If I would have just talked to him then, this never would have happened. God, I'm such an idiot sometimes. Then I decided to ask, "Well do . . . do you think we can be friends again? Because I do want that."

He smiled at me again, "Yeah, I really want to be your friend too."

He wiped the remaining tears from my eyes as I smiled too, "I knew it."

"So are you going to tell me why you are here all of the sudden?"

"Oh yeah, I'm coming back to the WWE. I just have a meeting with Vince later to know exactly when." I said happily. It was amazing how John could make me feel so happy in a matter of seconds.

"That's great, Nicole. It's been weird not having you around here." John said, "You truly belong here."

"I know I do." I smiled. I told you John supported everything that I have ever wanted to do. I don't know if I'm over him yet; I honestly couldn't tell you. But I'm just going to ignore that for now and just have fun with him again.

Randy came walking through the door which pulled me out of my thoughts. He looked at the both of us curiously, "Everything alright?"

I know he saw my tear stained face so he just wanted to make sure. But I went over to him and gave him a big hug, "Yeah, everything is alright." Then I whispered in his ear, "Thank you."

He smirked, "For what?" I know he had talked to John for me. And for that I always be grateful. He really does look out for me.

"Well I got to go get ready for my meeting, you two. Are you still taking me, Randy?" I asked my best friend.

"Yeah of course I am. Go ahead and get ready." Randy answered.

I smiled at him and then turned to John. "You going to the club with us later?"

John nodded, "Yeah see you then. And good luck with your meeting."

He gave me a hug before he left to go out the door. I was so happy that John and I were able to be friends again. I missed him so much and I just hope that I don't screw this up.

**At The Club**

My meeting with Vince went really well. I wouldn't be returning until a couple more weeks when they came to Los Angeles. I was so excited and I just couldn't wait. I was finally coming back! I was staying only until the next day so I was glad that we could go out tonight. I loved hanging with John, Randy, Jeff and Candice. It felt like old times except without Ashley and Matt.

The only minor setback was John brought his girlfriend Maria along. And like I said before, she's not my biggest fan. I'm not even allowed to look at John without her sending a dirty look my way. But I just tried to ignore her and I just talked to Randy mostly. Candice went out on the dance floor with Jeff so it was just me, John, Randy, and Maria at the table.

But then 'Whine Up' by Kat Deluna came on and I never could sit down to this song. So I turned to Randy and asked, "Come on Randy, will you dance with me?"

I pouted which I knew would work. He gave in, "Sure, why not."

I smiled and saw the look on John's face so I asked, "Do you want to dance too, John?"

I saw he was about to get up and join us but then Maria shot him the dirtiest look ever so he sat right back down and said, "No, you go ahead. I'll catch you later."

I gave him a small smile and me and Randy walked to the dance floor. We started dancing to the music and we got into it. I looked over to see how John was doing but I didn't see him or his bitch of a girlfriend. Now I was kind of feeling down about him leaving. Randy saw this and twirled me around so I would forget about it. I did and I was having a blast.

Then I felt to hands on my waist that I thought were Randy's. But I saw Randy was in front of me. I looked behind me and I saw that it was John. I smiled and turned to face him. I wrapped my arms around his neck while our hips swayed together. I was feeling the warmth of his body that was pressed up against mine. Then I felt Randy's body was pushing up against my back. So I was in a John Cena and Randy Orton sandwich. Whoever gets to do that? And I bet every girl wishes they could do that.

I felt Randy's fingers go through the belt loop of my jeans as he tried to pull me closer to him. He was leaning over so that his heavy breathing was in my ear. But meanwhile John's hands were still holding my waist as I was closer to him. I swear I wanted to attack both of them right now. We shouldn't be doing this but it was just harmless dirty dancing right? Our hips all swayed together. I still had my arms wrapped around John but they were both turning me on and I just wanted to take both of them to the nearest bathroom and have my way with them.

Then the song ended and we pulled away from each other. We didn't really say much when we walked back to the table but I had to sit down. Just wow! When we all sat down, Randy next to me and John across from me, I asked, "Where did Maria go, John?"

John just shrugged his shoulders, "She said she wasn't feeling well so she decided to leave."

I could tell that wasn't the whole truth but I let it go. Then Randy asked what time it was.

"1 a.m." John answered after looking at his cell phone.

"Well then we better go, Nick. You have an early flight tomorrow morning." Randy told me. That's right I do.

I nodded, "Ok Rands. Can you give me a minute to say good bye to John though?"

Randy looked at me and said, "Yeah, I'll be outside."

Then he walked away, leaving John and me alone. I asked the former WWE Champion, "Are you sure you don't want a ride back?"

"Yeah, it's cool. I'll just catch a ride with Jeff and Candice." He assured me. I looked at him, waiting for him to say more, ". . . So I guess this is goodbye."

I shook my head, "No, this is more of a 'see you later'. I'll be back in a couple of weeks so I'll see you then."

I looked deep in his eyes and saw doubt in them, "JJ, I will be back. I promise that I will never leave like that again."

I saw his face light up when I used the nickname I had for him. It was seriously a slip of the tongue but it felt so natural to say it. He gave me a hug as I gave him one back. It was the kind of hug to make sure that I was coming back. He needs to know that I could never do that to him again.

"See you later." I smiled at him.

"See you . . ." I turned away from him to walk out of the door but then I heard him say, "Shorty."

Tears came to my eyes when I heard it but I pretended that I didn't. so just from that nickname, I knew that everything was going to be alright between us.

**Next Chapter: Randy and John decide to surprise Nicole with them coming to visit her at her LA home. While there, Nicole and John grow closer to each other. And they end up doing something that they will either regret or it will make them realize their true feelings for each other.**


	5. I Want You

**Thanks to **_**Rickster627, foolishangel87**_**, **_**supernaturalsdarkangel08**_**, **_**Rand4ever**_**, **_**Cenafan1395**_**, **_**Silbermond096**_**, **_**CraftyTink529**_**, **_**mcena99**_**, **_**xAttitudex**_**, **_**Leslove4me**_**, and **_**DarkAngelofDrkness09**_** for the reviews. That is 11 reviews guys!! You guys are so awesome and I can't thank you enough. I didn't know that this would get so much attention! Keep it coming.**

**I saw 11 reviews the one day and I was like for the reward I'll give you an early update! I hope you guys all like it and expect lots of reviews for this chapter because well you'll see. Remember to read and review. Enjoy!!**

**Chapter 5: **_I Want You_

A week had passed since I came back home from the meeting I had with Vince. I was in such a good mood when I got back that I didn't even really care that Channing was so angry with me. I think the fight we had was the biggest that we ever had. He was so pissed to say it nicely. But eventually I got him to see it my way. It wasn't easy let me tell you. But let's just say I couldn't walk right for like a week.

But now Channing is gone again. He was going to be gone for another month because he is filming a new movie so he won't get to see my debut. That kind of hurts because I did expect my own fiancé to be there but I guess he does have to go back to work. I miss him a lot, I admit and I still have another whole week until the guys show up.

I decided to go take walk to go get some fresh air. Even though that is kind of hard to do in LA. While I was on the walk, I heard my cell phone go off, so I answered it.

"Hey Nick!" I heard Randy greet. He sounded pretty excited.

I smiled, "Hey Rands, what's up?"

"Oh I just have the best news ever!" He said excitedly.

"What's that?"

"Well we wanted to come up and visit you because we miss you a lot. We got the ok from Vince so we should be arriving at your place in a couple of hours."

"Oh my god, Randy! That's awesome!" I squealed. My best friend was coming to see me. I couldn't wait. But then something he said finally clicked in my head, "Wait a minute, you said we?"

"Yeah, me and John are coming to visit you." Randy explained. John is coming? Now I was like 10 times more excited than before. Then Randy asked, "And I have a favor to ask. Is it alright if we crash at your place because we forgot to book a hotel room?"

I didn't have to think twice about that, "You always forget don't you Randy? But yeah you can. I have the apartment to myself because Channing left for a month to film his next movie."

"Cool even better. We'll see you in a couple of hours." Randy said.

"See you," I hung up the phone. As you ca see, Randy doesn't really care for Channing either. I don't know why. Maybe it's because we've had so many fights that Randy thinks I shouldn't be with him. Anyway I hurried home to ready the place up for their arrival.

**2 hours Later**

Randy had just called me to tell me they would be there in a few minutes. So I threw on a pair of light blue jeans with just a simple white tank top. I like how the white looked good with my tan. Finally there was a knock at my door so I ran a brush through my hair and went to answer the door.

"Hey Rands!" I gave him an excited hug. I was so happy to see him. I'm glad they decided to surprise me. And somehow I knew it was Randy's idea to do this. He really does look out for me.

He gave me a huge hug back, "Hey Nick, how are you?"

"Way better now that you guys are here. Where is John anyway?" I asked my best friend while I let him inside so he could set his bags down.

"Oh he's coming. He just had to pay the cab driver and tip him."

"Rands, you let him pay for all of it?" I asked.

"Hey he offered." Randy threw up his hands in defense, "If he wanted to pay all of it, who was I to tell him no."

I shook my head, "You're such a cheap bastard, Mr. Orton."

He smirked, "Yeah I know. But you still love me, right?"

I was about to say something smart back when John appeared in the doorway. Why did he always have to look so hot when all he's wearing is his usual outfit? I got to stop doing that. He's just my friend. Stop thinking like that, Nicole.

I ran to him and gave him a hug, "Hey John!"

He hugged me back tighter, "Hey Nicole, how are you doing?"

I giggled lightly, "Randy just asked me that. I'm fine now that you guys are here. I'm glad you decided to come up."

"Don't thank me. It was all Randy's idea." John said. See, wasn't I right?

"I know." I smiled, "It's really lonely here without having someone around."

John dropped his bags beside Randy's. Then Randy asked, "Where are we sleeping anyway, Nick?"

"Well we do have a guest room so one of you can sleep in there. And the other one can sleep in the living room." When they both gave me a look, I said, "The couch pulls out into a bed."

"Oh" They both said. After awhile John said, "I'll take the living room."

"Fine with me." Randy smirked because he knew he got the better end of that. I rolled my eyes and smacked his arm, "Oww! What was that for?"

"For being an idiot." I answered while I heard John chuckle.

"Shut up, John." Randy pouted.

John laughed again, "She torched your ass!"

I giggled at him. He just quoted a line from Family Guy. He always makes me laugh when he does that. "So what do you two want to do? We could explore the city or go out to a club . . ." I started naming things that you could do in LA.

"Or," John started, "We could veg out for tonight and explore the city tomorrow."

"I like that idea best." Randy agreed.

I smiled at them. They were such lazy goofballs. "Fine. Well it's about 5 now. Do you want me to make some dinner now? Or do you want to eat later?"

"I would rather eat now so we can just watch movies without any interruptions. And plus I'm starving." Randy said when John nodded in agreement.

"Ok I'll get started." I said happily. "You guys can see if there are any movies on now or look at the DVD's while I cook dinner."

While they did that, I decided to make spaghetti and meatballs, Randy's favorite. I just had heated up the sauce and meatballs and I was boiling the noodles when John and Randy came in.

"Oh my god Nick, spaghetti is my favorite." Randy praised me.

I smiled, "I know. It's the only thing quick I could think of. Umm, John, can you please go get the garlic bread out of the freezer please?"

I heard him say sure. He set then on the counter while I got out the cookie sheet to heat them up on. I stuck them in the oven and they would be ready in a few minutes. I heard the beeping from the oven while I was mixing the sauce and noodles together.

"Hey would one of you get the garlic bread out of the oven before it burns?" I asked my two friends.

Randy spoke up, "I will."

I made us all a plate of spaghetti and Randy found a plate to put all of the garlic bread on. So we sat down at the table and began to eat,

"This is great, Nick." Randy complimented while he kept putting forkfuls of spaghetti in his mouth.

I giggled at him then turned to John, "Is it alright for you, John?"

"It's delicious." John got this sly grin on his face, "Mrs. Boyardee."

My face lit up when he said that. I can't believe he remembered that because that was so long ago. "Well Mr. Boyardee, you need to learn how to cook."

John and I just busted up laughing. Randy looked at the two of us, totally in confusion. "What the hell are you talking about?"

I smiled at Randy's face, "It's a little inside joke."

John smirked, "I guess we can let you in on it. One night we were over at my place and I woke up in the middle of the night because I was hungry. I didn't want to wake Nicole up so that she could make me something so I got up to see what we had to eat. Finally, I found something I could make, a can of ravioli."

Randy smirked back, "I think I know where this is going."

I giggled at Randy while John continued, "Well I put in a pan to heat it up. But then I hear Nicole come in the kitchen and asked what I was doing. Well . . . let's just say that she distracted me."

John winked at me when I blushed, "But suddenly we smelled smoke and then that's when I remembered the ravioli, I ran for it when I saw that the whole thing was on fire. I almost burned the whole place down."

Randy started laughing, "I could see you doing that, John. You can't cook at all."

After we shared a few more laughs, dinner was over. It was almost 7 so John and Randy went to turn on the movie while I would clean up a little bit. While I was cleaning, my thoughts drifted to earlier. I can't believe that he remembered all of that, I mean every single little detail.

His voice interrupted my thoughts, "Come on, Nicole. Let's get this movie started."

I yelled back, "I'm coming. Don't get your panties all in a bunch."

I walk in the living room with my bottle of water and hoped over the couch to plop down right in between Randy and John. "So what are we watching?"

"Jeez, you sure know how to make an entrance." Randy commented.

I rolled my eyes at him then looked at John, "What movie are we watching?"

"The Godfather." He answered.

I smiled, "Let me guess, you picked the movie, right?"

"What makes you think that?" John asked.

I gave him a look, "Umm, because the Godfather is one of your favorite movies."

I think he looked kind of shocked that I remembered one of his favorite things. I think tonight, we are both shocking each other with how much we remember.

He tried to hide his shock with a half smirk and said, "Ok you caught me."

"Can we watch the movie now?" Randy asked.

"Yeah." I smirked at him and turned on the movie myself. Let me just say that I don't really like this movie. The only time I have ever watched it was because John loves it. So I was kind of bored and after about 2 hours into the movie, I felt my eyes start to droop. Hey it's a 4 hour movie and I was really tired.

John noticed this and asked, "Are you tired?"

I nodded, "Yeah, just a little."

"Then drape your legs over me and use John as a pillow." Randy suggested, "You don't mind, do you John?"

John replied, "No, I don't mind at all."

Ok, to be perfectly honest, I was a little nervous. I guess I'm still a little bit hesitant when it comes to him. I mean this is the man that I love- loved, I meant loved and he means so much to me. even though we hug, we try to keep our physical contact to a minimal.

But I slid closer to John while Randy took my legs and draped them over his lap. I laid my head on John's stomach as he draped his arm over my shoulders. And let me just say that I felt so comfortable with him. I miss this truly. And this made me miss al the times where me and him could just lay beside each other forever if we had wanted to. I was so cuddly and comfortable that I just drifted off to dreamful sleep.

**2 Days Later**

I swear that I really needed these 2 days so far. It's been so much fun. Randy, John, and I went everywhere that you could think of LA and we had such a blast. And we still had another couple of days where we could just goof off.

Channing called me yesterday and I told him about Randy staying but not John. Well I told him that John was visiting but he was staying at a hotel. I know it's lying and it will probably come back to haunt me but I knew he would just flip out on me. He didn't even really like the idea of Randy staying at the apartment. Talk about being Mr. jealous fiancé.

But despite all that, do you want to know the best part about all of this? John and I act like I never left. It seemed like the timed when we first met and things weren't so complicated. I absolutely love that feeling.

Well now we were at my apartment and I was trying to make us some little ice cream sundaes. But John and Randy were making what seems like an easy into a hard one.

"Come on you two. You wanted these so much and you said you were hungry." I exclaimed but was smiling the whole time. The guys were threatening to squirt chocolate syrup all over the other. They act like children sometimes.

"Well he said that I was whipped." Randy accused.

"You are and you know it." John laughed.

Just then Randy's cell went off. "I'll be back. It is probably Sam."

"See that proves my point right there." John said. Randy glared ar him before walking out of the room to answer it.

I looked at John, "Ok, now are you going to help me here?"

He smiled, "Yeah."

So we put all the topping on the vanilla ice cream, chocolate and caramel syrup. The only thing left to add was the whipped cream. I put it on mine and Randy's while John put it on his own. He took the can and then a grin spread across his face.

"What are you smiling about?" I asked, smiling right back at him.

"Do you remember our whipped cream fights?"

I smiled so big, thinking about them, "Yeah. It always happened when we had some type of desert. And I do remember that I won every time we did."

"Oh really?" then John took the can and put some on my nose, "Now I win."

I looked at him, appalled, "But you know, you always had a way with cleaning it up."

I couldn't believe I just said that out loud. I mean that is me flirting with my ex and he knows it too. But I just can't help but think how close we are right now and how much I missed how he would give me those spine-tingling kisses that no one could ever top. And no one ever has.

John looked at me, "You mean, like this?" Then he leaned forward and kissed the whipped cream off of my nose. My heart instantly started to beat faster and I looked up to stare deep into his crystal blue eyes. There was so much sexual tension in the air that I just couldn't stand it anymore. I wanted to kiss him so much and I think he wanted to kiss me too. Our lips were inches from touching, thinking if we could really do this when we hear Randy come walking back in the kitchen.

"So guys I have—" he trails off when he sees us so John hurries and puts distance between us. Randy looked from one to the other, "What's going on?"

"Umm nothing, we just finished our sundaes so go ahead and dig in." I said a little distractedly. I trued to regain composure.

"Oh but I wanted to ask you something. It turns out that it was Sam and she is in LA. She wants me to go and spend the night with her. I told her ok, so is that alright?"

I hesitated for a second because I was trying to still catch my breath after what happened just minutes ago. Maybe I should have told Randy that it would be better if he stayed. And I kind of knew why Sam wanted him to stay with her. But I could see that he missed her so I agreed.

"Yeah go ahead, Rands. But come back sometime tomorrow with Sam and we'll go out." I suggested.

"Ok, you're the best, Nick." He hugged me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Within minutes, he was out the door and left John and I to ourselves.

"So what do you want to do?" I asked him.

"Well we could eat our sundaes first."

I giggled nervously, "Yeah, here you go."

I handed himj his bowel and we sat at opposite ends of the table. We just started eating our ice cream. I wasn't really hungry so I just ate it slowly. Then I felt John's gaze on me. But when I looked up, he put his head down. I wish I knew what he was thinking.

I was about to ask him when I heard 'It's All Over' by Three Days Grace begin to play. That meant that Channing was calling. So I told John I would be right back and went to go answer it.

"Hey baby." I greeted while walking into my bedroom.

"Don't you 'hey baby' me." Channing said angrily. Wow something is totally up. And it probably has something to do with me. "I know that this whole time, you have been fucking lying to me, Nicole."

"About what?" I asked confused. Even though I think I knew what he was talking about. No harm and acting all dumb about it.

"Oh come on, did you think I wouldn't find out?" Channing asked. "I know John is staying at OUR apartment with you and Randy."

I demanded, "And how do you know that?"

"It doesn't matter how I know. All that matters is that you lied to me. You should have told me the truth and not fucking lie to me. And I really don't want to have to worry about how you two are in the same building."

"Well what do you want me to do, Channing? I'm not going to just kick him out just because of your insecurities." I said right back angrily. He had the fucken gall to start shit.

"You know what, I got a movie to shoot and I can't take this. Why don't you give me a call when you're god damn serious about this relationship."

And he hung up on me. I was so angry that I threw my phone against the wall. Angry tears sprang to my eyes. Why does he have to be that way? It seems like I can't have any guy friends and he gets so pissed at me. I mean I know John is my ex and everything but Channing is even like that with Randy. I've been good to him except for the lying. But other than that I've never given him a reason not to trust me. he didn't have to fucken yell at me either. I started to cry but it was from mostly anger.

I heard a soft knock on the door. I didn't say anything so John just came walking through the doorway.

"Nicole, are you ok?" he asked softly, his voice full of concern. And it wanted me to cry even more. Even after all I've done to him, he still cares about me.

I wiped my eyes quickly, "Yeah, it's just my stupid fiancé. He can make me so mad sometimes. He makes something so small turn into something so big."

"Let me take a guess. He found out I'm staying here and he's pissed about it?" John sat down right beside me

I looked at him, wide eyed, "How did you--?"

"Nicole, we may not have seen each other in 2 years but I still know you better than anyone else." John explained.

I sighed, "I wish Channing was more like that."

"Like what?"

"Pay attention to the things that I like." I explained, "Like right before he left, he went out and got me breakfast which was sweet of him to do until I tasted the coffee. I told him before I don't like coffee only—"

"French vanilla cappuccinos." John answered for me.

I gave him a look but continued, "yeah, that. But am I just too petty when it comes to things like that?"

"No, I think I'm like that too. I expect Maria to remember stuff about me too. Like she doesn't even know that my favorite TV show is—"

"Family Guy." I answered. I knew that all to well because it was my favorite too.

He looked at me, "You remember all those things?"

"John come on. I still know you better than anyone else." I smiled a little. I looked away from him "But Channing is my fiancé. I know he doesn't even know my favorite color, movie, kind of music, or kind of jewelry."

Silence fell between us. John's gaze bore into me as I looked up to meet it. Then he began to speak, "So he doesn't know that you're favorite color is purple even though it's too girly for you. Or that you're favorite movie is Saw because you would choose horror flicks over chick ones any day. The only chick movie you like is Titanic . . ."

I was in complete shock but he went on, "Or that you even though you're a rocker chick through and through, you still love to listen to sappy love songs. You really are a romantic at heart and you're a sucker for them. Or that you hate the color gold so that's why you love white gold jewelry. You love silver but can't wear it because you're allergic so white gold is your favorite."

He remembered all of that. He paid attention to all the little things and still remembered after years later. My eyes started to fill with tears again. Guilt was washing over me again. I left the one true guy that has ever loved me for exactly the way I am and listened to everything I said. I'm such a bitch.

"Nicole?" John softly asked.

"Umm I need to go . . . uh . . . wash the bowls . . ." I sprang out of my seat beside him and went out to the kitchen. I hurriedly grabbed the bowls off the table and started to rinse the ice cream off of them. Tears fell down my cheeks.

Then I heard John come over and put his hand on my bare shoulder. I turned to look at him but I put my gaze back down to the bowls.

"I'm sorry, Nicole. Did I say something wrong?" He asked, genuinely concerned. When I shook my head, he asked, "Then what's wrong?"

I turned off the water then turned to face him, "It's just that all of this time I did feel guilty for leaving you. Don't get me wrong I always regretted that decision . . ." My voice cracked a little as I wiped the tears from under my eyes, "But I have never felt guilt so much that it has overwhelmed me so much like that. When you said all of that, it reminded me of what I gave up. I gave up the one person that truly loves me for me."

We didn't say anything for awhile. But then I saw his gaze fall on the white gold sapphire necklace he gave me for Christmas, "You still wear that?"

I nodded, "I never take it off."

He takes the locket in his hands and in the process brushes his fingers against my collarbone which sends my heart into a frenzy.

Then John opened it and said the most unbelievable thing, "That has never changed you know. No matter how much I've tried to deny it, you'll always have my heart. I know I still love you . . . Shorty."

Loves me? He still loves me. And he called me Shorty. I looked in his eyes and I know he's waiting for me to say something. Then I knew what I was going to say, "is it wrong to say that I want to kiss you right now?"

"I don't know." He nervously smirked. "I won't object if you do want to kiss me."

I smirked right back at him. I saw him slowly leaning down to me. I closed my eyes as our lips touched gently. I felt a jolt of electricity and passion instantly making me shiver. I pulled away quickly.

John's eyes snapped open, "What? Was that all wrong?"

I grinned at him, "You're such an idiot, JJ." I snaked my arms around his neck and sent his lips crashing into mine. He deepened the kiss eagerly as I kissed him with all the hunger I felt with his kisses. His hands were at the back of my head and as the kisses grew more deeper and passionate, he lifted me up as I wrapped my legs around his waist; his hands holding me up.

He broke away for a second, "Where?" He asked breathlessly.

"The guest room.' I said back hurriedly. I began to kiss him again. My head was swooning and it felt like fireworks were going off in my head. He carried me to the guest room as we both fell on the bed. We still were kissing each other so much that I think somehow it was to make up for lost time together. We started heavily making out and shedding our clothing but when we got to his pants, he pulled away from me.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked looking deep into my eyes.

"You're seriously asking me that? Of course I do." I went to kissing his neck.

But then he asked, "This isn't just to get back at Channing, is it?"

I stopped and looked deeper in his eyes. The thought never crossed my mind. "No JJ, this isn't just to get back at him. I still love you. So I just don't care anymore, I want you."

I seemed to clear all his doubt away with that answer. Granted, I was half naked when I said it and I believe even if I said it was to get back at Channing he would have still continued with me. The truth is I really don't care. I don't care that I was going to have to deal with this in the morning or any of the consequences. I know cheating is wrong but how could something so wrong, feel so right?

**Next Chapter: What are Nicole and John reactions the next morning when the wake up? Are they finally going to be together again?**


	6. Secret Relationship

**Thanks to_ foolishangel87_, _Randy4ever_, _DarkAngelofDrkness09_, _Rickster627_, _CenaFan1395_, _CraftyTink529_, _Leslove4me_, _Silbermond096_, and _mcena99_ for the reviews. That's another 9 reviewsm guys!! Keep it up. I want to hit 100 reviews at least once lol. **

**Well sorry about the long wait for this but I was really busy but here you go. Read and review and enjoy!!**

**Oh and I'm going to dedicate this chapter to Randy Orton. I heard he got in a motorcycle accident but thankfully he didn't get seriously hurt. Get well soon Randy!**

**Chapter 6: **_Secret Relationship_

I woke up the next morning around 5:30. I sat up a little but then I felt like I could hardly move. I look over sleepily to see two big, strong arms that were wrapped around my bare wait. I thought for sure that last night had been some wonderful dream but then I saw John sleeping soundly beside me and I knew then that it wasn't. He looked so peaceful and I wanted to give him a kiss on the lips but I refrained from doing that. I wanted to be alone for a minute.

I rolled out of bed, carefully so that I wouldn't wake him and I slipped on my bra and underwear while also throwing on a robe. I went out to make a pot of coffee so that I could mix some of my French vanilla mix into it. After I made myself a cup, I went and sat on our balcony. I had to think. It must have been about 6 a.m. because the sun was starting to rise. I was so involved with my thoughts that I failed to notice that John had woken up and walked out on the balcony also.

"Hey Shorty, what are you doing out here?" He asked roughly which meant that he had just woken up probably about a couple of minutes ago.

I looked up and smiled, "Hey JJ. Nothing really just watching the sunrise . . . do you want to watch it with me?"

"Sure." He smiled back at me. I got up while he sat down on the lounge chair I was in and gestured for me to sit in his lap. I did and cuddled up against him. He wrapped his arms protectively around me and we watched the sunrise. It was so pretty especially when you can overlook the beach like where I live. I looked at John and realized that I missed moment like these so much. I wish we could stay like this forever.

John kissed the top of my head, "You know, I missed moments like these. With just me and you."

I looked up and said, "Me too, even though it was mostly sunsets we watched because we were so lazy to get up in the morning."

He smirked, "Yeah, you're right."

We watched the rest of the sunrise together in silence and I stayed cuddled up to him. Not wanting to ever leave his side and I don't want to really talk. But after awhile John spoke.

"You know, I thought it was all a dream. Because when I woke up, you were gone. I just thought it was one of those tantalizing type of dreams. But then I saw you out here and I just knew it wasn't."

I looked up again, "I thought it was one too. But when I woke up and saw you next to me, I realized it wasn't. It was real."

We sat there a little longer, afraid to ask the question that we knew needed answered. But I got the courage to ask it, "So what happens now?"

John thought for a minute then said, "I don't know. Do you want this to continue?"

I nodded, "Of course, I just can't ignore the fact that I still love you and want to be with you . . . but I just don't know how I can break up with Channing."

"Well you could not tell him until you're ready . . . and we could keep the relationship a secret from everyone else."

I sat up when I heard that idea. Was he really saying what I think he is saying? "You are willing to share me until I can figure out how to break up with him?"

He cupped me face in his hands, "I'll admit, I'm willing to do it but I hate the thought of it. But now that I have you in my life again, Shorty, I don't want to lose you."

He leaned in to kiss me but then I asked, "What about Maria?"

He stopped and pulled back a little. He looked deep into my light blue eyes, "Oh yeah . . . well are you willing to share me until I can figure it out?"

I'll admit I hated it too. I mean who would like it? This was the guy that I was so in love with and no way was I willing to share him. But if he was willing to share me until I could figure it out, then I could.

"Yeah I think I can do it but I hate it just as much as you hate it . . ." I replied, "but like you said, I have you back and no way I'm letting you get away from me."

he gave me such a sweet kiss that I felt like I was going to melt. God, how and why did I ever leave him? After he pulled away, he got up and stood beside the lounge chair as I was looking up at him.

"I'd say it is about 7 now. Do you want to go out and get some breakfast?"

I smiled, "Sounds good to me."

Then John hurriedly scooped me up bridal style. He did it so fast that it startled me. I giggled happily while he carried me into the apartment and went towards the spacious bathroom.

"JJ, what are you doing?" I laughed.

"I thought we could celebrate a little before we go to breakfast. We still got lots of time." He smirked slyly.

I smirked back at him, "Couldn't get enough of me last night?"

He put me on my feet as he came into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. The he looked at me seriously in the eyes, "Shorty, we could do it nonstop for a lifetime and I still wouldn't get enough of you."

I looked into his crystal blue eyes. In a crude sort of way, that was so sweet. Channing never said things like that. That is why I know that I'm in love with John and not my fiancé. I threw my arms around John's neck a laid one of the most passionate kisses I have ever given on his lips. And we went on to 'celebrate' the rest of the morning.

**4 Hours Later**

John and I just had got back from breakfast. Well actually it was more like lunch. Anyway we were laughing so hard about a family guy scene that we tried to reenact. We do really act like a bunch of immature teenagers but that's one of the millions of things that I love about him.

"You do such a good impression of Lois." John commented while he was grinning.

I smiled, "I know."

We always have a blast when we hang out together. We never run out of things to talk about and we could talk to each other all day if we had the chance. I think we have such a good time because we have the same sense of humor. Channing would never get half of the things that we say to each other. He really is my best friend and now he is my lover, who is the sweetest and hottest man to ever walk this earth. Of course I don't tell him that or it might swell his head up even more.

I kiss him which takes him by surprise but he returned it. We pull away, "What was that for?"

"I don't know . . . I just had to do it." I answered.

He looked at me, deep in my eye and said, "I love you, Shorty."

"I love you too, JJ." I said confused. Now it was my turn to ask that question, "What was that for?"

"I don't know . . . I just had to do it." He smirked at me while I stuck my tongue at him for mocking me. But then he turned serious again, "I just want to make sure that you know that I really love you . . . I don't want you to think that this was just a fling to me. I really want to be with you."

I looked deep in his eyes. He honestly thought that I didn't believe him. If I didn't believe him now, I surely believed him now. Now that I'm for certain, I just fell more in love with him.

"JJ that thought never crossed my mind. I love you so much so I never thought that all of this was a lie. I trust you . . ." I replied, "Do you trust me?"

John took me in his arms and said, "Of course I do."

His lips captured mine in a passionate embrace. I wrap my arms around his neck as our kisses grew more and more deeper. We began to move around but then I ran into the kitchen table. John didn't seem to care where we were and I didn't either. All I wanted was him to just take me in his arms and feel alive again. His hand was traveling under my shirt when there was a knock at the door.

We stopped what we were doing and hurriedly got off the table. John quickly whispered, "Who could that be?"

"I don't know." I whispered back to him. I was fixing my hair and the bottom of my shirt, "But let's find out."

There was another knock so I hurried up and answered the door. It revealed Randy with Samantha at his side. I let out a small sigh of relief and smiled.

I gave Randy a quick hug, "Hey Rands." Then I turned to Sam, "Oh my god, Sam! It's been awhile."

Samantha gave me an excited hug, "I know! It's been awhile!

"Well come on in, guys." I stepped aside as Sam and Randy greeted John, who I saw also breathed a sigh of relief.

"So what were you two up to before we showed up?" Sam asked.

I almost blushed but held it back. "Nothing much. We just got back from lunch so we don't know what we are going to do yet."

"Well good. Let's go out to the beach, Nicole." Samantha suggested, "Do you boys want to come?"

Randy and John both nodded, "Yeah we'll go with you." Randy answered his girlfriend.

"Ok, we'll be right back, babe." Sam kissed Randy quickly and grabbed my hand as we went into the bedroom to get changed.

We came out about 10 minutes, all ready to go. The guys were all ready to go too. John just had on a gray wife beater and black swimming trunks. He looked so hot but I couldn't say anything like that. I was now starting to see the downside of having a secret relationship. I looked at Randy and he was looking hot as well. He had on a plain dark blue t-shirt and white trunks. All I can say is, Sam is one lucky bitch to have a guy like Randy.

Anyway, us two were dressed the complete opposite. Sam is a girly girl through and through. She was wearing a pink bikini with white polka dots and wore a pink top with white shorts over the bikini. Where as I was wearing just a plain black bikini and had on a black tank top with a white long beach skirt. I saw John checking me out but it wasn't so subtle like when I did it. Luckily, Sam or Randy didn't seem to notice. I was going to tease him a little.

"Ok let's head on out." John said. I slipped on my black flip flops and we all headed out to the beach. We decided to walk because the beach was only a little bit away. Randy and Sam were walking side by side so John and I fell behind.

He whispered to me, "You look beautiful, Shorty."

I smiled really big. He always seemed to sneak things like that in every once in awhile. I looked to make sure Sam or Randy wasn't looking so I gave John a quick peck on the lips, "Thanks JJ. But you go to quit checking me out or should I say ogling at me."

"Oh yeah, like you weren't earlier?" John smirked while I stuck my tongue out at him, "But I'll try to keep it more subtle, ok?"

"Ok." I said and then we arrived at the beach. We found a spot almost immediately and Sam and I settled ourselves, putting the towels over the hot sand. I put my sunglasses on my head and lifted the shirt off me. Then I took off my beach skirt and laid it beside me. I felt eyes on me so I stole a look at John. His eyes were glued to me . . . so much for being subtle. But what confused me was that I felt another pair of eyes on me. I looked and saw that Randy's eyes were also glued to me. I saw Samantha wasn't looking so I shot Randy a look and he hurriedly looked away. That was strange.

All of our thoughts were interrupted with Sam saying, "So what do you three want to do first?"

Taking my thoughts away from the confusion with Randy, I answered my friend, "Well I'm going to relax in the sun for a little bit and then we'll just go from there."

"Sounds good to me." She smiled.

The boys decided to go in the water and wrestle around. They threw off their shirts and hopped in the ocean. We girls just relaxed until Samantha kept firing questions at me.

"How is engaged life, Nicole?"

I shrugged, "It's not much different from dating."

"Well is Channing the one?"

"One what?"

I knew she rolled her eyes at me, "Come on, Nicole, the one. The one who you want to spend the rest of your life with. The one who you are meant to be with . . . well is he?"

What could I say to that? I know who the one for me is. John. But I couldn't tell her that. And I think I kind of got the idea why she was asking all of these questions. Randy had been telling me that he thinks Samantha wants him to propose to her already. She had been dropping hints to him but Randy didn't know if he was ready just yet to ask her to marry him. Thankfully the boys joined us so I didn't have to answer. Thank God.

Randy sat by his girlfriend and John came to sit by me. He was soaked head to toe. He gave me a smile as I smiled back at him.

"What were you talking about?" He asked.

I shrugged, "Just girl things. Did you have a nice swim?"

"It was ok." He looked at the couple beside us and saw that they were talking to themselves. He stated tracing his fingers over my stomach. Ok, he really has got to stop doing that! He's making me so hot right now and this is all supposed to be a secret. If he keeps it up, I'll have to pull him to one of the closets they have here and have my way with him. "But I think you should come and swim too . . ."

"John . . ." I said sternly and grabbed his hand. I put our hands between us but still held on to his hand. "You need to stop."

He looked at me 'innocently', "What? I'm not doing anything . . . am I?"

I glared at him, "You know what you're doing, John Felix Anthony Cena."

He smirked at my use of his full name, "Well I think a Miss Nicole Elizabeth Massaro needs cooled down now."

"Don't you dare." I warned him, narrowing my eyes.

But I was too late. He scooped me up as I was kicking and screaming at him playfully. But I was no match for him. Sam and Randy looked at us and just began to laugh. He walked in the water and dropped me so I went all the way under water. I came up and I heard him laughing. I shot him one of my death glares. But I went up to him and surprised him when I was able to dunk him underwater. He came up looking angry but I knew he was just playing so I just smiled at him. He smirked evilly and then came at me again while I tried to get away from him.

After 5 minutes, both of us soak and wet, we went back to the other couple. Sam smiled and shook her head, "Are you two done? Because we were going to get something to eat."

I giggled lightly, "Yeah let's go." And we all gathered our stuff and went to go get something to eat.

**Next Chapter: John and Nicole spend the rest of the couple days together and finally it's the day for Nicole to make her return. John can't hang out with her that day so her and Randy decide to hang out together. But Randy starts acting strange and won't tell her why. Nicole is worried about it and wonders why her best friend can't tell her. Also Nicole gets a surprise visit from someone she never thought was going to be there. **


	7. Completely Confused

**Thanks to _DarkangelofDrkness09_, _RKO.I.F_., _Rickster627_, _CraftyTink529_, _CenaFan1395_, _mcena99_, _foolishangel87_, _whitegraywolf_, _makeitreal12_, and _alethea293_ for the reviews. Woo 10 reviews!! Lol I'm happy and thank you huys so much. You guys rock as always. I'm glad you like the story and some of you are already guessing what's going to happen. I'm not saying nothing lol so you'll have to wait to find out.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last one so please enjoy!! And read and review lol**

**Chapter 7: **_Completely Confused_

**2 Days Later**

I can't believe that the time has finally come. I'm finally going to go back out there and do something that I love. I just hope that the fans haven't forgotten about me. that's my worst fear, you know?

John is so excited for me. For the past couple of days, he has been helping me get back into wrestling shape. I'm only making an appearance tonight because I still need to get in shape for wrestling. John and I have been having the best, last couple of days together. We hung out with Randy and Sam a little but I loved the times that we got to spend time alone. It just feels so wonderful and it feels like old times.

Hey I know it's wrong what John and I do but you know what? I really don't care what people think if they would know. I just can't help myself and I know that he can't either. He's like a drug to me. I can't live without him even if I wanted to.

I haven't heard from Channing ever since that fight that we had over the phone. Maybe he won't forgive me so breaking up with him would be so much easier. Yeah right . . . when has my life ever been easy?

Take now, for an example if you will. It's in the afternoon and I'm stuck at my apartment alone for at least an hour. You want to know where John's at? He's with fucking Maria. She called earlier today and was whining that she missed him and wanted to spend some time with him. He reluctantly agreed so I have to wait and see him later tonight. This set up really fucking sucks. I know I'm being selfish right now but I really don't give a shit. I just want him to be with me right now.

Well it thought if I can't hang with John then I could with Randy. I haven't seen him much since Samantha decided to come up and visit. But he told me that he and Sam were spending the afternoon together before she has take off again. He'll come by after she leaves though but that still isn't for another hour.

So to pass the time, I gave my sister Ashley a call. I talked to her for just a little bit because she and Matt were in the middle of things. I was just glad to talk to her. I miss her like a lot. After we talked for almost an hour and hung up with each other, there was a knock at the door. I hurriedly answered the door.

"Rands!" I squealed, smiling. I gave him a big hug. He smiled also as we let go.

"Hey Nick," He greeted back, "How are you?"

"Really bored now actually. I just got done talking to Ashley so you came at the right time." I explained, "I'm glad you came . . . we haven't got to hang out alone together since you and John got here."

He nodded, "Yeah, I know."

And that was all he said. He looked like he wanted to say more but he just looked away from me. Something serious must be up. I guide him over to sit on the couch with me and I turn to look at him as his gaze had finally met mine. "What's wrong, Rands?"

He looks away from me again and says, "Nothing Nick, just forget about it."

I study him carefully. "Rands, I know when something is going on with you . . ." I take in a breath and then he turns to look at me again, "Is it Samantha?"

Hurt and pain flashed through his piercing blue eyes. He quickly looks to the floor. He says quietly, "I think she's going to leave me, Nick."

I immediately snap to attention. Samantha and Randy are on the rocks? I never even saw it between them when they were here. They seemed like they were perfect. I look at him and he seems so torn up inside and so distraught. It breaks my heart to see my best friend in so much pain, "Why? You guys seem like you were working out all right."

He shakes his head, "Look, like I said before, just forget about it. I don't want to talk about it."

I look at him, "Look Rands—" I reach out, putting my hand on his shoulder. He shoots out of his seat and stares at me.

"I don't want to talk about it, ok? Let's just drop it, please." Randy said quickly. He is definitely keeping something from me. I just can't understand why he is acting this way. When he has a problem, he always and I mean always tells me. Why is he keeping it from me?

I nod anyway, "Ok, I'm sorry. I won't say anything more about it."

Silence falls between us. He's not looking at me; he's looking at the ground. He's acting so strange. I can see why he is so tense because of the whole Samantha situation. But he has never acted that out towards me. He always tells me what's wrong so that I can help him through it. He and Sam have their share of problems, every couple does, and I've been there every time that he has needed me. Why is it that I can't help him through this?

Finally, he turns to me and says, "Why don't we just go on up to the arena? John and Maria should be there and you can go get reacquainted with everyone else . . ."

Ok this is starting to make me really angry. The Randy I know would want us to hang together alone as long as possible. But right now, I'm getting the feeling that he doesn't even want to be around me. What the fuck did I do?

"Fine." I said a little coldly. He's really being a dick to me. He deserves nothing from me if he's going to treat me like that . . .

He goes out to the car as I get ready to go. Why is he acting like this? What did I ever do to him to make him want to treat me like this?

I walk out to the care and the car ride is silent. He doesn't even look at me once. I know Randy is known for his temper but he never took his temper out on me. Because I was always the one that they would call so that he would calm down. So why is this time any different? What has him so worked up that he can't even stand to look at me?

Finally we arrive at the arena and we say our hurried goodbyes. I got in the women's locker room and I wonder of I'm worrying to much. I might be but it simply just puzzles me so much. But I realized that this was my night tonight and I wouldn't let him get to me. After I put my stuff on the floor, I saw one of my good friends, Candice, come running towards me.

"Nicole!" She squealed.

I smiled excitedly, "Hey Candy!"

We gave each other a hug. "'m so glad you're back! Maria is a great girl and al but she just won't shut up about John.

My interest instantly perked up, "Really? Like what things does she say?"

"Oh just stupid shit." Candice rolled her eyes.

I just smirked. Maria really was a dumb ass. Anyway, Candice and I left for catering. We talked about anything and everything. I missed talking to her like this. Well about an hour later, we saw John and Maria come walking into catering also. They were holding hands while Maria was talking excitedly to John.

I saw John's face light up when he saw me. I smiled and winked over at him. He smiled right back and I think Maria thought he was smiling at her. He led Maria over to us, "Hey Candice, hey Nicole."

"Hey John and Maria!" Candice greeted back, "When did you guys get here?"

"A little bit ago actually. John and I just had so much fun at the park, didn't we?" Maria turned to John who was looking at me.

He hurriedly turned to her and replied distractedly, "Yeah the best." When we saw the girls go into mindless chatter, I looked at John and mouthed, "I missed you."

He shot a glance at the two divas before mouthing back to me, "I missed you too."

I felt so good right now. If only we could get rid of Maria. I heard Candice say, "Maria we have to go get ready for our tag match tonight."

Ding-ding we have a winner. I could literally kiss Candice right now. Maria pouted but agreed, "Ok, I'll see you later Johnny." She leant up and gave him a kiss on the lips. I swear that bitch is lucky that I'm not in the mood to knock her teeth down her throat.

"Are you coming with us, Nick?" Candice asked.

I shook my head and thought of something quick. "You go ahead. I have to go visit Randy for a little bit and if I have time, I'll come find you."

Candice smiled and nodded. Maria blew a kiss to John before they left. I rolled my eyes but smirked at him, "She's really possessive of you, isn't she?"

John nodded, "Yeah, but it's only because you're here. She doesn't do it any other time, trust me."

I wanted to say something smart back but everyone in catering was listening so I said, "Oh I see."

"Well let's go meet up with Orton." John suggested. I agreed and together we acted like we left to go to Randy's locker room. We were walking down a deserted hall way when John asked, "Are we really going to meet up with Orton?"

I looked at him and shook my head, "No, that is if you want to. But I don't think he wants to see me right now . . ."

"Why not?"

I shrugged my shoulders sadly, "I don't know. He's just not in a very good mood I guess. I think we should just leave him alone."

John looked at me and I know he knows that I'm not telling him everything. But he can see that I don't want to talk about it either. I love him so much for that. "Ok then let's just go to mine."

I smiled and nodded. We headed to his locker room, talking just some small talk. We went in and sat on the couch together to watch TV.

I cuddled up to him as we watched it together. My thought drifted back to the situation with Randy. It really upset me and I don't even know why. Through the 2 years I went through without John, he was the one that I could count on. He was the one that would calm me down when I thought that I was such a worthless bitch.

He didn't just blame for the whole John thing; he actually listened to my side of the story. He was the only that didn't shun me at one point because believe me, everyone else did. When Channing and I had those fights where I just couldn't stand to be around him, Randy always had me go stay at his place for awhile even though he wasn't there. He nursed and mended my broken heart. He also gave me the determination to come back and pushed John and I back together.

I cuddled closer to John as he shifted a little but settled. I had to talk to Randy . . . I just had to. I had to find out what was going on. But I sat up to look at the time and realized that it was almost 7 and I had to go get ready for the show. I looked over at John and saw he was sleeping, his arm draped over me. He looked so adorable that I didn't want to wake him. But I knew he would be mad if I didn't.

I gave him a sweet kiss on the lips. He started to slowly open his eyes. "I'm sorry, Shorty . . . I shouldn't have dozed off."

"No it's ok. You should be well rested for your match tonight." I smiled at him, "I'm glad at least I got to cuddle with you."

He looked at the clock and said, "Well you don't have to leave for 5 more minutes, right?"

"Yeah . . ." I questioned. Then he wrapped his arms around me and gave a go-weak-in-the-knees kind of kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer until there was literally no space between us. Oh my god I was in heaven and it made me forget all about the confusion with Randy. we made out the whole 5 minutes and a little bit more over until he finally pulled away.

"I should go." I utter breathlessly.

He smiled, "Yeah go ahead. And if I don't see you before you go on, good luck. But I will try to come and visit."

I looked up in his eyes, "I love you, JJ."

He kissed me on the forehead and said back, "I love you too, Shorty."

I smiled and gave him a peck on the lips before I left. I hurried to the diva locker room but as I opened the door, I crashed into another body. We both fell to the ground and looked over to see the women's champion, Mickie James. Now Mickie and I have always had a hate for each other so I was expecting her to freak out on me.

"Are you ok?" I heard her ask while we were slowly getting up.

"Yeah, how about you?" I asked back. Why was she being so nice to me?

"Fine thanks." She looked at me, "You look really familiar to me. Are you new here?"

That was it. She didn't recognize me. But I know as soon as I say my name, she'll turn into a bitch. "Well technically I am new. But we do know each other. Mickie, it's me Nicole."

"As in Nicole Massaro?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

But she looked at me with a concerned face. Wow this is confusing me to no extent, "Are you back? I didn't know if you would have ever come back since well you know."

"I decided that I just couldn't stay away. So here I am." I explained while Mickie nodded. "Umm I don't want to be a bitch or anything but why are you being so nice to me?"

Mickie smiled, I know, it's a little weird. But I have grown up a lot in 2 years. And I realized that it was so stupid at the way I hated you. Oh and I'm sorry for the whole Randy—"

I interrupted, "Its ok. It's not even worth mentioning."

She nodded but continued, "But I realized that I just hated you because you had John and I have wanted him for a long time. But I changed after I saw you two together. Now that was the only couple that I was ever envious of."

I blushed, "Yeah I get that from everyone."

"Sorry, didn't mean to embarrass you."

"No it's ok." I waved it off. "It's nice to know that I can cross an enemy off of my list."

She laughed, "Yeah well I got to get going but I'll see you around."

"Yeah definitely." I waved to her. Maybe having Mickie as a friend wouldn't be so bad. I walked in the locker room and jumped in the shower. I hurried up and dressed in a pink and black plaid mini skirt with a black top that plunged down my neckline and it was tied in the front so that it fully exposed my abdomen. I put on smoky eye shadow and curled my hair. Last I put on my black wrestling boots and my black fingerless gloves.

It was 8:45 until I was finally satisfied with how I looked. Candice complimented me and I thanked her. I slipped my engagement ring off and stuck it in my bag. I had to look available. I told Candice I would be right back and I walked to catering to get a drink of water.

With some frustration with the vending machine, I finally got my water. I took a sip and took a look around. Most of the people I saw were some rookie wrestlers and crew members who were eyeing me up creepily. Then my eyes took me to look at the Legend Killer.

His eyes were glued to me but he tried to act like he wasn't looking at me. Maybe this was the time that I should talk to him. So I started my way towards him but then I saw Candice come walking over.

"Nicole, come one. There is a huge surprise waiting for you in our locker room!!" Candice squealed excitedly.

"Can't it—" But I didn't have time to say anything else as she pulled me to the door. I took one last look at Randy before I was pulled away. I wanted to talk to him so bad but I guess that would have to wait.

When we were outside the women's locker room door, I asked her, "What is this about Candice?"

"This!" then she opened the door and in the locker room revealed my fiancé, Channing. Holy shit, I wasn't expecting that!

**Next Chapter: Nicole decides to forgive her fiancé. She finally makes her return to Raw! Channing took a few days off for her so the spend a couple of days together. Will Nicole finally be able to break it off with him? But when she gets back to the gang, Randy tells her something that Nicole can't believe and it upsets her so much.**


	8. The Other Woman?

**Thanks to _RKO.I.F_, _Rickster627_, _CraftyTink529_, _mcena99_, _DarkAngelofDrkness09_, _CenaFan1395_, _foolishangel87_, and _whitegraywolf_ for the reviews. Another 8 reviews! Thank you so much! I love that you guys love this story and hooked. You finally know for sure what is going on with Randy so give me comments on what you think about that..**

**On a sad note I want to dedicate this chapter to John Cena for a speedy recovery. I hope he pulls through surgery all right and he's in my prayers. I hope he comes back to doing something he loves and I hope he knows that we all miss him!**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 8: **_The Other Woman?_

Why in the fuck was Channing here? The last time that we talked, he fucking hung up on me. I saw he was holding a bouquet of red roses which he actually remembers that they are my favorite. I don't know what he expects me to say to him. I just hope he figures out that he's not going to be forgiven that easily.

"What are you doing here?" I finally managed to ask him.

Channing come towards me and looks me in the eye. "Well I know we haven't talked since that time we fought over the phone and I'm really sorry for the things that I said. I know you're serious about this relationship. I've realized that I love you more than anything, Nicole. I love you so can you please be able to forgive me?"

Look I know all the bad things that I do behind his back would make you people think that I don't love Channing. I do love him but it's just not the same as the love I have for John. John makes me feel like I can do anything and he believes in me. It just feels right when I'm with him . . . like that is the way it's supposed to be. Anyway I just thought I would clear that up for you.

"Channing, do you really think flowers are going to change anything?" I asked. He really needed to hear this. And I was still not sure of what I was going to say so I guess it was like word vomit. "First you don' want to support me when I want to come back to the WWE. Then you practically accuse me of sleeping with my ex." I know I am but moving on, moving on. "That's all going to take a lot more than a sorry excuse for an apology."

He hung his head, "I know. But how about this as being a little more. I took a couple of days off from filming and I'm willing to talk this through with you. And I came here today because I have finally realized how important this stuff is to you." He looked back in my eyes and grabbed my hand, "I really want to make this work, Nicole."

After about 5 minutes of thinking and looking at him, I finally nodded, "Ok Channing, I forgive you. But you're on probation."

He pulled me into a hug, "Thanks Nicole . . . I love you, baby."

I smiled a little, "I love you too."

I saw Candice smiling, "Come on Maria. Let's go leave these two alone . . . good luck tonight, Nicky."

"Thanks Candy. I'll see you later." I gave her a hug before they left. I turned to Channing and gave him a kiss on the lips. He smiled but then spoke up for a second.

"Hey, why don't you have your engagement ring on?"

I looked down at my bare ring finger and then looked back at Channing, "I have to, babe. I have to make it look like I'm available."

He wrapped his arms around my bare waist, "You know, I really don't like the idea of every guy in the whole building thinking that they can fuck my fiancée."

I gave him a look, "Channing, please don't start with me. This night is very important to me . . . ok?"

He put his hands on my shoulders, "You're right, I'm sorry. But still—"

He didn't get to go on his jealousy rant any longer because I saw John come walking through the door. I love his timing and boy do I love just to see him.

"John!" I ran for him, away from my jealous fiancé. I gave John a big hug and I whispered in his ear that Channing was here. He nodded slightly and winked at me. "Hey Nicole, just thought that I would drop by to make sure you didn't need any help with anything before you went on."

I smiled, "Aww thanks John. But I think I got it thanks." I paused and winked at him. Then I remembered that Channing was still there. I swear if he wasn't there, I would give John proper thanks. God I can be such a bitch sometimes. "Oh John, I forgot that you never actually met my fiancé, Channing Tatum. Channing, this is John Cena, one of my very best friends."

Channing came over sand put a protective arm around my waist. He looked at John's hand for a second but politely shook it, "Hi Cena. Glad to finally meet you."

I felt Channing's arm tighten around my waist. I could tell that Channing was intimidated by John. I mean who wouldn't be? John is massive and so hot. Not that Channing isn't, it's just John is way more built than he is. John looked up in Channing's face and said, "Likewise."

Oh my god, this is so awkward. I could tell that John was way uncomfortable because I mean I always feel that way when I see him and Maria together. I can't help but give him a sympathetic look. Then for some reason, my fiancé breaks the silence. "So Cena, how long have you been in the WWE?"

"I would say a little over 6 years." He said cautiously.

I looked and Channing and was wondering what he was up to. He was just looking at John, "So you have never had a real actual job before?"

John narrowed his eyes, "I think I would count this as an actual job."

"Yeah I guess, you could." I nudged Channing a little, telling him to back off. But then he said, "So it's true that you and my fiancée here dated for awhile?"

What the hell is he doing? John shot a look at me but then hurriedly back at him and answered, "Yeah, that's true . . ."

I took this as my time to speak up, "Well I should go. Thanks for stopping by, John."

He looked at me and smiled, "No problem and good luck, Sho—Nicole."

That was close. He almost slipped that one up. I could Channing didn't really notice, he was too bust staring at John. Ok, enough already. Channing said, "Wait a minute, since you have to go babe, I would like a little tour of the place before I have to go find my seat. Hey Cena, you don't mind do you?"

John looked at me confuse but then back at him, "Sure umm ok . . ."

This wasn't good. I know Channing is up to something. "Channing . . ."

"It's ok babe. I'll see you after you go on." He gave me a quick kiss on the lips. "I love you, baby."

I looked at him and tied not to notice John there, "I love you too."

Then they both left. I could only imagine what Channing was up to. I just hope he doesn't do anything too stupid. John looked a little pissed before they left. I think it was because we kissed but hey this is all part of the plan. I made my way to the gorilla position and waited for my cue. I am so nervous. as I try to calm them, I see Randy walking down the hall.

Maybe he's coming to wish me luck. But I see his eyes are to the floor. I keep looking at him to see if he will look up. He doesn't, just walks right past me and doesn't say a word to me. I've had enough of this.

I yell, "Randy!"

He looks up at the sound of his voice. Our eyes lock for a minute but the he quickly says, "I have to go, Nicole. Good luck."

Then he walks away from me. Doesn't he realize that he is really hurting me? Is he doing it on purpose? I never could tell him this but besides John, I really need to have him in my life. It seems like he's trying to shut me out and I just can't figure out why. Why can't he see that it's hurting me that he's treating me like this?

I push those thought from my mind as I here my cue. I walk out to the sold out arena . . .

**Meanwhile-Third POV**

Randy walked down to his locker room so he could make a quick call to his girlfriend. He hated the way he acted towards Nicole but he felt like he had to. He dialed the number and she picked up.

"Hey Randy." Samantha greeted rather glumly. He didn't blame her. This was such a hard thing to go through especially for her.

"Hey babe. How are you?" he asked.

He heard her sigh on the other end, "You know how I am, Randy. I just want to know who she is."

Randy shook his head, "Sam, I can't tell you."

"Why not? I think you owe me that much. I have the right to know the mane of the woman that you have feelings for, besides me." Sam paused for a second and he just knew that it was coming. "Randy . . . do you want to be with me?"

Randy quickly said, "Of course I do. I love you so much, Sam."

"Well prove it. I want to sever all ties that you have with her."

He sighed. He knew it. "I don't know if I can . . ."

"Randy, I know that you didn't actually do anything wrong. But I think it's worse if you have feelings for someone else rather than just sleep with some random girl. I just can't be with you if you have feelings for someone else." Sam explained, "I love you a lot, Randy. So please, will you do this?"

Randy thought about it. Then said, "Ok, Sam. I'll tell her the first time I get a chance."

"Thanks Randy . . . I love you."

"I love you too, Sam." Then he hung up the phone. God he had no idea how he was going to break it to her. He knew she would be so upset. He didn't tell Samantha that he had fallen in love with this woman. He knew that she was even clueless herself. But when he looked at it, he knew that they could never be together. So he was just going to stay with Sam. It's was just going to be so hard to tell her that they couldn't be best friends anymore.

**Back to Nicole's POV**

Oh my god, everyone was cheering for me. Well I got attacked by Melina and Beth Phoenix but other than that it was all good. Mickie came out and helped me. We decided to hang out sometime. Well after I got back I decided to go visit John real quick because I knew that Channing wouldn't be allowed backstage until after the show was over. I had to tell John that I had to stay in LA for at least a couple days. He wasn't going to be too happy to say the least.

I knocked on his door and he opened it, "Hey John."

"Hey Nicole." He said smiling, "Do you want to come in?"

I nodded as he let me in. he shut the door quickly as we went and sat down on the couch. He spoke up first, "Great job tonight, Shorty."

"Thanks JJ." I said happily. "I just remembered. What did Channing want?"

John smirked but shook his head, "Nothing important. I wasn't really listening to him."

I smirked back, "Ok. Well I have some news that you might not like."

"What news is that?"

"Well Channing took a couple of days off from filming so since we don't have a house show until Wednesday, I'm staying in LA for a couple more days." I told the former WWE Champion.

I saw him frown a little, "You mean, I won't get to see you at all? That really sucks, you know that Shorty."

I couldn't help but smile. It feels good to be wanted let me tell you. I scooted closer to him and say, "I know it sucks. But I'll be back on Wednesday in time for the house show. And if you can get rid of Maria for the night, I promise I'll make it up to you."

"Oh really." He smiled happily. I put my hands to his neck and pull him into a soft kiss. He gently pulled me into his lap and kissed me deeper. My head started to swoon and my heart began to beat rapidly. There's nothing I wanted to do more that just stay locked in this embrace for the rest of the night. John began to play with the bottom of my shirt and I knew he wanted to. But reality set in with me and I realized I had to go get dressed.

I reluctantly pulled away from his embrace, "JJ as much as I hate to cut this short, I do have to go."

He looked at me, sighed slightly, and said, "Alright, see you on Wednesday. I'll miss you, Shorty."

"I'll miss you too. I'll text you, ok . . . I love you, JJ." I gave him a peck on the lips but then he kissed me back a little bit more and I wanted to stay so bad. I hurriedly pulled away. "I hate you sometimes, JJ. Now I'm going to be craving that the whole two days I'm away from you."

He smirked, "That was the point." I stuck my tongue at him and before I left he said, "I love you too, Shorty."

I gave him one last look and went to go get changed. I hurriedly changed into dark colored low rise jeans with a tight white t-shirt. Then I walked down the hall to go find Channing so we could get going. But as soon as I started to walk down the hall, I saw Randy again. I decided to walk right past him. If he didn't want to talk to me, that was just fine with me.

But as I walked past him, he said to me, "Nicole wait."

I turned to him, shocked. "Wow, you're actually talking to me. no more giving m the cold shoulder."

"Yeah I'm sorry about that. But I need to talk to you. It's really –" Randy started to say.

But then my phone started to go off. "Hold that thought." I looked to see I got a text from Channing asking where I was. I answered that I would be there in just a sec.

"Look Rands, I'm supposed to meet Channing right now. Can we talk when I get back on Wed.?" I asked. I was still mad at him but I did want to talk to him. I wanted to get to the bottom of him acting weird around me.

"Yeah sure." He nodded glumly, "But I need to talk to you as soon as possible."

"How about this? You can pick me up from the airport on Wed. and we can got to a restaurant and talk there. I was going to have John pick me up but if you need to talk to me soon . . ." I suggested to him.

"Umm sure that would be fine." Randy agreed.

"Ok.' And forgetting that I was mad at him, I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you in a couple of days Rands."

He put his hand to the spot where I kissed. "Yeah see ya, Nick."

Then I ran off to go meet my fiancée. I hope these three days will give me the courage so I can finally break it off with him.

**2 Days Later**

It was a great couple of days but I just couldn't break up with him. He was having such a good time that I just couldn't. I don't know why I hesitate every time I tried because I know I want to be with John. More than anyone can ever imagine. But pushing that from my mind, I'm just glad to be going back.

I had to leave in a hour then catch a 2 hour flight to Utah. Randy was picking me up at about 5:00 when the plane lands. John text me earlier and said Maria had to go to her parents for the rest of the week. So no Maria. Yes!! I would do a happy dance right now if I could.

I saw Channing come into the bedroom as I was packing. "Hey babe, can I talk to you for a minute?"

I turned to look at him, "Yeah sure." I walked over to where he was sitting on the bed.

"Umm you know I talked to John when you had to go do the show." He started.

"Yeah," I wonder where he was going with this. John said it wasn't too important.

"Well I wanted to talk to him about how I think that he should stay away from you."

What the fuck? Did that just come out of his mouth? "What??"

"I told him to stay away from you." Channing said simply like it was no big idea. Who did he think he was?

I had to breathe in evenly so I know that I wouldn't flip out. "Why in the hell would you do that?"

"Because I had to." He said. "I need to feel better about this whole set up. Look, I know all about you're uh history with John and I just don't feel comfortable with you two being friends."

I looked at him, "What do you know?"

"Oh enough. Like how it was a year long relationship until you left him 2 years ago. And you left him because you were pregnant with his baby but you lost it."

"How in the fuck do you know all of that?"

He shook his head, "That's not important. I want to know why you didn't tell me about all of that yourself?"

Man he can make me so angry. He can be so dumb sometimes too, "Well for one it's none of your business. That happened long before I even met you. And that is between John and I. If I wanted you to know then I would have told you. And second of all, that is still a very raw topic for me Channing. I don't like talking about it to anyone."

"But you still should have told me, regardless."

"No, I didn't have to tell you anything. That's my business." I go up from my seat as did he.

"Ok but I still don't like the idea of you being friends with him." He replied angrily. "I bet he's the one who is picking you up from the airport."

I rolled my eyes, "Actually Randy is picking me up."

"Oh and he's another one. I don't want you to be friends with him either." He said, "I knew there was something going on."

I looked at him stunned. "What are you talking about?"

Channing looked at me, "You know what I'm talking about. You and Randy slept together a few times."

Ok, only two people knew about that, Ashley and Candice. So how in the hell did he know about that? "Chan, that didn't mean anything. It was just all about someone being there for me. And like I said, this was long before I met you. Randy is one of my best friends in the entire world. He's been there for me through everything, just like John has been. You don't even know half of the stuff that went on while we were dating. Look, I just can't imagine my life without those two."

"But if you want a life with me, then you can't be around them." He began, "I'm sorry babe but I have to make you choose, me or them?"

I know what you are thinking. This is my chance to get rid of him. But I really do love Channing. If it was going to end, I didn't want it to end like this. But I knew who I have chosen. I bet you already guessed anyway. "Then I choose them."

"What?" He asked stunned.

"I choose them. None of those two would make me choose like you are making me do now." I took the ring off of my finger and put it into his hand. "I have been in a controlling relationship before and I'm not going to go through it again." I paused for a second. Channing didn't look at me, "So I guess this is goodbye."

He still didn't look at me, "I guess it is."

I got my suitcases and went to the door. I caught a cab and left to go to the airport. I still had 15 minutes til my flight was leaving so I called my sister. Of course, she didn't answer, so I left her a message. Then I called John.

He picked up on the second ring, "Hey Shorty."

By this time, tears were cascading down my cheeks. This does hurt, a lot. I choked out, "Hey JJ."

"Shorty, what's wrong?"

I sniffled, "We broke up, JJ . . . I don't know why I'm so upset. I want to be with you but it just hurts so much."

"Shorty, it's going to hurt for awhile. Even though you know you want to be with me, it's still going to hurt." John explained to me. He did make so much sense. Because I did spend a little over a year with Channing and it was just going to hurt. "It's going to be ok, Shorty. I love you."

"I love you too, JJ." I smiled through my tears. I heard my flight was boarding so I said, "I have to go because my flight is boarding."

"Alright, Randy's picking you up, right?"

"Yeah so I'll see you in a few hours." I said, "Oh and thanks."

"No problem." Then we hung up. But my smile soon faded. I realized that I was alone now. I know I have John but technically, he still isn't mine.

I got on the plane and just started thinking. Am I ever going to be truly happy? Right now, I have no idea. All I wanted to do right now was talk to Randy. He was always the one that could make me feel better after Channing and I would have a fight.

After a sleepless 2 hour flight, I finally arrived in Utah. I got my luggage and searched for the Legend Killer. I finally spotted him but he was talking away on his cell phone. He didn't look happy at all.

I made my way over to him while he hung up. I tapped him on the shoulder as he turned to face me, "Hey Nick."

I gave him a huge hug. I just need one from him. He hesitated at first but then wrapped his arms around me to hug me back tight. I really want to know what's going on with him. I pulled away and gave him a light smile. "I'm so glad to see you."

He smirked "Yeah I bet you are." But then he looked into my sad, blue eyes and said, "Uh-oh, something wrong between you and lover boy?"

How does he fucking do that? "Yeah."

"Well let's get your bags and you can tell me all about it." So we left and all the way to Red Lobster, I told him everything. He was surprised at first but he assured me that it was better that way. He seemed like my same old Randy. But then after we started eating our meals, he started acting weird again.

I looked over at him, "Hey, are you ok?"

He looked up from his plate, "Umm yeah, I just have a lot on my mind."

We continued to eat in silence. But I noticed that he didn't really eat much. And I saw that he would sneak glances over at me like he wanted to say something. Then his cell hone began to ring. He looked at the caller ID.

"I have to take this, Nick." When I nodded, he left the table and answered it. So now I had some time to think for myself.

Why is Randy acting like this? Seriously, it's starting to scare me. It's scaring me to the point where I'm afraid I'm going to lose him. I don't know if you know this but I don't think I can make it without him. Yeah I have John to be there, but I guess sometimes you need that one person that you know will always stick by you. I have been through some of worse times with Randy and he never left me once.

But as I'm thinking this, he comes back and sits down. He looks like he's got something serious on his mind. So I ask, "Is everything alright, Rands?"

"I don't know." He doesn't look at me. Something serious is going on.

"Well just spit it out." I say directly. I just wish he would tell me already so I can stop worrying so much.

He looks at my face but then back to the floor. He does this when he's uncomfortable. Believe me when I say that. I've spent so much time with him, it isn't even funny. He finally says, "I really don't know how too say this . . . but I don't think that we can be friends anymore."

I feel like I just smashed into a brick wall. Did that really come out of his mouth? "What are you talking about?"

He runs a hand through his very short dark hair. It takes him awhile to speak. "I'm talking about how I don't think we should be friends anymore."

"Oh I heard what you said. I just don't understand it." What the fuck is going on?

"There's nothing to understand. Just take it for hat it is and be done with it." He said harshly.

I look at him. Why is he being like this? This is definitely not the Randy I know and love. "Be done with it? So the 3 year friendship that we shared is going to be just gone and forgotten?"

"I guess so." He says it, but it doesn't even sound like him at all.

"I don't even get an explanation?" I ask. Even though sometimes I'm good at holding my emotions in, I'm starting to go nuts. I can't cry.

He eyes still haven't met mine, "I don't know. How about I'm tired of being your knight in shining armor all the time?"

He has the fucking nerve, "My knight in shining armor? If you're that, then I think I should have a fucking monument built in my honor."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

I rolled my eyes, "Randy, I've helped through the same amount of shit that you've helped me through. Maybe even a lot more."

This time it was his turn to roll his eyes at me, "Well Nicole, I think different. I think you paid so much money in plane tickets to my place that you could have instead bought a new house. Or maybe you should have just chipped in with the house payments because you should have just moved into my place."

"I'm sorry. I thought my best friend actually cared about me and wanted to help me." I can't believe that he's saying all of this.

This time he did look in my eyes, "Maybe I think you should stand on your own two feet. Maybe I cared . . . Maybe I cared too much."

He said that last part quietly. But I ignored it anyway, "Randy . . . did I do something wrong?"

I saw his expression immediately soften. I can be pretty pathetic when I want to be. "No Nicole, I don't mean to give you the 'it's not you, it's me' speech. But it really is my fault. And I can't give you an explanation because its way too complicated."

I had to get out of here. No way was I going to let Randy see me cry over this. "Whatever. Now you don't have to deal with my shit ever again. Goodbye Randy."

I got up and left. I ran out of the restaurant and went and sat down on the sidewalk. I pulled out my phone and dialed John's number from memory. By now tears had escaped from my eyes. I had to get out of here and fast.

John picked up immediately. "Hey Shorty, what's up?"

I loved hearing his voice. It really calmed me down. "Hey JJ, umm could you come and pick me up? I'm at Red Lobster right now."

"Where's Randy? I thought you were coming with him." He asked.

"Look I'll explain when you get me. So can you do it?"

"Of course, Shorty. I'll be there in 10 minutes." And we hung up.

5 minutes passed and that's when Randy came walking out. I hurriedly wiped my eyes and just sat there, restraining myself from wanting to look at him.

"Do you have a ride back to the hotel, Nick?" I heard him ask.

I turned to him, "What's it to you?"

"I just want to make sure that you make it back ok." He said softly.

I feel tears brim my eyes, "Randy, you don't have the right to tell me you don't want to be friends with me then come out all caring about me. It just doesn't work that way." I told him while he hung his head a little. "So if this is what you want then just leave me alone . . ."

Randy took a look at me. He saw how hurt I was about this and for a second I didn't care. I just wanted him to leave me be. Finally he whispers, "I'm sorry, Nick." Then he walks away from me.

This hurts a lot. This hurts almost as bad as when I left John. Why did he do this? Why does he all of the sudden not want anything to do with me? he makes me so angry but so sad at the same time. Hurry up, John.

Then as if he heard me, he pulled up. That's so freaky sometimes. I'm so glad to see him. I get in the car and he knows I don't want to talk about it just yet. I just don't know how I'm going to get through this.

**Next Chapter: Nicole and Mickie end up rooming together. That night, what Randy said finally catches up to her and she has a breakdown. John helps her through it and they have another heart to heart talk. It'll be a couple of weeks later and Randy doesn't show up for RAW. Nicole searches for him to find him drunk off of his ass. Then Randy and Nicole end up doing something that makes Nicole questions her feelings for the Legend Killer and his feelings for her as well.**


	9. Drunken Actions

**Thanks to _RKO.I.F_., _DarkAngelofDrkness09_, _CraftyTink529_, _CenaFan1395_, _mcena99_, _foolishangel87_, _alethea293_, _whitegraywolf_, and _xAttitudex_ for the reviews. 9 reviews as always thanks you guys.**

**And I'm saying sorry a million times because it took me over a month to update. It's just with my senior year and everything, I never have any time. But I promise the next update with not be that long of a wait. I hope you can forgive me **

**I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review if you still remember his story. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 9: **_Drunken Actions_

John drove us two back to the hotel so that I could get my things ready for the show tonight. I went to the front desk to see who I was going to be rooming with since Ashley wasn't there. I found out that I was rooming with Mickie. Well at least we are trying to be friends so I think that's a good idea.

John walked me up to my hotel door. He looked me over, didn't say anything, and just looked at me. I gave him a fake reassuring smile and told him I would be down in the lobby in a half hour. We parted ways finally.

As I opened my door, I saw Mickie hurrying to get her things together also. She turned to me when I opened the door.

"Hey Nicole." She greeted cheerfully.

I wasn't in the mood at all to the show and I definitely wasn't in the mood to be friendly. But I did anyway. I sucked it up and faked another smile. "Hi, Mickie. Looks like we're rooming together."

"Yeah, but I think it's a good idea. You know, so we can get to know each other better." Mickie replied.

I nodded in agreement, "Me too. So . . . last minute packing?"

She laughed, "Yeah pretty much. I've always been that type of person. Never really an organizer. I just go with the flow."

I smiled. It looked like to me that we could be really good friends. I kind have needed a girl friend right now since Ashley was gone and Candice was more friends with Maria. But I just couldn't help to think that it's so hard to hide the feelings. I want to work on being friends with her but its hard when I feel like I do. Let's just say I feel like shit. I looked at Mickie and asked, "Are you organized enough to where you have a ride to the arena?"

"Damn! I knew I forgot something . . ."

I had to giggle, "Well you can come with John and me. I'm sure he wouldn't mind. He always says the more the merrier."

She agreed, "Thanks, you're a lifesaver. So you and John . . . are you back together or something?"

I looked at her, stunned, "Umm no. We just decided to be good friends again. And Mickie, he's still with Maria."

"Oh yeah, sorry, blonde moment . . . I get those a lot." She said smacking her head slightly, "But that's good that you guys are friends again. Maybe you can convince him to get rid of Maria."

"Oh and why's that?" I asked curiously.

Mickie rolled her eyes, "Because she just won't shut up about him. You know, like she wants to brag that she's going out with 'the' John Cena. It's so annoying. She talks like he is more her trophy than boyfriend . . . plus you two are absolutely perfect for each other. I just couldn't imagine him with someone else."

I had to smile. I know we are perfect for each other; it always seemed that way. And I was happy to know that others thought so too. "You know, that makes me feel so much better."

"Happy to help. Well we better get ready, yeah?"

I looked at the time, "Oh my god, yeah! We need to meet John in 15 minutes!"

So we hurried and finished up packing. We met up with John and we were off to the house show.

**3 a.m. that night **

**Third POV**

Mickie James opened her eyes, sleepily. What was that funny noise coming from? She sat up a little and looked toward where the noise was coming from. The bathroom door was closed and a light was coming out of the bottom of the door. Nicole's bed was empty. So tiredly, Mickie hurried to the bathroom. Now that she got closer to the door, the noise sounded more like muffled crying.

"Nicole?" She asked. She opened the door and saw Nicole on the bathroom floor, up against the wall, and looking up at the women's champion. Her eyes were red from crying and she was dressed in a white tank top and black with white skull print all over them. She looked horrible.

"Nicole, are you ok?" Mickie asked.

Nicole looked to the floor, "I'm so sorry, Mickie. I tried . . . to keep it down . . . so that you could sleep."

Mickie shook her head, "That doesn't matter . . . Are you ok? Do you want me to call John?"

For a second, Nicole did nothing. But then she weakly shook her head. Mickie wasted no time. She ran for Nicole's phone on the nightstand and dialed John's number. He answered on the fifth ring.

"Hello?" he asked hoarsely.

"John, it's Mickie. And before you ask me why I'm calling, it's Nicole. She's bawling her eyes out and she won't say why. She wants to see you." Mickie quickly explained.

"I'll be there in 5 minutes." Then he hurriedly hung up.

In like two minutes, there was a knock at the door. She hurried to answer and saw that he was dressed in a blue Reebok shirt with black gym shorts. "Where is she?"

"In the bathroom." Mickie quickly said. He hurried past the diva and went for his Shorty.

**Nicole's POV**

I can't believe I could have been this stupid. Why couldn't I just hold it in for just a little longer? But I just couldn't. Randy has hurt me so much. I feel bad for Mickie right now; she probably thinks that I'm so kind of freak or something. I don't really care about that right now. All I want is for John to tell me that everything is going to be ok.

I see him coming for me and I reach out pathetically for him. He hugs me to him tightly while I just blubber like a baby. I really am pathetic sometimes. He's whispering in my ear that everything is going to be ok and for a minute I actually believe him. If he only knew, he probably thinks I'm crying over Channing.

He pulls away and asks, "What's wrong, Nicole?"

I take in a breath so that I know that I can say a sentence right. I look into his expectant blue eyes and say, "It's Randy . . . you know when you had to pick me up at the restaurant today?"

When he nodded a yes, I continued, "Well Randy and I got into a really big fight—"

"Oh, Nicole. That's nothing to get upset over. You guys will—"

I shook my head and he stopped talking. "No John, this is for real. He told me flat out that we couldn't be friends anymore . . . he didn't even give me a reason."

Tears fell down my face and John wiped them away, "Its ok, Nicole. Just breathe ok because it's all going to be ok, alright?"

I nodded. Then suddenly hear, "What an asshole."

We both turned to look at her. I think we kind of forgot that she was there. She immediately blushed a little and apologized, "Sorry sometimes I don't know when to keep my mouth shut."

"It's ok, he was being an asshole."

She walked over to me with a tissue in hand. She hands it to me, "Do you want me to get anything for you?"

"At 3 in the morning?" The corners of my lips twitched a little.

"Well like something out of a vending machine?" She smiled.

"Umm I like raspberry flavored water." I told her.

She got up, "Say no more. I'll be right back." And she left out the door.

John looked at me, "Come on, Shorty. Let's get you up off the floor." He helped me up but it was with ease for him. He helped me over to the bed and we sat down beside each other.

John turned to me, "Are you going to be ok?"

"I don't know. I mean I have every right to be mad at him and I want to hate him so bad. But I just can't. He was my best friend. I just can't seem to find any reason why he would do this to me." I looked right into John's blue eyes and suddenly realization hit me. This must have been exactly what he felt when I decided to just leave him behind. I am a selfish bitch, "I'm so sorry, JJ."

He looked at me, confused, "Sorry for what?"

"Because Randy did almost the same exact thing that I did to you. But you must have felt 10 times worse than I do right now." I saw his eyes look to the ground, "I can't believe I ever thought that was the right thing to do. I'm so sorry."

John looked back into my tearful blue eyes and cupped my face in his hands, "Shorty, you have no idea how much that hurt . . . but you have to realize that I have forgiven you for that. I've put it in the past as one of your mistakes."

I put my hands on his, "But how could you forgive me? I was so selfish to do that to you—"

"Shorty, you weren't selfish. Don't ever think that. You were only doing what you thought was best for me, am I right?" I didn't say anything so he took that as a confirmation. But then he smiled at me and continued, "And you want to know how I could forgive you. Well I think it was when I first saw you at the wedding and all those feelings I had before you left came back so I was angry, more at myself than you. And then when Randy told me how much you regretted the decision that you made, I reminded myself about how much you mean to me. And how much I missed you. I love you, Shorty. Even when you left, I have never stopped even though how many times I told myself that I was over you."

"I love you too, JJ." I couldn't keep it in any longer. I gave him a sweet kiss on the lips. He gave me one back, deepening the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him as close as possible to me. I never wanted to let him go. But suddenly he pulled away from me. I opened my eyes quickly.

"What is it? What's wrong?" I asked.

"I think I hear Mickie coming." He whispered. And sure enough, Mickie came walking through the door. She was holding the water that I wanted and also something for herself.

"Hey sorry I took so long. I couldn't find a vending machine on this floor so I had to go clear way down to the lobby." She said breathlessly. She came over and handed me the water, "Feeling better?"

She had no idea, "A little, thank you."

I took a quick sip. John looked at me, "Are you going to be ok?"

I gave him a smile and nodded, "Yeah I'll be fine. Go back to bed. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." I wasn't completely fine but I think I could make it the rest of the night. I wasn't going to keep him any longer.

He gave me a kiss on the cheek and a hug. He said bye to Mickie and was out the door. I watched him walk out, silently thanking him, when I saw Mickie staring at me. "What?"

"You still got it bad."

"What do you mean?" I acted stupid.

Mickie smirked, "Oh come one Nicole. You still love the guy. I mean who wouldn't? He is so hot and sweet at the same time."

I had to giggle, "Yeah he is hot. But we are just going to be friends, Mickie."

"Ok I believe you." But with her tone, I knew she didn't.

"Good night, Mickie." I smirked and fell asleep instantly as my head hit the pillow.

**2 Weeks Later, Monday Night Raw**

It's been a rough couple of weeks. But I have been feeling a little bit better. John has helped me try to get past this Randy situation. But I know none of those two know why I'm so upset and worried about him. I have no idea why I am. I guess because I'm afraid he's going to start getting into trouble again. No one ever knows really what went down between Randy and me. But at least they are trying. It sucks though that Maria is trying to take away all my time with John. Let's just say I haven't seen him since like Saturday night.

Right now, I am with Mickie in the diva's locker room, just talking about random things. Then Maria came in with the smuggest look on her face. This is just great.

Candice walked over to her, "What are you so happy about Maria?"

She only sat a few feet away from me. I knew she was going to try to rub whatever she had to say in my face. "Oh nothing really. I guess he was just really happy to see me though, if you know what I mean."

I feel my body tense up. I know Mickie is looking at me but right now all I want to do is rip out Maria's hair. "I swear he is such a babe. Well you know what I mean. I think we are such a great couple and I think that we are going to take the next step sooner or later. But the way I see ii with him, it will be sooner."

I heard enough. I didn't want to start anything and I knew if I heard anymore of what that bitch was saying, I would do what I wanted to her. Luckily, our match was next so Mickie and I got up, "Come one Mickie, let's go."

I walked out the door but my friend didn't follow. But I could hear her. "That was really low." I heard her say.

"What?" I heard Maria ask, "She needs to remember that John is my boyfriend and not hers. And he will never be hers again."

"Come on, Maria, admit it. You're just way jealous of her." Mickie replied.

"Me? Jealous of her? Yeah right."

"You are. And you are scared. You know that if Nicole really wanted him back, John would take her back without even another thought about you. You see the way he looks at her and you wish he could look at you the same way." I knew Mickie had to be smirking right now because I was doing the same exact thing. "So if I were you, I would be careful."

I heard her coming so I ducked out of the way. When I saw her I just acted dumb, "What took you so long?"

She smiled, "I had to take care of some business. Come on, let's go."

You know, I think this can be the start of a beautiful friendship.

**After the Match**

We won our match, of course. Ok I don't mean to sound conceited or anything but our match was awesome! Like really totally cool. I went to go get changed while Mickie left to go find Chris Jericho. Yeah I know, wouldn't they be a cute couple?! Anyway, I changed into a denim mini-0skirt with a plain, black halter top. I just put on the top when there was a knock at the door.

I opened it and I saw a crew member, "Ms. Massaro, Mr. McMahon wants to see you in hi office as soon as possible."

"Ok, thank you." I wondered what he wanted. I hope it was nothing bad. I hurried to his office and knocked on the door. I heard a quick come in.

"Hi Mr. McMahon, you wanted to see me?" I asked cautiously.

He smiled, "Don't worry, its nothing bad about you, Nicole. I was just wondering if you had seen Randy anywhere tonight."

Uh-oh, this isn't good. "Umm actually I think he said something earlier about being really sick to his stomach. He couldn't even walk a straight line without getting dizzy so I thought he should have stayed in bed tonight."

He nodded, "Oh, well if he was sick he should have called me. He was also lucky that we didn't need him tonight and I was going to give him the night off anyway."

"I'm sure he just forgot to call you sir. I was on my way there now to go check on him. Do you want me to tell him to give you a call?"

"Yeah that would be great." I started to walk out the door but Mr. McMahon said, "You know Nicole, Randy is lucky to have someone to look out for him the way you do. He is truly lucky."

I smiled and gave him a nod and I left to go find Mickie. Ok, I know I lied to Mr. McMahon. But I know Randy has to be in deep shit right now. This reminds me of the numerous times that I had to cover for hi. Let's just say I saved his ass from getting fired probably 10 or 20 times.

Anyway, I found Mickie still talking to Chris. I walked up to her and said, "Hey Micks, can I talk to you for just a sec?"

"Yeah sure." She turned to Chris, "I'll be right back."

We walked a little bit away from Chris and I asked hurriedly, "Ok, do you think that you can catch a ride back to the hotel with someone?"

"Yeah sure I can. But why?"

I told her what happened in Mr. McMahon's office. But she just shook her head at me, "Nicole, he isn't your responsibility anymore."

Then I shook my head, "No Micks, he still is . . . look can you also go find John and tell him that I need to talk to him as soon as possible."

"Yeah I will."

"Thanks Mickie." Then I gave her a hug.

"No problem, just go." So I left her. I hurried out to the car to get to the hotel. Randy was either drunk off his ass or really high. I really hope it's the first one.

I went to the hotel and found him at the bar. And I could tell that he had more than enough. God this was going to be fun.

"Randy." I said I walked over to him and put my hand on his shoulder. He jumped slightly but then turned to me.

He smiled drunkenly, "Hello beautiful."

I rolled my eyes. When Randy is drunk, he's a mopey drunk that lives up to his image as a lady thriller. Don't ask me how he can be both.

"Randy, come on let's go on up to your room." I tugged on his arm a little.

"Whoa there, I have to know your name before we do that." He laughed.

He must be so drunk that h can't even tell who I am. "Randy, its Nicole. Let's get back up to your room before someone sees us."

He squinted a little then realized who I was, "Oh Nicole, I still wouldn't mind if you wanted to do it." He looked into my eyes, "Your eyes have some green in them."

Then he turned his head and puked all over the floor. The bartender gave me the dirtiest look ever. "Sorry, we're getting out of here." I took Randy's arm and slung it over my shoulder. "Come on Randy. I can't carry you."

Surprisingly, he started to walk. Of course, I was carrying half his weight. We got into the elevator when I pressed the number 3 and the doors closed, Randy said, "Nick, I don't feel good."

"Oh no." I looked up at him, "You're not throwing up here. You're going to wait."

Man. Randy is really heavy. I was tired already. The doors opened an we walked to his room, "Where's your key?"

He smirked, "I don't know. You're going to have to find them."

"Jesus Randy." I really didn't feel like playing games tonight. I stuck my hands in his front pocket while he let out a chuckle. I glared at him the shoved my hands in his back pockets. I pulled out the key and helped him inside. I led him over to the bathroom where he threw up in the toilet.

I turned on the hot water and the shower. I went to his suitcase, got a pair of clean boxers, and handed them to him. "Nicole, ii feel really sick."

"I know Randy. Just get a shower and put these on. You should feel better." I told him.

He looked into my eyes, "You're not going to leave, are you?"

"No, I'm just going to be outside of the door. Hurry up, ok?" I said to him.

He nodded while I closed the door behind me. I went and sat on the bed. I put my head in my hands. I don't know why I'm here. Like Mickie said, he isn't my responsibility. I guess I know that I do still really care about him. God, what am I getting myself into?

I hear the shower turn off and a couple of minutes later, Randy came out. "I was sure you left."

I stood up, "No but come one. Hop into bed and sleep this off."

He fell on the bed and was sprawled out, "I'm sorry I'm a dick to you."

"Shh, just go to sleep." I sat down beside him when he just stared at me.

he pouted, "Samantha don't like me anymore. You don't like me no more. I know it's because I'm just a big screw up."

Told you he likes to wallow in his self-pity. No one really understands Randy I think. But that's my opinion if you all don't think that way. He curled up with his head on the pillow but sat up a little. He was turned towards me and was eye level to me. "What do you mean about Samantha?" I asked him.

"She said she don't want to be with me no more. Because I did something . . ." Then Randy mumbled off.

I leaned in a little to hear what he was saying. I think he thought that I wanted him to kiss me because he did just that. His lips brushed against mine slightly. I pulled back immediately. "Randy, what are you doing?"

"Something I have wanted to do for so long." The he leaned up again, brought his hand to the back of my head, and kissed me again. I didn't do anything at first just sat there to wait until he was done. But then I found myself kissing him back. And as he deepened it, my heart started to race and felt like electric currents were radiating from where our lips were connected. What the fuck is going on? I'm actually like enjoying this. I feel heat and want all wrapped up in this. As he started to pull away from me, I grabbed the back of his head so that he would stay put.

I don't get it. I know he's drunk out of his mind and I'm still mad at him. Then why do I want to kiss him? Right now I'm losing my train of thought. He's pulling me closer to him so that I can feel his muscular body close to mine and I feel his hand travel down my back, under my shirt. That snaps me back from this. I better stop before I get lost in this again. I pull away and he's smiling as he lays back down.

"Nick, I . . ." Then he drifted off to sleep. Luckily, he was drunk so he won't remember any of this. Our relationship is complicated enough already. I hurried up and got a bottle of water out of the mini fridge and got 2 aspirin out of my purse. I set this all on the nightstand and left. I left behind a little note for him, not telling him anything that had occurred.

What does all of this mean? I have no idea and I don't want to touch on that subject for awhile. And I also wonder why my life has to get more complicated.

**Next Chapter: The next morning Randy wakes up and sees that Nicole helped him last night. Does he remember anything that had happened? Nicole and John get into their first big fight and it leaves Nicole wondering if it is all really worth it. Randy comes back to apologize to her so does she forgive him? And will these two complicated best friends confront the feelings they have for each other?**


	10. I Missed You

**Thanks to** **_foolishangel87_, _alethea293_, _RKO.I.F._, _supernaturalsdarkangel08_, _CraftyTink529_, _xAttitudex_, _wrestlenascargirl_, and _EOSVU4eva_ for the reviews. Yeah 8 reviews. I'm going to say thank you a million times lol. But I won't keep you long**

**Here's the next chapter of Nothing Else Matters and I hope you all like it. Sorry for the late update but like I said senior year is busy lol. Enjoy!!!!!**

**Chapter 10: **_I Missed You_

**Third POV**

Randy woke up the very next morning with just about the hugest hangover he thinks he has ever had in awhile. His head hurt so much that it made him sick to his stomach. He started to raise himself sleepily so that he could check the time. But that's when he saw, sitting on the nightstand, a bottle of water and a couple of white aspirin. Then he realized that he was only in his boxers. How in the heel did he get in this? Better yet, how did he get into his room? He hoped that he didn't sleep with just some random chick. But when he looked around, there was no sign of anyone being with him last night.

That's when he saw a note with all too familiar handwriting:

_Randy,_

_I don't know what was going on with you last night. I covered for you with Vince because he called me in to see if I had seen you anywhere. I told him you were sick so he wants you to call him as soon as possible. And Randy, please don't slip into it again. I know you don't want to be nagged at but I have to say something. Even though you don't want to be friends anymore, I can't help but still care about you. A 3 year habit is hard to break. No matter how hard life can get, you don't need that shit to help you get through it._

_Nicole_

So Nicole was the one that helped him out last night. He couldn't believe that she would do that. Especially after all the things that he said to her. If he could take it all back he would. Because the only one true person that cares about him is Nicole. He could always count on her and sometimes may have even counted on her too much. But that's why he thinks that he fell in love with her.

He wish he hadn't because then everything could be simple. Sure he was in love with his girlfriend, well his ex-girlfriend now but his love for Nicole was different. She made him feel like someone truly cared what happens to him and believes in him, despite his bad record. She even made him in the man he is today which is much better than the years before that.

He hated that he told her that he didn't want to be friends with her. He hated that look of hurt that was all over her face. He knew the feeling; it was like you lost part of yourself. It had been killing him these past couple of weeks that he couldn't talk to her. But he always reminded himself that it would be hard to be friends if he wanted more.

Besides, he knew that they could never be. Even though that she was now single, he knew that she was still in love with John. He couldn't change that and he was slowly starting to accept that. So it was better now to just let it go and let her be happy.

**Back to Nicole's POV**

It is now I would say, 9:44 in the morning and here I was sitting in the cafeteria. I was waiting for John but I was thinking about Randy the whole time. What was that kiss all about? But most of all, what did he mean when he said he had wanted to do it for so long? It could be just drunk babbling but he seemed really serious.

I had no time to think more into this because John came walking up to the table. He didn't look very happy and I somehow knew that this was about to get interesting.

"Hey JJ . . ." I greeted with a warm smile.

"Hey Shorty." He said, not very enthusiastically.

I scrunched up my nose in confusion, "What's wrong with you?"

He looked at me but just shrugged his shoulders. Ok, something is majorly wrong. I can literally feel the tension. I think he's mad about something that I did but for some reason he's too afraid to ask. Oh great.

"JJ, I know you want to say something so just spit it out." He was making me really nervous by just staring at me.

He sat up a little then looked at me, "Ok, where were you last night?"

What the hell? Ok, this is a new side of John. What the fuck is wrong with where I was last night. It wasn't like he was going to hang with me last night because no way was Maria going to let him so why should it matter? "Well I had to leave early. I had something that I needed to take care of."

John grimaced, "Which was?"

I crossed my arms over my chest, "Look, if you know something JJ, just say it. Don't ask me a million questions to try to get the answer you're looking for."

He thought about it a moment so I guess that this really is important. He looks in my eyes, "Why were you in Randy's hotel room last night?"

What the fuck? Do I have some sort of GPS tracker on me? How does everyone know where I am at all times? "How do you know that?"

"Maria saw you. She was getting some snacks and saw you coming out of his room with your lip gloss smeared and you were fixing the bottom . . . of your shirt."

I looked at him. Does he really think that I'm fooling around with Randy now? The look on his face tells me that he does. And you know what, that made me fucking angry. "So I guess you're thinking that I'm fucking Randy now?" I said bluntly. I swear, if I see Maria tomorrow, I'm pulling out ever fake extension that bitch has.

He gave me that look that means 'Don't start.' Then he opens his mouth to say, "You tell me . . . but I'm only wondering because it all just doesn't add up. You said so yourself that Randy doesn't want anything to do with you. But you're at his hotel room around 11:45 at night."

I stared at him, "JJ, look, you have nothing to be angry at me for. I can't really explain what happened but I assure you, nothing of what you're thinking happened."

"Then why were you there? More like, why are you even bothering with him after the way he treated you." John asked me.

I honestly couldn't give him an answer because I didn't even know myself. I guess because I know that I still care about Randy. I probably always will but John could never understand that. No one every really can. "I don't know ok, John. He is—I mean was my best friend you know . . . you know I was the one that wanted to interrogate you. Not the other way around."

He looked at me confused, "For what?"

"It's about this whole Maria thing." I started, "I'm single now. Why haven't you said anything about breaking up with her? I can't quite grip why. You say all the time that you want to be with me . . . because you know JJ, I'm seriously at the point right now where I don't think that you're going to break up with her."

He looked me in the eye, "I want to be with you, Shorty. You're just going to have to give me some time."

"Fine." I stated. I know he wanted to say more so I just sat back and waited.

John looked up into my eyes and says, "Since you're single now, you're not going to be fooling around with anyone else, right? I mean you still want to be with me . . . right?"

I gave him a look, "JJ, of course I want to still be with you. And I haven't fooled around with anyone, not even Channing since we started this. I wish I could say the same for you."

"What?"

"Maria doesn't exactly keep her mouth shut, JJ." I leaned across the table, "But I hope you know that I will not be the other woman. You either choose who you want to be with or I can't do it anymore. I'm not going to live like this my whole life because JJ, I deserve to be with someone who is willing to be with me. If you choose to be with Maria or can't even choose at all. I'm to get with someone else."

I hate doing this but I'm just sick and tired of all this shit. I mean, I deserve to be happy right? Even though I know I would fall apart if he chose her. But I'm not going to think about that. I look in his eyes and I see them turn a darker shade which means he's upset. I know it would upset him to see me with someone else. It must of hit him good because he said, "Please don't, ok?"

I hear hurt laced with each syllable he utters. I guess my temper does get the best of me sometimes and I didn't mean to hurt him. Here I have every right to be kind of mad at him and he makes me feel so damn guilty. I am hopelessly in love with this guy. More than he could ever possible know. I just can't seem to take it anymore. But I softened to him, "I'm sorry, JJ. I shouldn't have said those things."

He still looks really down and I grab his hand, not caring if someone might see. And then the best idea just hit me, "What are you doing later?"

"I don't know . . . I was going to go to the gym because Maria has a photo shoot today." He didn't catch on to what I was trying to get at so I squeezed his hand. He looked up as I winked, "Oh!"

I had to chuckle, "Maybe you can come by my room and we can figure something out."

He smiled at that thought, "I would love to but what about Mickie?"

"Well she has a lunch date with Chris around noon and will be gone for hours." I explained, "So if you can, you can come by around noon."

He smirked and whispered, "Oh you know I will."

"Let's get out of here." I smiled at him as we headed for the elevator. We let go of each other's hands because people would suspect something. I so hate this part of the deal. But I look at John an see that he has cheered up. We may have not fixed anything between us but now we definitely have something to look forward to now. And that's all we need.

**Noon**

Mickie is absolutely adorable. She's hurrying as fast as she can to get her make-up and hair done all at the same time. I giggle until she finally finishes.

"How do I look, Nicks?" she asked me.

"You look so cute, Micks. Chris is totally going to fall in love with you."

"I sure hope so." She smiled nervously. Then a knock sounded on the door, "I'll get it. Oh god!"

I giggled again silently. But when she opened the door, it revealed both John and Chris. "Hey Chris." Mickie greeted, "Hey John, are you coming with us or something?"

He smirked at the brunette diva's blondness, "Oh no, I just came up to visit with Nicole. Is she here?"

"Yeah right in there. I'll see you later, Nicks." Mickie called before her and Chris left.

John closed the door then walked over to me. I smiled. He looked hot as always with a gray bodybuilding t-shirt and his usual blue jean shorts. With that smirk on his face, I bet I know what he has in mind for today and I have no objections to that. Would you?

But I can still tease him a little, "I said around noon and you come at the dot. I must say, this is the first time you weren't late."

He smirked even wider, "What? It was because I was so stoked to hang out with you today."

I walked up to him and his eyes followed me, "Oh really . . . so what did you have in mind? We could go to a movie, out to lunch, work out at the gym . . ."

I smirked while naming this off. He smirked right back, "Or we could work out and have lunch here." He snaked his arms around me.

"I was wondering when you would suggest that." I gave him a sweet kiss on the lips. He hugs me closer to him as I deepened it. He scooped me up and while still deepening the kisses, laid me gently on the bed. My arms never left around his neck. My head was swooning and heat traveled throughout my entire body. I was in heaven. No interruptions, just me and John and . . .

John's phone began to go off and my heart literally dropped to my stomach. "Hold on one second, Shorty." He said breathlessly.

I had a feeling I wasn't going to like it. Then I could tell by the look on his face that he didn't like it either. He said goodbye then hung up the cell phone.

"Who was it?" I asked even though I already knew.

He looked at me, "Maria . . . her photo shoot was canceled and she'll be back soon . . ."

Everything about what I had said earlier went out of my head. I didn't want him to leave. Why couldn't he just stay by my side? I didn't want him to leave, hell I wish he could stay forever. But I knew he was going to go, that broke my heart.

"Why can't you just stay?"

He shook his head sadly, "You know I can't, Shorty."

"Yes you can. Just tell her you went to the gym or something." I suggested. Anything, just think of anything. I want to spend some time with him. I hardly have seen him theses past couple of weeks because Maria isn't stupid. If she had her way, I would have fallen off the face of the earth by now.

"Shorty, you know she'll say that she'll come to the gym with me." John explained, "I promise that we'll have time tomorrow to spend some us time."

I rolled my eyes, "That's what you have been saying for quite awhile now."

He gave me that look, "I was able to hang with you last night. But no, you had to go to Randy's to do god knows what."

I can't fucking believe he just said that. I rolled off the bed and looked up at him, "I didn't do anything with Randy. But now I wish I had. He's single now; maybe I should look him up. He would be way more fulfilling to me than this fucked up relationship."

He looked down at me angrily. I really pissed him off with that comment, "Don't you threaten me, Nicole Elizabeth Massaro! You agreed to this arrangement just like I have!"

"Yeah, because I thought you wanted to be with me. But now, I think you're just feeding me bull shit." I said honestly.

He shook his head. He has to know how I feel even though this probably wasn't the best time to do that. John finally yelled back, "Whatever, go fuck Orton. I really don't give a fuck. Do whatever the hell you want." And with that, he slammed the door behind him.

I know I probably shouldn't have said all those things but I kind of had to. I'm hoping that will make him realize that I can't wait around forever. But that still doesn't make it any easier. He was still super pissed at me and basically told me to fuck off. That had to be I would say, the biggest fight John and I have ever gotten into.

I'm not as tough as I wish I could be. I went and sat on the couch and put my head in my hand and bawled. I bawled like a baby for a good 10 minutes until I hear a knock at the door.

"If it's you John, just go away!!!!!!" I screamed. My voice cracked so I hope it wasn't him.

And then I heard that voice that I missed the most in these past couple of weeks, "No Nicole, it's me Randy. Can I come in?"

Randy? Could it really be him? It sounds just like my Randy. I say, "The door is open . . ."

It takes a minute and at first I think I just imagined his voice because Randy was always there when I needed it. Well I do miss him like a lot. I mean it's weird. You would think I would be pissed at him and not want to see him ever again. But all I wanted right now was for him to come walking through that door. So when I see the door open and it really reveals my Randy, I feel my heart begin to beat faster.

"Is everything alright, Nick?" he asks, his voice full of concern. I look at him with tear filled eyes and shake my head.

He closes the door behind him and comes to sit beside me. I look back at the ground and look back at his face. He's not sure if I want him there or not. A million questions ran through my mind and I knew I should have told him to leave me alone. But I missed him and as I look in his eyes, I know he missed me too.

He opens his arms and the next thing I know, I'm in them. I feel so safe and I missed him so much. He's hugging me tightly, again knowing that I don't want to talk. I just want to be held. I cry softy as he rubs my back soothingly. Once he sees that I'm calming down, he begins, "Look, Nick, I don't know what's up but I want you to know that I'm here for you, ok? And I'm never going to leave your side again."

I let myself pull out of his arms, "That really hurt, Rands. I felt so lost. I can't stand not having you around." I say honestly. Normally, I would have flipped out on him, but right now I don't give a shit what he has done to me. My heart ached for him every time I saw him and couldn't talk to him. I don't care that I'm supposed to be angry with him; I just want my Randy back.

I put my hand on his, "You have to promise that you will never try anything like that again. I don't think I could handle that again . . ."

He looks into my eyes with so much sincerity. "I promise."

Then I give him a big hug. I finally had my Rands back. And I wasn't letting him go anywhere. He hugs be back tightly like he missed the way I felt. I know I did. "I'm truly and sincerely sorry, Nick . . . but if it helps, I missed you a lot more than one should."

I smiled, "I missed you too." I stayed cuddled to him.

We just stayed like that and I was so at peace. But then my eyes started to droop. Well I am not used to waking up at 7 in the morning on my day off and it didn't help that I was exhausted from crying. I just felt so comfortable and never wanted to leave Randy. He must have noticed because he scooped me up and laid me gently on the bed. But when he pulled away to let me go, I looked up at him.

"Where are you going?"

he smiled, "I was gonna go and let you sleep. You seem really tired."

I gave him that look and he smirked, "I know, how stupid of me . . ."

Then he came back and laid down beside me. I immediately cuddled up to him, laying my head on his chest and wrapping my arms around his waist. While he stroked my back lightly, I felt myself drifting off to sleep. And before I did, I couldn't help but think that everything was alright now. Even though it really wasn't.

**Next Chapter: Randy surprises Nicole by taking her to a little fair that's in town. She meets Mickie there and together with Chris and Randy, they hang out together at the fair. They're having a blast until they meet up with another group that John is in. Suddenly it's not so fun anymore. Nicole and John get into another fight. Can these two get through it or will it all blow up in their faces? Also Nicole and Randy's shady past comes to light.**

_**I also have a poll that is about who do you think Nicole should end up, John or Randy. I already know myself but I would love to see who you think she should be with. So vote for whoever you think!**_

**John Cena is coming back in 11 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do a happy dance lol :]**


	11. Playing Games

**Thanks to _EOSVU4eva_, _CraftyTink529_, _foolishangel87_, _RKO.I.F_, _xAttitudex_, and _AngelRose82_ for the reviews. Thank you so much guys. I love that you're staying with me even though it's taking me a while to update my story. But I hope you all can forgive me.**

**Enough apologizing, enjoy chapter 11 and review!**

**Chapter 11: **_Playing Games_

**Third POV**

Randy couldn't sleep. He didn't want to sleep even if he was so tired. He really wasn't tired at all. It was all worth it when he saw Nicole sound asleep in his arms. She looked so beautiful, especially when she smiled or would cuddle closer to him. He loved to just sit here and listen to the sound of her heartbeat.

And he couldn't help but think that he wished that they could stay like this forever. Because this way, there was no interruptions and Nicole and Randy could stay in their own little world. Whenever he was with her, he never thought of anything else. It just felt so right to be with her.

He looked to see that Nicole was still smiling. She subconsciously situated her head more so it was right on his chest. What was she dreaming of? Her future? John? Himself? Then he thought, why did he have to fall in love with his best friend? Why couldn't he just be happy with being her best friend?

He knew why. Nicole was the type of person that draws you in. And when you have the luck to finally be close with her and she counts you as one of your friends, you're just hooked. But in the end he decided to never tell her a thing. It was better if the feelings he had went unspoken.

He went on stroking her hair until she finally stirred from her sleep. She opened her eyes, looked up, and smiled sleepily. He smiled right back at her, "Did I wake you?"

She yawned, "No, I seem to be rested enough . . . what time is it?"

"3:30."

She stayed cuddled in his arms, "Wow, I slept long. Did you sleep at all?"

"Yeah a little." He lied.

She sat up a little and rubbed the sleepiness out of her eyes. He sat up also and said, "You know I meant it, right?"

"Yeah, I know." She replied, "I trust you so easily, Randy." She got up off the bed. She seemed so well rested, "Are you doing anything later?"

"Nope, not a thing."

She smiled, "Do you want to stay and watch a movie or something?"

He looked at the brunette. Looking into her hopeful eyes, there was no way he was going to say no, "Sure."

"Great!" She said enthusiastically and gave him a huge hug. This woman literally had no idea the effect she had on him.

**Nicole's POV**

Randy had just left to go to the video store to get a movie since there was nothing on the TV. I decided to go get a drink of my favorite water since we were out of it already. On my way there, I began to think. I had to get away from Randy for a second. Maybe this whole movie thing isn't a good idea. You see, when I first woke up and I was in his arms, just looking up at him, I wanted him so bad to kiss me.

I know, bad Nicole. But I just don't get it. Does that mean that I love Randy more than just my best friend? I'll admit when we weren't talking, I felt lost. You know, like things weren't going to get better. He means much more to me than I think I don't even understand it myself. So what does that all mean?

I got my water and hurried back up. I was in such a hurry and thinking about this whole thing when I ran right into somebody. I looked up, "I'm so sor—"

It turned out to be John. I could tell he was still really mad at me. But he was a gentleman; he always is no matter what. "I'm sorry. I didn't even see you."

I nodded and just stared at him for a second. I know I probably looked like an idiot. But he was staring at me too. We didn't really know what to say to each other so I broke the awkwardness, "I better go. I'll see you around."

"Yeah see you." Then he went in the opposite direction.

I hate that we fought but I think it was a good thing to. I know we will make up. We always do. But I just want him to understand that I want to be with him so bad. Why can't he see that that is what I really want? I just hope he can figure it out.

I hurried up to my room, trying not to think about John but failed miserably. I saw my light was blinking on my phone, meaning I had a new voicemail. It was just Mickie telling me she wouldn't be back until later. Those two are so cute!!!!

Anyway, I decided to ignore this thing, whatever it was, with Randy. I had to. We just got back to being friends and I'm not screwing it up. I really need him right now. I just put my phone back on the nightstand when Randy knocked but came in anyway. I see he didn't have any movie with him so I asked, "Couldn't find a good enough movie?"

"No, it's not that." Randy began. I looked at him, confused. "While I was on my way there, I saw a little county fair they were having. I know how much you love fairs, so do you want to go there instead?"

I smiled at him, "I would love to go, Rands. That's a great idea."

He smiled back. I swear that I could feel my heart flutter a little. What the hell? "Great, I knew you would like the idea. Well do you want me to leave so you can get ready?"

"Nah, you can just stay here. You got everything you need right?"

"Yeah."

"Well just let me get a shower real quick. I swear I'll try really hard to hurry."

He smirked, "Ok, just hurry your ass up."

I stuck my tongue out at him but hurried up in the bathroom. I came out of the shower in record time I think. I wrapped a towel around my body and dried my hair. I straightened it then put my make up on. I looked decent enough. I looked around for my clothes and realized that I didn't grab any! SHIT!

I had to get clothes though. Oh god! I mean it's not like Randy has never seen me naked before. Because he has, numerous of times, as slutty as that sounds. But that was like over a year ago. So me and my fucking stupidity for leaving my clothes in the suitcase.

I peeked out the door and just hurried over to my suitcase to find clothes. And I knew I wouldn't go unnoticed. Randy turned to me and said, "Nick, what are you doing?"

I knew I was blushing. What the hell? Why was I blushing? "I forgot clothes ok. I know I'm an airhead so you don't have to say it."

I knew he was smirking. I would get him back, "I thought you just wanted to let me see your bod."

I looked at him finally and rolled my eyes, "You wish, Orton."

I hurried back into the bathroom and changed into my ripped jeans and my tight Seether band t-shirt. I walked out of the bathroom and said, "I'm ready."

"Are you sure your dressed?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes again, "Yes, I'm sure."

He smirked at me and grabbed his jacket while I grabbed my little purse. I grabbed my phone and we were off. It took only 10 minutes to get there. We went to get in line when I heard someone yell my name.

I spun around and I saw Mickie of all people coming towards me, "Hey Micks!" I hurried to her and we hugged.

She was the one to speak first, "What are you doing here?"

"Well Randy thought—" I began to say.

"Wait, you're here with Randy?" She said looking at me confused.

I nodded, "It's a long story . . . I'll tell you later. But what are you doing here?"

She smiled, "Chris and I decided to come. That's why I said we were going to be late. We passed it when coming back from lunch and it looks like so much fun! Hey Chris!"

I saw Chris Jericho come over to her and put his arm around her. Are they cute or what? I smiled at him, "Hey Chris."

"Hi Nicole and Randy." He greeted back. I saw that Randy caught up to us after he bought our tickets. He replied back with a "hey" while putting his arm around my shoulders. "I see that everyone decided to come today."

"Why do you say that?" I asked.

"Well because we also saw Jeff, Candice, Maria and John a few minutes ago." Mickie answered for Chris, "They all said hi to me but of course Maria didn't"

Oh great, John's here. Just when I thought I would have a drama free night, Bam! This ought to be fun. He really isn't too happy with me at the moment. "Do you guys want to hang as a group? I think it would be fun. You don't mind, do you Chris?"

He shook his head, "Not at all."

I looked over at my best friend and he smiled at me. He gave a little nod so I turned back to Chris and Mickie, "Yeah, we're game. Lets go." We waited for Chris and Mickie to buy their tickets and then we were off. This fair was so cute. And I liked it because hardly anyone recognized us. Sure a few people did but I liked not being noticed for once.

We rode a lot of rides. What can I say? After rides we got something to eat. I just ate a corn dog and holy shit it was good. I love my fried foods. Randy got one also when he had a bite of mine. He's exactly the same way I am. We also all decided to watch the fireworks that would be going on later tonight.

After we ate, we ran into the other our. I knew it was going to be only a matter of time. I hugged Candice and Jeff but the other two weren't happy. John because well he was still mad at me and I was here with Randy. If you don't remember, that was the person he told to go fuck. Yeah probably not a good situation to be in right now. Maria because of course that bitch hates me with ever fiber in her being.

"So," Mickie broke the silence, "Are you all watching the fireworks tonight?"

"Yeah!" Candice replied, "I definitely want to see them."

The other three nodded. I saw out of the corner of my eye, John looking at Randy then shooting a glance at me. I know what he is thinking right now and I will have to set him straight. I know it's probably killing him right now. Anyway, we all agreed to hang out together. Well Jeff and Candice wanted to join the group and since Maria does whatever Candy does, they agreed too. Since it got dark here around 8:30, we decided to just play some games.

I saw a game where you can win a stuffed penguin. Did I mention how much I love penguins? It was one of those games where you throw a ball at a stack of bottle or something like that. There were 3 sets so Randy, Jeff, and Chris all went. They all won. Chris and Jeff gave their girls teddy bears but Randy did it one more time and won a bigger stuffed penguin.

"Here you go." He held it out to me, "I know how much you love penguins."

I took it from him and smiled, "Thanks Rands." I gave him a kiss on the cheek while he smirked at me.

John looked on or should I say glared on. Oh this isn't going to be a good night. The rest of the time we played games until it was dusk out. Ok, do you ever get the feeling like you really need a huge amount of sugar? Yeah, I thought so. "Hey Rands, let's go get some cotton candy."

"Yeah I knew it was coming. You and your sugar." I stuck my tongue out at him.

"We'll be right back." I said as I was pulling Randy over to the nearest stand.

"Hey get me some of that funnel cake." Mickie yelled.

We got the cotton candy and the funnel cake for Mickie. Of course Randy is paying for everything. I always get frustrated when we go out because he won't let me pay for a thing. Before we got back to our group, Randy asked, "What's up with John?"

Of course I knew what was wrong and it was bad that even Randy had noticed John was a bit off today. I had to lie to him though, "I have no idea."

We got back and I handed the funnel cake to Mickie. We all tried to find the perfect spot to watch the fireworks. We decided to sit on the grass well before Jeff ran out to his car to get blankets. Don't ask me how or why he has them.

We all sat down in twos; of course all couple except for me and Randy. We all just chit chatted with each other. I started shoveling the cotton candy in my mouth and I could see Randy smirking at me out of the corner of my eye.

"Have a problem?" I smirked at him.

"No, I just can't believe how much cotton candy you can eat. You simply amaze me." Randy smiled.

"I know I'm amazing." I said conceitedly, "But you should really try some. This stuff is so delicious."

"No thanks."

I pouted at him and I always got what I want when I pout. What can I say? It's a gift. "Ok. Let me have some."

I took some from the bag and put it in his mouth. "Mmmm that is good. Give me more."

I smiled hugely at him. I fed him more and myself some too. We just started talking about nothing in particular. It was so easy to be with Randy. It's like as easy as breathing. I also began to shiver and Randy handed me his jacket. I took it while smiling at him. I started getting really thirsty and I thought I should get some lemonade before the fireworks started. "Rands, I'm going to get some lemonade."

I stood up and Randy said, "I'll come with you."

"Actually, I'll go with her because I was about to get some also." I knew it was John.

He's up to something and I know it. I was hoping that Randy would insist on coming with us but he just said, "Uhh, ok. Just hurry up, Nick."

I faked a smile, "I will."

Silently, John and I left to go to the lemonade stand. We got our drinks and by the garbage can, we drank them quickly. Well I was trying to anyway. When I thought I was in the clear and we turned to go back, I felt John tug on my arm.

"I need to talk to you. Let's go somewhere real quick." John told me.

See, wasn't I right? "Look John, I don't want to talk right now."

"I think now is a good as time as any." He was looking at me intensely.

I really don't have the energy to talk to him right now. Because I know he's real angry with me right now. I know what he wants to talk about and honestly I would rather not. But of course I give in to him like I always do. "Fine."

We went behind one of the food stands so no one could see us. You know, even though I'm mad at him, this guy still gives me butterflies every time he looks at me. Hmm go figure.

We stand apart from each other and I hugged Randy's jacket closer to me. I finally looked up in his eyes. "What's this thing with Randy?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean him about him not wanting to be friends with him, the suddenly you guys show up together. You act so flirty with him and everything. That type of little thing."

I just looked at him, "Look, Randy came by after you left and apologized to me. So we're friends. Nothing more, nothing less."

"So me saying that you can go fuck him doesn't have anything to do with it?" he asked angrily.

"No John. Randy and I are just friends." What the fuck?

He took his hat off, ran a hand through his brown hair, and put the hat back on. "I just don't get it. Is this just some mind game you're playing to get back at me for not breaking up with Maria?"

"No—" I started to protest.

But he interrupted me, "Because I hate mind games and you know that. You know with you being so flirty with Orton, it seems to me that you just don't care anymore."

I glared at him, ""Don't you dare blame this all on me. First off, I'm sorry for being flirty with Randy in front of you. I don't realize it because that's just the way we are with each other. And second, you just can't seem to get this idea through that thick head of yours. I WANT TO BE WITH YOU!!!!"

"You're sure not acting like it." John said back angrily.

"Well can you blame me?" My anger was calming down. "I want to be with you so much, JJ. But I just can't share you anymore. It hurts . . ."

We just looked at each other. Tension was in the air. "Am I just not enough for you anymore?"

"Jesus Shorty, of course you are." He came closer to me while I just stared at him. "I love you . . . you know that right?"

I looked in his eyes, "Honestly, I don't even know anymore."

I will always love John. He's everything to me and more. But I just can't do this anymore. If he can't choose than I just have to accept that and move on. He looks away from a minute. Then he looks right back into my eyes, "You just got to give me—"

I shook my head. Tears brimmed my eyes. "I can't John!" I cried out, "I can't do it anymore. I think you're being so selfish right now. If you don't want to be with me, just tell me. I can move on. I can't be treated like—"

But I didn't get any further as John grabbed the jacket and pulled me to him; crashing my lips into his. I tried to resist so that I could make a point but I couldn't. I gave in like I always do. I put my hands on the back of his head as he deepened it. He held me tightly to him, not wanting to let me go.

When we are in each other's arms, we're in our own world. I wish we could just run away together right now and never look back. But this isn't some fairytale. This was reality. And I had to realize that John and I don't have a future unless he's willing to have one with me, just me. I pull away reluctantly.

He opens his eyes and I see that I took him off guard. He sees that I'm looking to the ground. I look back into his confused blue eyes and utter, "I can't."

He drops his arms to his side and looks away from me. "We uh . . . better get back."

He started to walk away so I walked behind him. I can't believe I'm actually doing this. But I hope you all can understand that it hurts so much to think that I can't have all of him. I stare at his back as he walks away and I realize that I don't want to lose him either.

"John, wait!!" I yelled to him.

He turned towards me and stared. I caught up to him and threw myself to hug him. He was confused but hugged me back tight. I can't lose John again. I just can't. Because I know if I turn my back on him now, I'll lose him forever. We can never be just friends ever again, we already tried that and look at where we are now. I'll just have to swallow the pain and be with him when I can.

I pull away and say, "I'll give you more time."

"You will?" He questioned.

I nodded, "Yeah . . . I just can't lose you again, JJ."

He stroked my cheek, "And you won't . . . Come on, we'll talk more about this tomorrow."

I smiled lightly, "Yeah tomorrow."

We both walked back to the others and gave each other one last look. I sat beside Randy while he looked me over, "Are you ok?"

I gave him a fake smile but I was glad that I was back here with him, "Yeah I'm fine." He put his arm around me, "So . . . are the fireworks going to start now?"

"Yeah should be any time now."

I felt so comfortable and for a minute, I ignored what John said earlier. I like being near Randy. I cuddled closer to him while he smiled at me and hugged me tighter to him. God, this feels so right. I feel my heart start to pound faster. I got to stop doing this. I'm staring at him until the fireworks finally started.

I ignore the weird feeling I have at the pit of my stomach and look up to watch them. I haven't seen fireworks in such a long time. "They're so beautiful.

"Yeah, they are . . ." Randy said distractedly. They were over after 10 minutes and we all went back to our rentals. I said goodbye to the others as Randy and I got in our car.

We were on our way to the hotel when we started to talk some, "Did you have fun, Nick?"

I smiled, "Yeah, I had a blast! Thanks so much for taking me, Rands."

"No problem." We get to the hotel and Randy walked me up to my hotel room.

I turned to him, "Thanks again, Rands."

He smiled at me, "Your welcome. And I never did get to thank you about the other night." He looked in my eyes, "Thanks for helping. That really meant a lot to me."

"It was really nothing." I protested.

He shook his head, "No, Nick. You swallowed your pride and helped me even though I didn't deserve it. Thank you."

"No problem." I repeated what he said earlier. I smiled at him and his grin grew wider. I swear that my heart did a little flip flop. What the hell? Why am I feeling this way towards Randy? I mean this as my best friend.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Then he gave me a hug. I of course hugged him back. I got butterflies the moment he started to hug me.

I let him go and said, "Of course." Then he walked back towards his room. I hurriedly went in my room and shut the door behind me. I leaned up against the door and let out a breath to try to calm myself.

"Hey Nicks." I jumped at the sound but then I realized that it was only Mickie. "Did I scare you?"

"A little bit." I said. I walked over to my bed and opened my suitcase to find some pj's for me to wear. I looked over at Mickie who I saw was already dressed for bed, "So did Chris kiss you goodnight?"

She smiled happily, "Yeah . . . we're going out again tomorrow."

"That's great, Micks!" I truly said. Chris was a good guy and would treat her right. They are just perfect for each other.

"Yeah, I know." Mickie smiled even bigger. "So did Randy kiss you good night?"

I shot her a very confused look, "No, that wasn't a date Mick."

"Sure didn't look like it to me." Mickie looked at my expression, "Ok, I'm going to ask you this, Nicks so don't get mad, alright?" When I nodded, she asked, "Are you in love with Randy?"

I immediately said, "Randy? As in Randy Orton? No way! That's ridiculous."

"Is it?" She asked, "It doesn't seem so ridiculous to me. I mean you act like you're in love. And I even think that he feels the same way about you."

I gave her a look but thought about something. Maybe this was the time for her to know about Randy and me. She looks at me, "I mean you told me you two were close but you never said how close. Did you two ever . . ."

I know she was too afraid to ask me. I looked at her and sighed. "Ok everything that I tell you will NOT leave this room. I never told anyone this . . . three months after I left John, you know I told you about how Randy and I slept together a few times?"

She nodded, "Well it was a bit more than a few times."

"How much more?"

I took in another breath. "Let me just say we did it a lot more than a few times."

"You're kidding, right?" I know she wouldn't believe it at first.

I looked at her, "No. Look the first couple of times we were really drunk. I know you're thinking about Samantha but this was when they weren't dating exclusively yet. Anyway, I got drunk a lot because I was depressed about John. So I guess it took off from there."

She still waited for me to continue. I wish I knew what she was thinking. "Well when we started to do it sober, that was when things got more complicated. Randy and I didn't think much of it. And I felt bad for him. Samantha had been on him about being exclusive but he didn't want to end it with me."

"That's kind of mean, don't you think?" Mickie inquired.

I thought about it and it did look like Randy was being a jerk. "Maybe you're right. But to be honest, I didn't want it to end either. I feel guilty don't get me wrong. But I just liked the feeling Randy gave me when we were together. And I think that's why he didn't want to stop it either. Because after everything, I know all Randy ever cared about were my feelings."

I paused for a second but then continued, "But he finally had to tell me. he said we had to stop what we were doing because he thought he should be with Samantha and give her what she wants. He didn't want to lose me. So we stopped and I'll admit; it hurt. But we moved on."

Mickie was so entranced by the story, "So it happened just like that?"

"If only it would have been that easy." I stated, "There was just that one time. Randy and Sam had a big fight. It was so bad that Randy had to get away from her so he came to my place. It was hundred of miles away . . . anyway of course I let him come. This was about 3 or 4 months after Channing and I started dating."

I paused again. I was a little afraid of what she would think of me after I tell her this part. But I continued, "I was having trouble with my relationship also. So I was going to ask him to come up to my place anyway. He came down and over a bottle of wine, we talk to each other, trying to calm the other down. Well we got a little tipsy and before I knew it, I was kissing Randy."

"Oh my god!"

"Yeah I know. But I promise that we didn't go farther than that. Randy pulled away from me and we looked into each other's eyes. Finally Randy said that he should go to bed. The next morning, he went back home and we didn't speak to each other for what felt like forever." I shuddered, "I was so miserable."

"What made you guys start to talk again?"

"Well I guess Samantha and Randy were fighting a lot and he became distant towards her. Samantha called me asking me if I could talk to Randy for her. She was crying and telling me that he was in trouble. She told me he went to LA so I started asking around. I eventually found him in a bar, drinking away. He slipped into the way he was before I met him.

"He slipped into it because he had no one to talk to about his problems with Sam. I talked some sense into him and told him I missed him. He missed me too. So after that, we never did anything like that again." I finished.

"Wow." Mickie said, "I swear Nicks, your life could be made into a soap opera."

I hurriedly slipped into my pj pants. "Very funny, Micks." I smiled a little. I'll admit that was hard but it felt good to have someone know.

"This is the last question, I swear." I heard her ask as we were settled into bed. I might as well, she knows everything else.

"Ok, go ahead."

She looked at me, "Did you ever love him? I mean, like in love with him."

I looked away for a second. I don't know if I could tell her but I did once fall in love with Randy. I looked back at her and nodded, "Yeah. It was right before he decided he should be with Samantha. I realized that I was in love with him. I mean, how couldn't I have been? He was there for me and everything . . ."

"So why don't you think you love him now?"

I honestly couldn't give her an answer, "I don't know, Micks."

We finally stopped talking and right before I was drifting off she said, "It's something to think about though."

You know, she's right. Why did I suddenly think I'm not in love with him anymore? I mean, am I still in love with Randy?

**Next Chapter: Now that it seems Nicole and John made up, they spend some alone time. But is this what really Nicole wants? Now that she's having these doubts about Randy, is she in love with him? Will Randy finally tell her how he feels?**

**Also thank you to all of you who voted in my poll. I'm going to keep it up for a few more chapters so it's not to late. So far it's**

**John-16**

**Randy-7**

**Lol it looks like John is in the lead but Randy is coming back into it. If you haven't voted yet, please visit my profile and cast your vote!**


	12. I'm In Love With You

**Thanks to _CraftyTink549_, _RKO.I.F.,_ _fairytink101_, _xAttitudex_, _foolishangel87_, _mp054_, and _BournePriceless54_ for the reviews. I know it has taken me so long but I promise I'm not giving up on the story. I just really have been really busy. I wish I had a laptop but sadly I don't. **

**I thank you all that are reviewing. I'm glad you are enjoying this. And I'm almost to 100 reviews! That is my goal to get so review whenever you're done. Without further delay, here's chapter 12!!!!!!! Enjoy!**

**Chapter 12: **_I'm In Love With You_

I tossed and turned that entire night. I just couldn't sleep after Mickie and I had that talk. It made all my emotions really fucked up. Thanks a lot, Mickie. I look and see that it's around 8:00 a.m. so I hurry to get up. I throw on a pair of old sweats and a black tank top. I figured no one really would be around this early so I took a walk to clear my head. I looked like shit but I was too tired to care.

I went down and got a drink of water. I was on my way back from the vending machine when I heard, "Thought you could get away from me again?"

I turned around and saw John, grinning from ear to ear, coming towards me. I smiled back. It was just then when I realized why I thought I wasn't in love with Randy anymore. I fell back in love with my ex again.

You know, how you have that one person that will always have your heart, no matter what? Yeah, that person for me is John. Yeah, I may have confused feelings for Randy but I'll always, I mean always love John.

He stands in front of me, "What are you doing up so early?"

I tore my thoughts away for a second and shrugged, "I don't know . . . couldn't really sleep." I looked in his blue eyes, "What about you?"

"Eh, the same thing basically." He replied back. He looked back into my eyes and I can tell he's wondering if I have totally forgiven him yet. He doesn't realize that I already have. I smile lightly.

"Let's go. You can buy me breakfast." I winked and he smiled even bigger. He gave me a quick kiss on the forehead after making sure no one was around and we were off to eat.

**One Week Later**

This week seems to feel like it's been dragging. I don't know why I feel like this. I mean, look at this way. I have spent 5 out of the 7 days with John and yeah they have been wonderful but it still doesn't feel right. Maybe it's just because I know that John probably does the same thing with Maria. And let me tell you, that really hurts when you think about it like that.

Don't get me wrong. When we are together, that feels right. But when we have to part from each other, reality sets in with me and I realize that I'm not truly happy. I feel empty.

Right now, the only time I feel better and happy is when Randy and I are together. Yeah, I know I'm confused with my feelings for him but it doesn't feel complicated when it's just me and him.

I smile at the thought of Randy. But then I hear a snore coming from someone beside me. it was John of course. He stayed last night because I guess Maria had to do something. Mickie was at Chris' so it was the perfect plan. My ring tone from my phone drove me from my thoughts. I knew it was Randy because the song was 'Rescue Me' by Hawthorne Heights. I hurried and answered it before John woke up.

"Hey Rands." I greeted.

"Hey Nick, how are you?" He replied happily back.

I smiled. He always seemed like he was happy to hear my voice. "Pretty good um . . . Rands. Could you hold on for a sec?"

"Yeah sure."

I had to do that because John stirred beside me but fell right back asleep. I didn't want to risk waking him up so I slipped into some pjs and went into the bathroom.

"Ok, so what's up?" I asked.

"What were you doing?"

I had to think of something quick. "You just caught me getting out of the shower, that's all."

"Oh . . . You were being so sneaky like, I thought you were up to something." He chuckled in my ear. My heart began to beat faster. God, I have to stop doing that.

I laughed him, "Maybe I was . . . but you will never know, will you?" I sighed a little, "So what's you reason for calling me?"

"I don't know . . . I guess I just missed you." He said shyly.

I smiled. He certainly was a charmer, "No really, why?"

He laughed a little again and my heart beats got quicker, oh god. He replied, "Actually, I wanted to know if you would want to hang out later. Since you know, we haven't in awhile."

"Randy . . . we just hung out all day yesterday."

"Yeah I know, but that was over 12 hours ago."

I giggled, "You're such a dork, Rands . . . but sure I'd love too."

"Great!"

"But you'll have to give me at least give me 2 hours." I looked towards the closed bathroom door. "There's something I have got to do first."

"Ok," He agreed. "Just call or text me whenever you're ready to come over."

We both hung up. I just shook my head. I can't wait to hang out with him. But I know John's not going to be too happy about it. But hey, I'm kind of frustrated with him lately so screw it.

I walk out of the bathroom and see John, still snoring away. I had to smile. He was in the middle of the bed now, turned towards me, looking so peaceful. I just couldn't help myself. I slipped into bed and cuddled up to him. I put my arms close to me and put my face in his bare chest.

Subconsciously, he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. I loved to hear the sound of his heartbeat. I wish we could just stay like this but I hear him stirring from his sleep. I look up a he is just opening his eyes.

He smiles, sleepily, "Hey Shorty."

"Hey . . . sorry, did I wake you?"

"Yeah, kind of." He said honestly, "But it's ok. I don't mind that I'm waking up to you, especially when I'm this comfortable."

He cuddled closer to me and sighed. He lightly traced circles on my back with his fingers. I really wish we never had to move. And as if he read my mind, he asked, "How about we just lay in bed, all day?"

I smiled. I closed my eyes for a minute before opening them again. "You know we can't John."

"And why not?"

I looked at him, "You know how the outside world always seems to interfere."

He looked deep into my blue eyes, "Yeah I know . . . but let them to try to interfere this."

He put his hand gently under my chin and gave me a sweet kiss on the lips. As I was deepening it, I had my hands around his neck. I pulled him closer to me as he gently rolled on top of me. He kept deepening the kiss as his hand traveled down my side. Since he was already naked from last night, I didn't have to do anything. His hand traveled down to my leg and hooked it around his waist. I was in heaven. He made everything tingle like I was just hit with a lightning bolt.

But then I hear my phone go off again. I open my eye and I hear John mumble "no". I go back to kissing him but look to see who it was. It was Samantha so I know that she will want to talk forever. Oh screw it, I'll call her later. I put it on the nightstand and wrap my arms tighter around John. His hands went to the bottom of my tank top when his phone started going off. He groaned.

He pulled away to look and see who it was. I say to him, "Please, no."

He looks at me sadly, "I have to answer it, Shorty. It's Maria." He rolls off me, entangles himself from my arms, and answers the phone.

While he is just jabbering away on the phone, an idea popped into my head. It's so good; I don't know why I never thought of it before. I smiled a little to myself, knowing that this was smart. John was sitting on the side of the bed, sheet wrapped around his waist, and his back to me. I got out of bed and went to stand in front of him. I playfully played with the bottom of my spaghetti strapped tank top. John just rolled his eyes playfully but was watching me.

I smirked evilly. While John talked away on the phone with Maria, I walked over slowly and straddled him, sitting on his lap. He kept shaking his head at me but I ignored him. I wrapped my arms around him and started kissing his neck. I was close enough to the phone to hear Maria.

"So I want to be picked up at the airport by 3:30 ok, John . . . John!" Maria's whiney voice asked. I swear how can he stand her?

"Yeah . . . I hear-r-rd you." He stuttered. He was biting down really hard on his lower lip, trying to stifle a moan. All in good fun . . . right? I started moving down to his weak spot.

"Oh God!" He slipped out.

"What?" Maria said frantically.

I smiled. This was a lot of fun. Best idea I ever had. John said hurriedly, "I uh . . . forgot I had-d-d to workout. I'll talk to you later, Maria. Uh . . . 3:30, I'll be there." He hung up the phone.

I immediately put my head up, "Are you off the phone?"

He shot me a look, "Like you didn't know . . . that was dirty, Shorty."

I smirked but shrugged. I hugged him to me and he wrapped his arms around me. I knew he wasn't mad. "She was cutting into my time with you . . . I know when she gets back, it's back to only seeing you twice a week alone. She's trying everything to keep you away from me."

I sighed because I knew that was exactly what she was going to do. I pulled away to look into his eyes. He didn't say anything so I took that as a yes. And somehow, that stung a bit. I gave him a quick kiss on the lips and let go of him. "I'm going to get a shower."

I started to walk around the bed to get to the bathroom when John gently grabbed my wrist. I watched as he stood up and looked into my eyes. "I love you, Shorty. Just never forget that, ok?"

He knew I needed to hear it. I just feel like I really don't know what I'm doing. And all the reasons why I'm doing this are slipping away. It all comes down to one solid conclusion; I love him. And that reason seems to be enough for me.

I smile a little, "I won't . . . I love you too, JJ."

He kissed my forehead and threw on his clothes from last night. He went out the door and I hurried to go get ready for Randy. Hopefully, he could get my mind off things. I didn't know how right I was.

**One Hour Later**

I'm standing outside Randy's door, waiting for him to answer it. I hear rushing inside and he opens the door. I was hoping to see his smiling face but he face was all serious. "We need to talk."

I gave him a questioning look but I hurried inside. It must be important. When I'm in, he hurries and pulls out his phone. "Rands, what is it?"

He doesn't say anything to me at first but then asks, "Did Samantha try to call you?"

Hmmm why would he be asking me this? They were broken up, weren't they? "As a matter of fact she did. But I was in the middle of getting ready so I just let it go to voicemail."

"Did you listen to the message?"

I shook my head but now he got me curious. What could be going on that he was asking me this? I dug out my phone and put it on speaker. I played the message and boy Samantha was on a mission.

"I can't fucking believe this! How could you do this to me, Nicole? I thought we were good friends but I guess that isn't true anymore! If I would have known the slut that you really are, I would have made Randy stay away from you! I bet you guys are fucking around right now because he's not answering his fucking phone either! Well I hope you are having fun with my man, bitch! Have a nice life!"

I just stood there, speechless. I've never heard Samantha talk to me like that . . . ever. Why all of the sudden is she calling me? More importantly, why is she so pissed off with me? I know her and Randy broke up but why is she doing this a week later? You know, I was never told why they broke up. Randy interrupted my thoughts, "I'm going to give her a call so I can get to the bottom of this. I'll be right back."

Then he walks away. Something is going on and I think Randy has an idea. I go and sit on his messy bed and just stared off into space. I picked up my phone and aimlessly looked through my pictures, I still had my phone from like 3 years ago so the pictures of John and I were still on there. But what caught my attention was the number of pictures of Randy and I. I don't know why but there had to of been close to 50 of them.

Some were funny; others were just plain random. But that was the way we were. It made me smile while looking at the pictures; forgetting about what was going on now. One in particular caught my eye. From the background, I could tell we were standing in Randy's kitchen. This must have been one of those times where I just randomly wanted to take a picture. I had an arm wrapped around his shoulders and his arms were around my waist. We were hugging each other and smiling like we just told some funny joke. I know what you're thinking right now, what's the big deal? Well, you didn't see the picture.

I studied our faces. Randy had a certain glow about him. He had this look in his eyes that seemed not real. A look that looked like he had just won the billion dollar lottery. I've only seen that look once before. John had it when he looked at me. Randy was probably just thinking about Samantha. But what confused me the most was that the look was in my eyes too. I looked for the date the picture was taken and saw it was taken 8 months after I left John. In the picture, I looked . . . happy and in love. All this could add up to one thing; I'm in love with my best friend, Randy Orton.

Sure, I'm still in love with John. But it explains everything I have been feeling towards Randy lately. It explained why my heart beat faster whenever he was around, or why I just feel so happy when I'm with him. It even explains why I can't get that kiss out of my head. I'm in love with Randy. I think I always have been ever since I left John. Oh my god, what was I going to do then?

Randy's sudden appearance interrupted my rambling thoughts, "I talked to . . . hey Nick, are you ok?"

I looked up at him, "Uh . . . yeah. I'm fine . . . just thinking." I stood up, closing my phone. He looked at me concerned and confused at the same time. I just need to calm down. I'm trying to ignore the flip flop feeling in my stomach ever since I saw him looking at me. Oh yeah, I'm head over heels for him. Dammit.

I sucked in a breath to calm myself, "So did you talk to Sam?"

That snapped him back to reality, "Yeah . . . she was pretty pissed off."

I looked at him, concerned. "What's wrong, Rands . . . what did she say?"

He stared into my blue eyes, "First, I have to ask you this, Nick. What exactly happened that night you helped me when I was drunk?"

"Why is that important?" I asked. Inside, I was freaking out as of now.

"Trust me, it's got importance."

I thought of what I should say. I walked over to him, still under his piercing gaze. It made butterflies rise in my stomach. "Well . . . we just kissed . . ."

His eyes got wide. Then he pinched the bridge of his nose, "Kissed? . . . you mean like a peck or—"

I shook my head, "No, more like making out."

Randy went and sat on the bed and put his head in his hands. I sat down beside him. What was this reaction? I think he's frustrated. Oh god. Finally, he looks up at me, "I'm sorry Nick."

"You have nothing—"

"Oh please, Nick. Quit letting me off the hook. I shouldn't have kissed you and you know it." He lets a big sigh escape form his lips. "No wonder Sam is so mad at me. She has every right to be . . ." He stares at me, "Are you sure we didn't go further than that. You can tell me, Nick. It's my fault."

"I promise that we didn't." I didn't want to add that I had to stop it. He looked so guilty. He must think I was mad or something. If only he knew . . . "Wait how does Samantha know about this?"

Randy looked at the ground, "I guess someone saw you coming out of my hotel room with your lip gloss all smeared and your clothes were all messed up . . . then I guess it got back to her somehow."

I know it was fucking Maria. Next time I see her, I swear I'm killing that bitch. I took Randy's hand in mine, sparks definitely shooting through me. Yeah, I'm definitely in love with him. "I'm sorry, Rands."

He looks back in my blue eyes. "Nick, this isn't your fault. I shouldn't have gotten drunk in the first place. So don't you dare blame yourself. I think you should have just left me there . . . but you're the only one who seems to care about me anymore."

Randy put his eyes back to the floor again. I decided to change the subject. "I mean, why is she mad? You guys were broken up so it's not like you cheated on her."

He didn't say anything. Wait a minute, did he cheat on her? "Rands . . . you didn't."

He looked up, "The reason why we broke up was because I did cheat." My eyes got wide, "But not the way you think. It would have been easier that way."

"What do you mean?"

Randy took in a breath. He was really nervous, I could tell. I can read him like a book, "I didn't do anything . . . it was my feelings. I fell in love with someone else . . . even though I was still in love with Samantha."

I just stared at him. He fell in love with someone else other than Sam? Worse, other than me? I know that's pretty selfish to think. But the more I spend time with him, the more I realized that I was really in love with him. And that's not good. Because I'm in love with John too and now he's in love with someone else. God, why does my life have to get more complicated?

I look at him more then ask, "Who is she?"

He shakes his head, "It doesn't matter . . . she . . . uh kind of belongs to someone else."

"What is so hard about a name . . . do I know her?"

he looked like he was thinking of how to carefully word it. "Yeah, you know her enough."

"Oh come one, Randy. Just tell me. I mean what have you got to lose?"

He looked away from me, "I'm afraid I'm going to lose everything."

"Rands . . . you won't lose everything. You'll still have me."

He looks deep in my eyes and it's making my heart thump a lot. He puts his hand on my cheek but I kept my gaze on him, ignoring the sparks. " . . . It's you."

"What?"

He sighed, nervously, "It's you, Nicole . . . I fell in love with you."

I was speechless for the second time tonight. Was he really telling me this? I think my heart just stopped. I wasn't expecting that and I knew I was trembling. Randy took this as a bad thing because he withdrew his hand from my face. He turned away about to get up but I hurriedly put my hand on his shoulder. He looked at me while sitting back down, "I'm sorry, Rands . . . I'm just shocked is all. I mean, you sure had a funny way of showing it."

"I thought it would be better if I didn't tell you. And if we stopped being friends . . . but it killed me every time that I couldn't talk to you. I just didn't feel right."

I nervously took his hand, "I felt the same way . . . I'm really lost without you, Rands."

He put his hand against my cheek again. Our eyes locked and I just knew he couldn't help it. There I was wishing he would kiss me. I wanted to feel his lips on mine again. He starts to lean in a little and my heart beats are pounding in my ears. He hesitates, waiting to see if I wanted to. I closed the gap between us; our lips connected. A jolt of pure electricity ran throughout my body and it was like the world stopped. He kissed me back, slowly but it got more heated as I deepened it. His hand went from my cheek to my neck then stopped at the small of my back; pulling me tighter to him.

I held his face in my hands as he deepened it more. Shivers went down my spine. His lips were so soft and I loved the taste of his breath; it made all the blood run out of my head. I was on cloud nine. I wrapped my arms around him pulling him tighter to me. There was literally no space between us. I didn't even notice that he was on top of me and we must have fallen back on the bed.

His hands disappeared under my shirt and my own slipped under his. My skin was craving and screaming for his. I was on fire but the good kind of fire; the fire of passion. God, I wanted him so bad. But even though my body and my heart screamed go for it, my head bashed some sense into me.

I reluctantly pulled away. I had to before I changed my mind. The locket felt like it was burning on my skin. Randy stopped and looked down into my eyes. He gently got off me as I sat up to. "I can't do this."

"I'm sorry—" Randy started.

I shook my head, "No, I just need some air . . . I uh will see you at the arena tonight."

Tears came to my eyes because I was just so confused. I hurry out of his room before he sees me. I don't want him to feel bad because he didn't do anything wrong. I just couldn't tell him that I was in love with him too. Because right now, I'm still in love with John. I try to hurry to my room. I know tears are probably falling down from my eyes and I have no idea why. I wiped them away quickly and got in the door.

I look around and saw that another WWE Raw diva was in the room and it's wasn't Mickie like I expected. It was my sister, Ashley.

**Next Chapter: Ashley is finally back and she could have come at a better time. Now that Nicole realized that she is in love with Randy, what is she going to do? Especially when she knows Randy is in love with her too. Randy and her talk about what happened so what is she going to say? Is she finally going to tell Randy? But what about John?**

**I've closed my poll on my profile so visit my profile to look at the results!**


	13. I Love You Too

**Thanks to CraftyTink529, , foolishangel87, BournePriceless54, sinwhitip, and xAttitudex for the reviews. I finally his 100 reviews!!!!! Yay I'm happy I could break that record finally and I have you guys to thank. Thanks so much and hope you are enjoying the story. **

**Sorry again for such a late update but school is killing me. Did you know John Cena's birthday was Thursday. He's 32! Sorry if you didn't know lol. Anyway get on with the story! Enjoy!**

**Chapter 13: **_Surprises_

"Ashley?!" I yelled in surprise. She was sitting on my big and gave me a huge, warm smile. Then she came running towards me and gave me a huge hug. I never realized how much I really missed my sister.

"Oh, how I have missed you, Nikki!" She squealed.

"I missed you too, Ash!" I hugged her again, "But what are you doing back so soon?"

"Honestly, I missed you and everyone else too much!" She explained. "And I wanted to make sure you were ok . . . about you know the whole Channing thing. He was such a dick. I knew I never liked him."

I smiled, "I'm totally over it, really."

Then I knew it was coming. I mean this was my sister, so she could totally tell something was up. "Are you ok, hun? You honestly look like you're hiding something."

That's when I did it. I broke down and told her everything. It spilled from my mouth without even me thinking about it. Ashley really supported me though. She listened to everything I told her without interrupting. She could really tell I was torn up about the whole thing.

"Remind me never to leave you for more than a week again." Ashley said, attempting to lighten the mood. "Oh Nikki, I'm sorry I wasn't here for you."

I smiled lightly, despite my tear stained face. "Don't be. You were off on your honeymoon having fun like you should have been. Besides, surprisingly I became really close with Mickie James."

"Shocker." She gave me a big hug, "And I'm sorry that you are so confused. I wish I could help in some way."

She wiped the remaining tears from my eyes. " . . . John is going to have a little talk with me."

"Ash, no. it's not all his fault . . ."

"Nikki, he's hurting you. Intentional or not, it doesn't matter."

I just shrugged but sent a silent prayer out for John. When my sister's mad, you better run. "Thanks anyway . . . hey, where is Matt anyway?"

"Oh, he's down in the lobby, getting our room number."

Then it took off from there. I asked her about the honeymoon and she just went on and on about it. I could tell she was really happy and I was happy for her.

"You coming to the arena tonight?" I asked her.

"Hell yeah." She smiled, "We called Vince ahead of time. So I'm making an appearance tonight."

"That's great, Ash!"

Ashley nodded excitedly, "Yeah . . . so you want to do something before we have to go to the arena?"

"Sure, but what about Matt?"

She smiled at me, "He'll be fine without me for a couple of hours, don't you think? We can go shopping!"

I smiled back. I was sincerely glad she was back. I know that I would never have made it through half of the stuff without her. "Let's go then." After I fixed my makeup, we were off. Glad that I could get my mind off things for a couple of hours.

**At the Arena; After my match**

"You did great, Ash!" I praised to my sister. The Massaro sisters were back in action and we kicked ass!

"Thanks. We definitely kicked the other divas' asses." My blonde sister smiled, excitedly.

We were walking down the hall as Raw was coming to a close. Ashley and I were just laughing and talking to get back to the Diva locker room. We were just about there when I saw Randy walking in our direction. He didn't seem to notice me yet but he looked like his mind was elsewhere. We stopped walking but I kept my gaze on him. Ashley stops talking and looks to see what I'm concentrating on.

Just then, Randy meets my gaze. My heart speeds up as he comes closer. His expression is unreadable. He smiles a little and for what seems like forever, greets, "Hey Nick, hey Ash."

"Hey Randy" Ashley smiles warmly.

I can't help but smile back. I definitely know I'm in love with him by this point. "Hey Rands."

I can tell now that he feels guilty about what happened earlier. I can see it in his eyes. He thinks I might be mad at him or something. He has no idea that I feel the same way about him. Since he's still unsure, he turns his attention to Ashley. "How was the honeymoon?"

"Great. But Matt and I are glad to be back at work."

"Yeah. No ring rust I saw out there so you did a fantastic job." Randy smiled more making my heart flip flop. "Well I got to go. But umm Nick, can you meet by catering in about 5 minutes?"

I nodded, "Sure."

And with another quick goodbye, he left. After I watched him go, unaware that my sister was watching me, I looked back at my sister, "What?"

"Nikki, you're in love with him, aren't you?"

All I told my sister was that I was really starting to like Randy. Never said anything about love, "Uh . . . no. What makes you say that?"

Ashley thought a minute then said, "It's the way you look at him . . . it's so adoringly. I haven't seen that look in your eyes since well John."

I looked to the floor guiltily. She doesn't realize that makes me feel so damn guilty. I knew that her gaze was still on me. "Nikki, just tell him."

I shook my head, "I can't."

"Yes you can."

"No, I can't. It wouldn't be fair to him, Ash." I looked up at my sister, "I'm still in love with John too. I don't want to get his hopes up and then have it all crashing down on him . . . I care about him way too much to let that happen."

Ashley just nodded, "Sure but Nikki, sometimes it's worth it you know?"

I shook my head, "Not if it's going to hurt him like I know it will."

"Nikki, Randy is a big boy and I think he deserves to know. Because in the end, you have to choose between them anyway. No matter how much you don't want it to happen, you're going to end up hurting one or the other in the end and even yourself."

She checked the time, "It's almost time. I think you should go meet him."

I nodded and gave her a hug. I went to catering and waited outside of the doorway. Then I saw him, I mean Randy. He only had on a navy blue t-shirt and dark faded jeans but of course he looked like his gorgeous self. God, I have to stop thinking like that.

He smiles a little and I see his eyes brighten as he saw me. I greet with a quick, "Hey Rands."

"Hey Nick . . . do you want to take a walk?" He looks at me with those aqua colored blue eyes of his so I can't say no to him. He makes me weak in the knees with just a gaze.

"Sure."

We start on our way to the exit and we are silent the whole entire time. I sneak glances at him as my stomach fills with butterflies. My hands are tingling like they want to go and reach for his hand. But I command myself to not do it/ images of earlier are bombarding me and I just want to kiss him.

The cool air hits me when we step outside. I found this as an excuse to try not to look at him anymore. He stopped and touched my shoulder to signal to me to stop too. Electric sparks tingled my skin.

"I have to say something to you . . ." He starts as I meet his gaze, "I'm sorry about earlier."

"Rands—" I start to protest. He really has no reason to blame himself.

"No, let me finish, Nick. You kind of have a record of letting me off the hook." He smiles and I close my mouth. "I thought I should explain. I fell in love with you, Nick. But the more I thought about it today, the more I have realized that I was always in love with you."

I kept quiet as he continued, "I mean I remember what I was like before I met you. I slept with a different woman each night. I drank like a fish and smoked pot every other day. I had been suspended about 4 times out of that year. I was on the verge of losing my dream. I was just about to give up. Then you came along."

He looked down at the ground but then quickly looked back into my eyes. "At first, I thought you were going to be just like any other woman I have met. But then I got to know you and realized that you were different. So when I asked you to be my girlfriend, there was a different feeling inside of me. Something like how can I really make this work. I really wanted to try with you and I couldn't explain why. But I am a jealous person. So after we broke up, I went back tot hat life but it just didn't feel right anymore."

I smiled a little, "Then 6 months later, we started talking and being friends with each other. It was a little weird but I was willing to be there for you. You made me realize that I was destroying myself and you gave my passion for this business back. I can never repay, no matter how long I live."

I gave him a look. All I could think to myself was whatever I did to make him turn his life around, I was grateful. Randy is a better man. And I was so proud of him. "Now that I know I'm in love with you, I realized I have always felt about you that way. I figured out why I tried so hard when I was with you . . . I loved you. I love you now. Always have, always will . . . so that's why I'll wait."

I gave him a confused look. "Wait?"

"I wasn't kidding when I said the woman I love belonged to someone else . . ." Randy looked straight into my blue eyes, "I know what you and John are doing, Nick."

"How did you—"

He held up his hand. "Nick, I have been your best friend for three years. At least give me some credit. But I also can see that you're not completely happy." He puts his had on my cheek gently. Sparks shot through my skin again. "I can make you happy, Nick."

I know that. I know he can make me happy. I'm just holding back and he knows it. I place my hand over his as more sparks go through and it burns my skin. "Can you feel that?"

He knew exactly what I was talking about, "All the time."

Our eyes locked, "Rands, I'm so confused right now. But all I know is that I don't want to hurt you."

"This isn't about me, Nick. It all depends on who you want to be with. Don't do anything you don't want to. As long as you're happy, I'll be happy."

Why wouldn't I be with Randy? Better question, why wasn't I already? He's in love with me as I am in love with him too. I see a future in him, I really do. But I know the answer, John.

I look deep into his eyes. All thoughts of John slip away as I look into them. I probably shouldn't but I just can't help it. I put my hand on the other side of his face and he does the same. I lean and press my lips to his.

Instantly, like he was an electric outlet, heat and longing flew throughout my body. Every nerve ending in my body felt like it was on fire. I wrapped my arms tighter around him while he deepened the kiss. His hands slid down to my waist and pulled on my belt loops of my jeans so I was pressed up against him. I felt the coldness of the cement wall that I was up against and it cooled my skin but only for a moment. I began to lose my breath but I was in love. This felt so right.

I feel his hands disappear under my shirt and at the small of my back. All I kept thinking was it didn't matter the situation; I wanted Randy and only him. This was so different from last time. My head was finally telling me to go for it. I ran my fingers through his short hair and then they came to his jeans. But as soon as I was sure that I was giving in and he felt where my hands were, he stilled his lips and tried to push me away.

"Nick . . . no not this way."

I knew how I would react. I wrapped my arms around him tighter and acted like I didn't hear him. I wanted Randy so bad and I didn't care where we were and why we shouldn't. My skin tingled as I kissed him again. He gave in like I knew he would. I deepened the kiss this time but just when I thought I had him, he grabbed a hold of my shoulders and put distance between us.

He shook his head, "No, Nick. We can't do this right now."

My head was still all cloudy and I felt like I was high or something. All I really heard was no. Why would he do that? "But I want you, Rands."

He looks into my eyes and for a minute I think he's going to kiss me again. Randy puts his hands on my cheeks and I get anxious. My heart beats faster and desire shoots through me. But he says, "I want you too, Nick . . . but you're confused. You're not sure of your feelings for me. I don't want you to do something I know you will regret."

He kisses my forehead, "I love you, Nick."

Happiness instantly strikes me. My heart swells and I know that he is sincere. It's nice to know that someone really does love me since I'm not so sure of John anymore. He walks back towards the arena and I just can't hold it anymore. He does deserve the right to know. However selfish this may be, "Rands, wait!"

Randy turns around, "Yeah?"

I start breathing irregularly even before I jog towards him. I look into his eyes and say, "You're wrong, Rands."

He raises an eyebrow in confusion. I continue and try to work up the nerve, "I do know how I feel about you and I'm not confused . . . Rands, I'm in love with you too."

His eyes widened a little. He wasn't expecting that. I gave him a hug as were escaping my eyes. He hugs me back tight before releasing me.

"Why are you crying?"

I wipe my tears and sniffled, "I don't think it's fair to you, Rands. What if it doesn't work out the way you want it to? It's just going to make the pain greater."

He wipes the remaining tears from my eyes. "Nick . . . I would rather know how you feel about me than wonder what could have been if you were in love with me too."

I smiled a little. He smiled back, "I better get going. I was supposed to be at Vince's office a couple of minutes ago." He gave me a peck on the lips, "I'll talk to you later, yeah?"

I nodded, "Of course."

He smiled again before walking back into the arena. I wonder how Randy could love me after knowing everything about John and I. he doesn't know that I have always been in love with him since the time that I left John. I knew he always thought that he was the rebound. It might have been at first but I fell in love with him. So how in the hell am I going to chose? God, I need some alcohol.

**One Week Later**

I still haven't made a decision. Randy and I hang out of course, but we are not talking about the whole thing. He's patient and I couldn't ask for a better person than him. Even though the whole time we hang out was friends, I just want to jump his bones. I know not now.

John has been distant towards me. I tried calling him a lot over the past week but he's not answering his phone. I really need to talk to him. I saw him a couple of times but he was always with Maria.

I caught him a few times looking at Randy and I. Not like glaring but just watching us. I don't know but it kind of seems like John knows what is going on but how could he? Randy and I have kept quiet about it. But anyway, tonight I've decided enough was enough about John ignoring me. After everything was done with the house show, I went to his locker room. I know he will be in it because he has just done a match and I know it will take him awhile to take off.

On my way there, I saw Maria, alone, coming towards me like she probably just came back from his locker room. She looked up at me, giving me the dirtiest look that she has ever given me but I chose to ignore it. She had tears streaming down her eyes. Wonder what that's all about?

I knocked on his door and he answered quickly, "Look Maria, I said I was—Nicole?"

I smiled, "Hey there, stranger . . . uh do you mind if I come in for a little bit?"

"Umm sure." He stepped aside as I walked past him to go sit down on his couch. He sat a couple feet away from me on the couch just staring at me.

I met his gaze, "So why have you been avoiding me, JJ?"

"What do you mean?"

"JJ, you have been avoiding my calls and you have been stuck to Maria like glue. I don't get what's wrong with you or what I have done. I thought we were fine."

John still didn't stop looking at me, "I heard what you and Randy were talking about a week ago."

I looked to the floor. I just couldn't look at him right now because I felt so guilty and don't know why. "The whole thing?"

"No, I left when you guys . . ."

He couldn't finish, which was either from anger or upset. I finally have the courage to look up at him but I see him looking to the floor. "I was pissed at first. You don't know how bad I wanted to pull Orton off you and beat the shit out of him. But I sort of understood and just walked away."

"Is that why you were avoiding me?"

John shook his head, "No . . ." he looked up into my eyes and with a lot of sincerity said, "I was trying to prepare myself to let you go . . ."

I threw him a shocked look, "What? Let me go?"

He took my hand, "What Orton said hit home to me, Shorty. I was too busy wrapped up in myself to realize that you were miserable. And for as long as I live, I can not forgive myself for that . . . I'm sorry."

I nodded. I know he was truly sorry for the pain that he has caused me and I forgive him just like that. But he continues, "So when I realized that, I though you could do better. Orton would be the best for you and I know how much he loves you. I can just see it in his eyes . . . I was willing to give you up . . . but I'm going to be selfish yet again. I just can't let you go, Shorty."

"JJ . . ."

"Wait let me finish . . ." he said. "I'm going to fight for you, just like Orton. Maybe even harder. I've already broken up with Maria—"

"You broke up with Maria?" I asked, totally shocked out of my mind.

He nodded, "Just don't give up on me just yet. Like Orton, I will wait until you make your decision. But I want you to remember one thing . . ."

He put my face in his hands and said, "I love you, Shorty. I love you more than anything else in this world. You are my world and without you I don't know how I will make it. Didn't work before and it never will work."

He gave me a quick kiss on the lips and I was so touched. I mean it floored me. to be honest I was leaning towards Randy. But everything that John has said now, I really do need to reassess everything.

I smile lightly, "I love you too, JJ. Just never forget that."

He smiles too, "I won't. so I'll see you tomorrow, ok?"

"Yeah." And I give him a peck on the lips and make my exit.

I walk back to get my things. Luckily, I drove Ashley up and she's riding back with Matt. Mickie is going to be with Chris all night, so I get to have my much needed alone time. I finally arrive at my hotel room and get to my room. I take a long hot shower and change into a pair of shorty shorts and a white tank top.

I don't really want to think. Seriously, I can't win either way. I'll end up hurting someone in the end and myself. I'm in desperate need of alcohol again. I throw my damp hair into a ponytail and grab Randy's black zip up hoody that he's left here. I grab my key and head down to the bar. I order a bottle of Jack Daniels and sit for awhile. Then I hear,

"Nicole? What are you doing down here so late?"

I turn to see none other than Dave Batista. I've talked to him a lot actually since him and Randy are good friends. I've come to him a lot with advice because he's just so easy to talk to. He hasn't been around for a few months because Randy 'punted' his head.

I smiled, "Dave!" I ran and hugged him. I kind of looked up to him as a father figure. Even though he's only about 10 years older than me.

"Hey kiddo, how have you been?"

"So, so" I said, "Want a drink?"

He smiled, "Sure bring it on."

We caught up with each other. The real reason he has been gone because he wanted to see if there was any way he could save his marriage. It turns out that they have decided to get a divorce. I felt so sorry for him because he really does love his wife with all his heart. "I'm sorry, Dave."

"Thanks, kiddo. I think we will eventually find our way back to each other though. Just a feeling." He explained, "So what's been going on with you."

I shrugged. He raised an eyebrow, "That bad, huh? Wanna talk about it?"

I shook my head, "Not really."

He went back to drinking his whiskey. I loved that about Dave. He waits until I want to talk about it without pushing me. I don't know, maybe he could help. "Hey Dave."

"Hmm?" He looked over at me.

"Say somebody is in love with two different people. You know, they are special in their own ways. How do you choose between them when you love them both the same amount?"

"Did Orton finally tell you?" Dave asked.

"Umm yeah . . ."

"Finally! That boy has been in love with you since the day he met you." Dave said jokingly but I knew it was true.

"Umm, Dave. The question." Secretly smiling to myself.

"Oh right, sorry." Dave looked at me, "Well I think it doesn't have to do with how much you love them. It's all about who you see yourself with."

"What if you see a future with both?"

"Hmm . . ." He mulled over in his head for a little bit. "If that's the case, you need to figure out which one you simply can't live without. Like if you go back and think if you didn't meet that person, what life would have been without them."

I scrunched my nose in confusion, "I don't really get what you mean."

"Ok . . . how about this way? I believe that in this life, there are two people that you truly want to be with. One is considered the love of your life and the other would be your true love or 'soul mate'."

"What's the difference?"

"The love of your life is someone who you want to be with and most likely the one who you want to spend the rest of your life with. You see yourself with him and are happy with that. But your true love is a whole different story. Your true love is someone who you are meant to be with and need to be with. You can't live without him even if you wanted to."

That made sense. Dave is right. But the problem is, I need to figure out which one is which. I smiled at him, "Thanks Dave. That helps a lot."

"No problem." He checked his watch, "I have to go . . . I see you next week, kiddo."

I gave him a big hug, "See you later, Dave."

He gives me one last nod before walking off. So there I sit at the bar, trying to figure out what the hell I'm going to do. Who will I choose to spend the rest of my life with?

**Next chapter: After her talk with Dave, Nicole finally makes her decision. Who is she truly meant to be with? I'm telling you, it's going to be very emotional when she has to tell the other she didn't choose him.**

**A/N: foolishangel87: if you could pm me soon, I would really like to ask you about something. So pm me if you ever get the chance.**


	14. Fall To Pieces

**Thanks to _foolishangel87_, _mcena99_, _.fan54_, _beautifultradegyxxx_, _althea293_, _CraftyTink529_, and _xAttitudex_ for the reviews. Sorry about the 2 month long wait for this. I wish I could explain myself because of my 18****th**** birthday and graduation, it was hard. But I got my own laptop so the updates should be faster. I picked to update today because John Cena's new movie comes out on DVD today. Definitely buying it lol**

**Anyway, I won't keep you waiting any longer. Enjoy! I hope I didn't lose my faithful reviewers!**

**Chapter 14: **_Fall To Pieces_

"_I'm letting go. Not because I want to… but because I have to."_

I just fucking woke up with the hugest hangover that I ever had. It's already noon and I just about wasted the entire day. I always hate when I sleep away half the day. _I _hurried and got out of bed and jumped in the shower, hopefully to cure my huge headache. It kind of does. I changed into a black tank top and a light pair of destroyed jeans.

The whole time, Randy and John are running through my mind. I still have no idea what is going to happen or who I have chosen. I tried doing the whole pros and cons thing but it just kept coming up even. This is all just too much. I just wish I could have both of them but I know, it's not possible.

I walk down the lobby to see if they have any French vanilla cappuccinos. You know? Just when I think I have everything all figured it out, I come up with something else and then I'm just all confused again.

John has always been there for me, when I let him anyway. Through all the shit that went on, he never wanted to throw in the towel. He stuck it out with me… and even better, he still loved like no one else on the planet. But then there's Randy. No way I deserved his unconditional friendship towards me. He will sacrifice everything, and I mean everything just to see me happy. And he's always been the one constant in my life. Ugh… now my head feels worse.

I was on my way back, cappuccino in hand, not even minding where I was going, when I hit something hard. I almost went tumbling to the ground until two big strong arms caught me and pulled me to him. My cappuccino went all over the floor. I already knew who it was without even having to look at him, or even hear his voice. I instantly melted to the touch and felt whole, like I was somehow empty inside. This was him, my true love that Dave was talking about.

I looked up into his bright blue eyes. He looked at me, concerned, "Shorty, are you ok?"

I smiled up at John, "Yeah, couldn't be better… that was kind of my fault. Sorry about that JJ, I really wasn't looking where I was going."

He smiled at me, showing those infamous dimples of his, "It's fine, Shorty, really." He picked up my empty cappuccino cup and threw it in the trash for me. "Anyway, I'm glad I found you. Tomorrow, do want a ride up with me to the next houseshow?"

I let go of him, "Sure, I'd like that."

"Great, so I'll see you tomorrow then." He gave me a hug and then a kiss on the cheek. I started on my way back towards my room completely happy.

You all knew it was going to be John, right? I knew deep down that he was my true love. I remember back to the day we first met… it was disastrous. But I knew then what I know now, I'll always be safe with John. He has saved me numerous times, both physically and emotionally. We fit so perfectly together. I was like we were made just for the other. And I have said this before, John Cena will always have my heart.

Even though he has been kind of a jerk lately, I know he really does love me. I feel like we have finally been given a second chance and I don't want to screw that up. And I know it's weird, but I just feel complete when he's around. Like I finally found my other half and I know I did. I'm happy I finally made my decision… but the happiness was short lived. I still had to tell Randy.

Oh god! I don't know what I'm supposed to say. How can I fucking break his heart like I knew it was going to happen. I knew I had to tell him soon so I guess tonight is the night. I feel like fucking bawling right now… I'm so scared…

**Later that Night**

I spent most of the day hanging out with Mickie and my sister, Ashley. We shopped practically all day and I was so proud of them… they were getting along. Now that Mickie was my best girl friend and I was so happy to see Ash warming up to her.

No, I didn't tell either John or Randy yet. I'm trying to work up the nerve because I decided to tell Randy first because he's going to get hurt, just like me. I just called him a few minutes ago to give him the heads up that I was coming so that's where I am at right now.

I don't think I can even knock on his door. Come on, Nicole. Knock on the door. My hand reached up and I rapped on the door. It flew open almost instantly.

He greeted me with a bright smile, "Hey Nick."

I smiled, trying to keep the act up. I was so tearing up inside and what was worse that his smile made me feel a little better. "Hey Rands."

He stepped aside so I went inside and sat on his messy bed; typical Randy. I have no fucking clue how I'm going to do this. How do you tell a guy that has been by your side through hell and back that you can't give him what he wants? Yeah, I don't have an answer for that one either. He sits beside me and looks at me.

"So what did you want to talk about? You sounded distant on the phone." He already knows what I am here for and I think he's trying to brace himself for it.

My mouth opens but no words came out. I already start to choke and I really can't do this. It's too painful; I can't handle it. I want to avoid hurting him as much as possible. "I can't . . . I can't do this . . ."

I was choking on my sobs and got up to try to leave. But Randy grabs my wrist and replies softly, "You have to Nick. Say whatever you came here to say."

He pulls me down softly and lets go of my wrist; my skin tingling from the contact of our skin. I'm such a coward and I know it. I just don't want to hurt Randy… my Randy. He's so important to me. Tears were spilling over the brim of my eyes. This is so unbelievably hard.

"Rands…" I start as he puts his hand over mine for comfort. "These past few years have been the best years of my life and I have you and John to thank for that. But I have you to thank most of all."

"Me?"

"Yes, you see, like I told John before we got together, for while I was treated like trash so I believed I was trash. You and John showed me different…" I paused for a moment, "So when I left John, all those feelings began to resurface again after it seemed like everyone abandoned me. I was literally going to just throw in the towel and just end it all."

I looked at him as I said this as I did the first time I revealed this secret to him the first time. I saw worry and concern but still no hint of shame in his eyes. I smiled lightly, humorlessly. "Rands, you were the one that pulled me out of that depression. You showed me how to love life again even after the death of my child… most importantly you gave me a reason to want to live. Never in a million years can I repay you for that."

He smiled lightly at me, "I saved you and you saved me… we'll just call it even."

"Ok" I smiled back but then turned serious. "That's why I fell in love with you. You were the only reason I wanted to live. You made me so happy and you dropped everything if I called you crying, saying I needed you… I love you so much, Randy. You don't even know… but sometimes love just isn't enough."

More hot tears spilled over. This next sentence was going to shatter him, "Rands… I chose John."

He closed his eyes to try to hide the pain. I didn't need to look at his eyes to know that he really was hurting. This image will forever be in my mind. I let go of his hand because I figured this was it. He didn't want to see me or touch me. I put my head in my hands and just cried. My heart was aching and I couldn't breathe. I really did this to him. I don't deserve to feel this way.

I start to get up to leave but then his arms wrapped around me. What the hell? He pulled me closer to him, trying to comfort me. I breathe in and just cling to him. He has an arm wrapped around my belly and h cradled my head against his chest with the other. He says soothingly, "Shh, Nick. Calm down. It's ok."

I don't care right now. I want this time with him. I'm going to miss him so much. I just cuddled to him as my heart feels better just because he tells me its going to be ok. As my sobs start to quiet, I whisper into his chest, "How… how can you comfort me, Rands?"

I feel his cheek pressed at the top of my head, like he was also clinging to me for dear life. I hear his heartbeat; its fast as mine as. I guess I do have the same effect on him as he does to me. He lets out a breath to say, "Because I always hate to see you cry."

I can't stand to see him hurting like I know he is right now. I just wish it didn't hurt as much as I know it does. I would do anything, absolutely anything, to make this less painful for him. I wrap my arms around him as he brings me into his lap. I just want to feel his presence one more time. This is going to be the last time and you know what? That sucks so much but it's the way it has to be. We are silent for what seems like forever, my sobs stopped awhile ago. We are lost in this moment. "Nick…"

I look up into his eyes; our faces inches away from each other. "What's umm… the hardest part about this for you?"

I look away, "No Rands… I can't tell you. It will only make the wounds deeper than they are already going to be."

We let go of each other as I get out of his lap and sit down beside him again. He puts his hand under my chin and turns my head gently so I can look at him. "I can handle it… I just want to know."

I debate this all in my head. I don't know why in the hell he wants to know. It's only going to make the pain that much more unbearable. But he asked me too. And right now, I will give him anything he wants.

"The hardest part is that I saw out life together…" I looked into his aqua colored blue eyes as they softened. "Everything, Rands—right down to the last detail. I saw what our wedding would have been like, all our friends and family surrounding us. And if by some miracle, I would have your kids and they would be running around everywhere because they would be just like their father… I even saw us growing old together and feeling the happiest I have ever been. I want that life so bad."

He put his hand on my cheek, "Thanks for telling me, Nick. I just needed to know that you really did love me."

"Of course I do…" I look into his eyes, "I'm so sorry Rands."

"Listen, Nick. I don't want you to be sorry… I just want you to be happy. That's all I have ever wanted." He takes his hand away, "At least we can still be friends."

I look deep into his eyes, "Rands, how can we be friends when we know we love each other like this?"

He doesn't look at me and I don't hear anything. "You know, we can't be. We'll always have that temptation and it will ruin your chances of ever finding any happiness with anyone. I can't give you what you want and I can't have both… it's just better if we are not friends anymore."

He's silent. My heart is aching with need for him. Tears are pouring down my face and I can't stand it. I reach out to him, "Rands…"

He immediately moves out of my reach. I think he has finally realized that this is really it. We can never hang out not even speak to each other anymore after this. And it hurts… so much. "I think… it's best if you go now, Nicole."

Ok that stung. He hasn't called me my real name since I don't even know. I feel more tears coming, "Rands…"

He shakes his head at me, still not looking at me, "Nick, please… I just can't do this right now…"

His voice cracks and I know there are tears in his eyes. I know it's hard and I don't blame him for wanting me to leave. I will do whatever he asks. I walk up to the door and turn around to see him still not looking at me. "Goodbye. Rands."

And before he can say anything, I leave the room. My heart feels like it has been stomped on. I know John's room is on this floor. What room was it? 214? 213? Then I realize it was 221. I search for the number, tears blurring my vision. It's well passed eleven so everyone is in their rooms. I find the door and knock quietly.

After a few minutes, John answers, surprised. "Oh hey, Shorty, I wasn't expecting… what's wrong?"

"Can I come in first?" my voice sounds dead, emotionless.

He ushers me in and once the door shuts, I say, "I was just over at Randy's. I had to tell him that… that I chose you, John."

This should have been great news to him and I know it's a big relief for him. But he knew, I was in pain. That's all he could think about. I just broke down as John hurriedly scooped me up in his arms. I bawled like a baby because the I felt numb.

John carried me over to his bed and pulled the covers. He laid us down under them, but my arms never left his. I was clinging to him. I cried into his shirt, soaking it completely. This numbness feels like it's never going to go away. That this is never going to get better.

I can't breathe as I cuddle closer to John. He cradles me in his arms and rubs my back soothingly. I'm trying to stifle my tears because I know its hurting him to see me cry over another guy. But I axt selfishly, and need him to stay with me.

All night I stayed in John's arms and waited for exhaustion to take over.

**A Month Later**

Wow, it has been really a whole month. Well ever since that night, time doesn't seem to matter I guess. That's both a good and a bad thing. The good thing is that I finally have John all to myself. And I feel for the first time, complete. He's the only guy that can ever make me feel this way. So this month has been perfect.

Well almost perfect. I miss Randy… a lot. I know what you are thinking—it was my decision for us not to be friends anymore. Well I didn't really think that one through. But I think part of it was because it ended so bitterly. His friendship meant a lot to me.

I know how he felt though. Every time I walk by him or even see him at all, all I want to do is run up to him and throw my arms around him. Just like I always have before.

I do still love Randy, I always will. I just miss everything about him. I miss the way he would call ne whenever he was on the road just to check on me. He knew what I was going through back then. I miss the way he would fly 2,000 miles across the country if I called him and said I needed him. I miss his laugh; making his pretty blue eyes sparkle.

Hell I even miss his voice. But most of all, I miss the friendship. It was so comfortable and easy as breathing. I could be my complete self around him. But if this was the way he wanted the 3 year friendship to end, so be it. I won't ever hurt him like that again.

So this was a Monday like any other. Raw had drawn to a close so I was packing up. The women's locker room was empty from all the divas already gone. John was already outside waiting for me. I hurried out of the room. I was still thinking about everything, trying to get it all out before I would see John again.

Tears were escaping from my eyes and I can't stop them. I stop and look into my bag for tissues. I luckily found some. I hear footsteps approaching me so on instinct, I look up to see who it was/I suddenly wish I hadn't.

It's Randy, dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants. He's not looking at me just the ground. But then I see his blue eyes flicker up to look in mine. I forget that my face is tearstained. This is the first time that he has really looked at me. His eyes seem restless and tired and I feel damn guilty. He holds my gaze, walks by, and then gives me a hint of a smile and nods. Doesn't say anything, just nods.

As I watch him walk away, I smile. Because with that nod, he told me what I wanted to know. The nod meant 'stop worrying. I will be fine.' I hurry and wipe my tears away and I hurry to go find John. Now, I think I can make it on my own. I hurry out the door to go to my boyfriends.

**One Week Later**

"Hey Nicole, are you ready for tonight?" Mickie asked me while she was putting the finishing touches on her makeup.

I shrugged, "What the hell should I be ready for?" everyone had been acting weird lately. Mickie and Ashley have been extra smiley to me lately and it's creepy. Even John has been like that too. He's real quiet but still smiling usually at me but for no reason.

"This is going to be so exciting!" my sister squealed.

"We're eating at a restaurant… I would hardly call that exciting." I was all ready. I was wearing a black mini dress that was off one shoulder. My hair slightly curled with very light makeup.

The other two giggled at me but didn't say much else. I feel like I'm missing something. We took off down to the lobby and met up with the guys. John's face lit up when he saw me. That can never get old. John had on a white dress shirt and a good pair of jeans. I know, jeans! He took my outstretched hand as I pecked him on the lips. I smiled, "Do you have any idea what's going on?"

He smiled too, "I think I have one."

I eyed him suspiciously but dropped the subject. We all left to this very nice restaurant. The food was great of course and I had a great time with everyone. John's hand was still laced with mine all throughout dinner so I knew that he was nervous about something.

We exit the restaurant and I see it's close to sunset. Conveniently the restaurant overlooks the beach. I go to follow the rest of them but John pulls me toward the beach. "Come on, Shorty, I want to show you something."

I looked at him, puzzled, "Umm ok. I guess we'll catch up later then."

When John and I reached the beach, I took off my shoes so I could walk in the sand. We walked a ways in silence and I'm wondering what's going on. He stopped and I turned to face him. He looks out over the ocean for a moment. The sun had finally gone down and suddenly, lights were lit around us. I hear the song, 'All I Want' by Staind, begin to play. Wow, what's all this about?

"Shorty," I hear John say as I turn to look at him. "I know how selfish I have been for the past few months since you returned. Never would I have done that a couple of years ago. That relationship was absolutely perfect. So this past month we have gotten that magic back. We have a relationship that everyone is envious of. We were two broken people that fit together so perfectly. You are my other half, no doubt about that."

He couldn't be… no way. "JJ?"

He smiled nervously, "You are my best friend, my support system, but most importantly, you are my soulmate… I don't know what I was thinking these past few months because when I look at you now, all I ever wanted was you. And to make you mine forever."

Tears sprang to my eyes as he kneeled down in the sand. My heart is pounding and I feel lightheaded. Is this really happening? "Shorty, I want to spend the rest of my life with you and for all eternity." He pulled out a beautiful white gold, diamond ring. He slipped it onto my finger, "So Nicole Elizabeth Massaro, will you make me the happiest man alive and become Mrs. John Cena?"

I couldn't speak. I was all choked up with tears that were freefalling. John finally did it. He wanted me forever as I knew I wanted him forever. He slowly got up, still nervously waiting for my answer.

I jump into his arms and lay a passionate kiss on his lips. He pulls away and he smiles, "So is that a yes?"

I chuckled at him, "Yes, a million times yes!"

John grins at me and kisses me again. This is it, really. He's perfect for me and I love him for all that I have. And soon I will be able to call him my husband. It's just too good to be true!

**Next chapter: The wedding is on! Nicole finishes up with her plans with the help of Mickie and Ashley. A few weeks before the wedding, John goes to visit Orton. But why? Meanwhile, Nicole still misses Randy and worries about him. Will Randy got to her wedding and give her the much needed closure that she desperately needs? Stay tuned!**


	15. Saying Goodbye

**Thanks to .fan54, alethea293, BournePriceless54, CraftyTink529, foolishangel87, wwelover1995, beautifultragedyxxx, and xAttitudex for the reviews. Wow, you guys seriously rock… you know that right? Again my apologies for the wait on this. Between friends, work, and getting ready for college, it's been hard to get this out. But I think this chapter is worth the wait. Hope you all will like it.**

**And I was seriously thinking of making this a trilogy. Now it's no promises that will happen but it's on the verge of a maybe. Anyway enjoy and tell me what you think.**

**Chapter 15: **_Saying Goodbye_

"_I really shouldn't miss you… but I can't let you go."_

"_Nothing compares to you… I can't let you go."_

**3 Months Later**

"So all there is left now is where everyone is going to sit for the reception… so have you figured that out yet, Nikki?" My blonde sister asked. Mickie James was right beside her with a tablet, ready to write down the instructions. These two were both wedding crazy ever since I told them. You should have seen my sister's face when I told her. She started to cry. But immediately that night, both Ashley and Mickie started talk about it.

I was thankful that they have been there to help because both John and I agreed that we wanted to get married as soon as possible. So with a little luck and pulling some strings, we were able to pull together a wedding 2 months from then. So actually my wedding is NEXT WEEK!!!! I know! I've been hyperventilating ever since just thinking about it.

"Nicole!" Mickie yelled.

I shook my head, "Huh? What?"

Ashley looked at me, "I was asking about the seating arrangements for the reception. Does it really matter?"

I thought for a minute, "It doesn't really. Just the seating at the bride/groom table is relevant."

"Oh yeah… so Mickie, write this down. It goes from left to right: Candice, you, me, Nicole, John, Matt, Dan, and Jeff."

Mickie scribbled it down quickly. "Ok we are good to go. All we really have left to do is pick up the wedding dress and the bridesmaids dresses."

I smiled, "Perfect, but when are we going to do that?"

"They called and said the dresses were in so we can actually pick them up today."

"Today sounds good." The oldest Massaro said while I nodded along with her. So we got all of our things together and we were off to get the dresses.

**With John; Third Person POV**

John was feeling kind of weird and awkward right now. He knew he had to do this though. He better get it over and done with as quickly as possible. He knew deep down that Nicole wanted this most of all for a wedding gift. He loved her with all his heart and what he was about to do certainly proved that. He wanted her to be truly happy and that's why he was knocking on Randy Orton's door right now.

He answered almost immediately. He looked surprised to see the Chain Gang soldier but that look almost instantly turned into a glare. "Yeah, what do you want?"

John glared back but then heard that voice in the back of his head, reminding him why he was there. "I need to talk to you… so do you got a minute?"

"Not really. I really don't have a minute to spare for you."

"Look, let's be adults here. Just give me five minutes and then I'm gone… believe me, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't important."

The Legend Killer thought for a minute but then finally nodded and walked back into the room. John followed him and sat down on a chair closest to the door. "I'll make this quick. I suppose you heard about Nicole and I getting married?"

He just glared, "Yeah, who hasn't?"

John just couldn't help but feel angry. Nicole, this was for Nicole. "Well… I think you should come."

Randy waited for a minute but then finally said, "That's it? That's why you came?" When John nodded, he said, "You could have just sent me an invitation. Then you wouldn't have to have gone through this trouble of coming here. What in the fuck makes you think I would go? And for whatever reason?"

John waited for the Legend Killer to calm down before saying, "Because it would mean the world to Nicole."

He saw just by the sound of her name calmed the angered man instantly. John could never understand their relationship, nor did he care to. Randy looked up, "Nicole? What does this got to do with her?"

John rubbed his face. He looked at the other dark haired man, "No matter how much I hate it… she misses you. I know she's happy but not truly."

He gazed at John but the back to the floor, "How do you know? I mean, has she said anything?"

"Well no…" He then looked at the Chain Gang soldier, "But she wouldn't in fear of hurting me. But she doesn't need to say it. I notice that sometimes her smiles don't quite reach her eyes. Or how she has nightmares where she calls out for you, like you're in trouble or something…"

Randy took it all in. Nicole was being just who he thought she would be. She still worried for him and somehow that made him feel better, way better than he had been in the past few months. John continued, "I know it has been decided that you two shouldn't be friends anymore but I saw the way you left things… what she needs most of all is closure…"

Randy looked at the other man, puzzled, "… why are you doing this? I mean, it's got to make you pissed that she still thinks about me."

John shifted his gaze to something else in the room. Of course it made him pissed off. He wished sometimes that she had never met the Legend Killer. "Yeah but it doesn't matter. You two were close and even though I hate to admit it, she loves you… still. And I thought I could hate you for that… but I'm grateful. You've helped her in ways that I could never imagine. So I can never hate you because of all the things you have done for her… she misses you, Orton."

"… I'll think about it."

"I mean you don't even have to come to the wedding. Just to the reception so she could at least talk to you would be fine—"

"Cena… I said I'll think about it." Randy assured him and John took this as his cue to leave.

He got up and left the awkward situation behind. He was glad that was over and satisfied knowing that he tried.

**5 Days Later; 2 days until the Wedding**

I'm so nervous and excited at the same time. The wedding is only two days away. Right now, I'm laying in John's arms, our fingers distractedly playing with the other's fingers. My head was on his bare chest and this just felt so perfect. This was really our last night as boyfriend and girlfriend.

"What are you thinking about?" John asked. It was 2 in the morning and no way was I tired.

I smiled to myself, rolling off his chest and looking into his eyes, "Nothing really… just excited you know? Because finally, after all this time, we're going to be husband and wife. And finally live the life that we deserve."

That brought a huge smile to my fiancé's face as it did to mine just thinking about it. My fingers laced with his as they between us. "I know… I just can't believe it either, you know? After everything that has happened since we have been reunited, I never thought that I would finally have you in my arms."

He played with my hair, "I think marrying would be the best decision that I could ever make."

I literally lit up inside. John always knew just what to say to make me so happy. Butterflies went off in my stomach as I looked deep into his eyes. I know I made the right decision. Yeah, I miss Randy. But I just know that John has always been the one for me. "Same here, JJ."

I gave him a peck on the lips and cuddled closer to him. I let the pounding of his heart be the thing that made me fall asleep. I sighed contentedly before slipping into a deep slumber.

**2 Days Later; the Big Day**

"_What's going on?" I ask suddenly. I look around and I'm in a church that is decorated to perfection with all the flowers and aisle. But everything is kind of blurry. I look to my right and see my sister, looking back at me._

_She has on a lavender gown that is strapless and looks amazing on her. It's my bridesmaid dress. "You're at your wedding, duh! Get it together, Nikki."_

_I look down and do see that I am wearing my beautiful wedding gown. I must have skipped everything that happened that morning. My father appeared beside me and took my arm. We went after my sister went. A huge smile was plastered on my face. I looked at the end of the aisle, seeing John waiting. He was smiling that dimpled grin that made my heart flutter._

_I was so excited that he was finally going to be mine. I looked to where the groomsmen were standing. There was only one guy that seemed out of place and he was standing in the oddest of places for a wedding. He had on a t-shirt and jeans. But then I noticed the all too familiar tattoos._

"_Randy?!" Could it really be… yes it was him! It's really my Randy. I completely forgot what was going on and I leave my father's arm to run to greet him. But as I finally look into his eyes, I immediately halt. They are so full of pain and pure agony. My heart ached fully to seeing him in so much pain. He was in pain, "Randy…?"_

_All around me, everything went black; the guests disappeared, my father disappeared, even John disappeared. It was only Randy and I._

"_How could you do this, Nicole?" Randy spoke. His voice laced with hurt and confusion. "You promised me that you would never leave me and that you would never give up on me. Why????"_

_Tears instantly came to my eyes, "I never did give up on you."_

"_You said you loved me and nothing could ever tear us apart, even though everyone always tried. You promised that you were always going to be there for me. It was us against the world, remember?"_

"_Yeah… I remember." My voice cracked as fresh hot tears cascaded down my cheeks._

"_What happened? What did I ever do to make you hate me?" Randy's voice was so full of pain that my heart felt like it has just been stabbed thirty times._

_I shook my head, "I don't hate you, Rands. I never could."_

"_Maybe I should just go back to the way I was before I met you. Maybe when I'm shit faced drunk or really fucking high; I won't remember you or this pain…"_

_Fear struck me instantly, "No Rands please… don't. You'll be so screwed up… or maybe even killed."_

_He just shrugged his shoulders, looking into my eyes, "It won't make a difference. And why should you care anyway? You don't love or need me anymore. You are so fucking happy that I don't fit into your perfect life…" His face scrunched up with pain, "I won't have you with me anymore… maybe being dead won't be so bad…"_

_Then he started to walk away. His figure was slowly fading into the darkness. My heart hurt and tears were pouring down my face. I started running towards him, screaming, "Come back, Randy. Please don't do this." I ran as fast as I could but it was no use. No matter how hard I ran, I couldn't catch him. So all I could do was scream desperately towards him…_

"RANDY!!!!" I screamed as I opened my eyes. My eyes darted, searching for the Legend Killer. It was just a dream; a horrible dream.

My face was stained from real tears that I must have cried. Great, on the biggest day of my life, I have just the worst nightmare ever. I ran a hand through my long brunette hair.

"Hey Nikki, is everything alright in here?" I turn to see my sister, poking her head through my bedroom door. "I thought I heard screaming."

I know she sees my tears. I hurried to wipe them away. "Yeah… I'm fine, Ash."

She closed the door behind her and sat at the foot of my bed. I knew she didn't buy it. "Really, Nikki… what's wrong?"

I tried to shrug it off, "I just had a bad dream is all… I'm fine really."

She looked at me, sympathetically, "Was it about Randy again?"

I didn't meet my sister's gaze. I felt guilty that I still think about him, especially the day of my own wedding. She grabbed my hand comfortingly, "Nikki, he's ok."

I looked at her, "You don't know that for sure…"

Ash studied me and I knew what she was thinking. "Ash, I do still love Randy but more in a friend kind of way. I know who I can't live without… I just still worry. The way we left things… I don't know for sure if he's going to be alright."

"I know you still worry about him… we all are a little but I heard he's doing fine and I have told you that, Nikki." She puts a hand on my shoulder, "And today is your wedding. So for right now, try to put this all behind you and think of your future husband."

I smiled, "You're right, Ash."

"I know I am." She smiled back, "Well hurry up and get a shower. We need to be at the salon in an hour."

"Right." I hurried to get my shower to try to calm my nerves. Just do what Ashley says and put it all behind me for at least today. This was John's day to be with his newlywed wife…

**At the Church**

In ten minutes, I'm going to be walking down that freaking aisle. I'm so nervous that I'm almost nauseated. I'm finally going to live the life that I have always wanted to live. My dress is beautiful. But best of all, John Cena is going to be all mine; no one else can ever have him.

Everything is simply perfect, if that were ever possible. After a hug from my sobbing mother, I walked out to stand behind the maid of honor aka my sister. I look to see my father in his tux. While the bridesmaids walked out, my father beamed at me and said, "I'm so proud of you, baby girl."

I smiled, nervously and started to get teary eyed. "Thanks Dad."

I hugged him but held the bouquet of white and red roses in my hand. We started down the aisle as I kept my gaze off John. I wanted to save the best for last. Just about every WWE superstar attended my special day and that made me giddy inside. Everyone knew this was the best day of my life. I finally looked at my future husband. His face will be forever imprinted on my mind. His eyes were the color of crystal and they looked like they were glowing with happiness. His smile was so big, showing off those infamous cute dimples of his. And this was all because of me. I wanted to run out of my father's arms and kiss him but of course I didn't.

When my father and I got to the end of the aisle, he lifted the veil and gave me a hug. John eagerly shot his hand out and I took it just as eagerly. We recited the traditional vows but decided to change 'til death do we part' to 'love each other for all eternity'. I was so positively happy. When the minister asked him, John confidently stated, "I do."

I did the same, staring deep into those beautiful blue eyes of his. "I do."

"So in the eyes of God and everyone else who are present today, I now pronounce you, Mr. and Mrs. John Cena… Mr. Cena you may now kiss your bride."

We locked eyes as we exchanged the sweetest kiss that we ever shared. My eyes never left his as we pulled away. I smiled; I was so happy. I laced my fingers with his and we walked down the aisle. My sister was crying happily as my mom and John's mom did as well. My eyes quickly searched the guests to see if I would set my eyes on a pair of aqua colored ones but of course didn't.

I wished he could have been here. But I knew it would be too painful for him. I didn't expect him too anyways. I felt the squeeze of my husband's hand… MY HUSBAND! It feels great to call John that.

We walked out so everyone could congratulate us. My hand never left John's as we gave everyone a hug. As soon as they were all gone to the reception, John kissed me quickly.

"I love you," Then he whispered in my ear, "Mrs. Cena."

I shivered at the name, "I could really get used to that."

We got in our car and got over to the reception. We shared our first dance to 'Amazed' by Lonestar. We cut the wedding cake. Everything was going smoothly. My sister was crying just about the whole time and I laughed and hugged her every time. Everything seemed so perfect… that nothing could go wrong.

'Keep Holding On' by Avril Lavigne came on. John took my hand and we started to dance. "You know what?"

"What?" I asked him, smiling. I just couldn't stop smiling the whole evening.

"This is the first song that we ever danced to."

Yeah, I remembered. I always tried to forget that night except that was the first time John held me in his arms. I always knew from then on that he would always have a place in my heart. "Yeah, I remember that… I think I even loved you then."

He flashed me his dimpled smile, "I know I loved you then." Then John looked past me and stopped dancing. Then talking behind me, he said, "I didn't think you were going to come."

"I just knew I had to." said an all too familiar deep voice that I have missed so much. There was just no way. I whipped around and really saw Randy, in a white button down dress shirt with black dress pants. He was really here.

He smiled at me; my heart literally stopped. I squealed, surprised, "Randy!" I just couldn't help myself. I flung myself into his arms. "I can't believe it's really you."

John left us, saying he had to go talk to hi mom. He was really giving me the best gift he ever could; letting me have some time with Randy.

I started to tear up as I looked up into his eyes. We still weren't moving as we had our arms wrapped around each other. "I was sure you wouldn't have come… I'm so happy you're here, Rands."

I knew this must have been painful for him but he did a good job not showing an ounce of emotion on his face. He just looked so happy to see me. "Hey now, it's your wedding, Nick. Don't cry… that's other people's jobs to cry at weddings."

He wiped the tears off my cheeks, "I'm sorry… It's just, now my wedding is perfect… you're here."

He looked away for a second but then looked right back into my eyes. He took my hand and put the other on my waist. We started to dance to the music. "I honestly wasn't going to come… but I'm glad that John convinced me… I never would have wanted to miss this image. You look absolutely breathtakingly beautiful, Nick."

I blushed a little, "Thank you, Rands… but what do you mean John convinced you to come?"

He smiled at me, "He came to my hotel room about a week before the wedding. He told me that no matter how much you denied it, you needed me and still worried for me. You needed to talk to me." Randy looked over at John for a second then back at me, "He's a good guy for you, Nick."

I nodded, "I know."

Another song began to play. It was 'Never Be the Same' by RED. I looked up into his eyes as he looked down into mine. "I'm really, really glad I came. I want this to my last image of you."

I smiled, "I want to remember you like this too."

He smiled back but didn't say anything at first. I was enjoying this moment with him, listening to the song. I just wish this didn't have to be the last time. "There's so much I want to say to you, Rands."

"Sometimes it's better to leave some things unsaid." He told me.

I nodded, trying hard to keep my tears back. "So how have you been?"

He smiled and shook his head playfully. He knew what I was trying to get at. "Nick, you need to stop worrying about me. I mean I am a grown man… the Legend Killer of the WWE."

I smiled back lightly. It was getting harder and harder to keep my tears back, "I know… but like I have said a thousand times before, a 3 year habit is hard to break."

He nodded, knowing what I meant. "But I am fine and I will be alright… promise."

I looked deep into his eyes, "You know, I look back now and even though it hurts right now, I would have never made it without you. In those years without John, you were my only reason of getting out of bed each morning."

I realized this is one of the things I shouldn't have told him. He grimaced slightly but then he smiled. The song changed again, 'Broken Bones' by Rev Theory. "Do you think I can have one more dance with the bride?"

"You can have as many as you want, Rands."

"I think one more is more than enough. This is your wedding… I can't hog all the bride's time."

The truth is, I never did want to stop dancing with him because I know he was leaving right after. I just kept staring at him; so many things running through my mind. I mean, what can you say?

Randy broke the silence, "So you know, Samantha has been calling me."

"Really? What does she want?"

He looked into my eyes, "She wants to get back together… and I said I'd think about it."

Honestly, it was hard and it kind of stung. But he had to move on. But who was going to help Randy now that I wasn't going to be there? "I think you should give it another try, Rands. It's not like you'll have me in the way anymore."

"That was the only condition she had. I'm not allowed to see or speak to you ever again."

I could feel the tears coming, "Then you'll have no problems with her then." I couldn't keep them back anymore. I turned away from his face and felt hot tears fall down my cheeks.

"Nick…" He put his hand under my chin and turned my head to look at him. "What's wrong? Are you ok?"

I shook my head, "Why does this have to be so hard? It's just hard to say goodbye to you, Rands."

He wiped a stray tear from my eye. "Nick, this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. I honestly would rather not do this whole righteous thing and just stick by your side, no matter what the cost. Because I know right now, you're hurting. And I hate that I'm the reason."

He smiled lightly, looking at me, "But I realize that it just can't work that way. I finally realized that now. You're happy and that makes it better. And I know for sure that he will make you happy. I would put up a fight if it was any different…" I stare up at him; my heart was heavy. "But that's all I have ever wanted. Just to see you happy."

More tears fell from my eyes, "Rands… just never think you weren't good enough. And I will always love you and I'll never forget you."

He smiles at me but his eyes were filled with hurt. He's finally letting his real emotions out. My eyes match his. I know this is goodbye; I just can't fucking stand it. "Can you promise me something?"

He nodded, "Sure. Name it."

I looked down but then back at him. "Never go back to the way your life was before you met me. I just couldn't sleep at night, wondering…"

He chuckled, nervously. "I promise, Nick." Then he put his palm on my cheek, "I'm going to miss you, way more then I should."

I put my hand over his hand that was placed on my cheek. "I think you have that backwards."

He smiled, "And remember I'll always be there for you, even if not physically. You would know what I would say because you already know me better than anyone else."

I smiled lightly, while tears were still running down my face. "I'll always be there for you too."

The song was ending. Randy and I stopped dancing. He took my hands in his and asked, "Now can you promise me something?"

"Anything…" my voice cracked a little. I was trying to get this image forever imprinted in my mind. I never wanted to forget this.

He tried to smile, "Will you promise that you will enjoy life? You'll be the happiest you have ever been and live your life to the fullest? Never thinking of ending your life again?"

He knows I will promise him. I'd do anything for him, "I promise."

This was it. I threw my arms around him for a desperate hug as he did the same exact thing. I would always remember the way he felt in my arms. We let go and looked into each other's eyes. He whispered, "Goodbye, beautiful."

That made more tears fall, "Goodbye, handsome." He flashed me another smile before he finally walked away from me. It was heartbreaking watching him leave and took every ounce of restraint to not chase after him but I didn't.

My heart aches but I felt better this time. Because he promised me he would take care of himself and I'm taking his word for it. He's stronger than he knows.

I wipe my tears quickly. This wasn't cry over Randy day; today was all about John and how today was was the first day of our life together. I search for him and spot him talking to his brother Dan. I walk up and smile.

He smiles back, "Hey Shorty."

"Hey… umm Dan, if you don't mind, I think John deserves a turn on the dance floor with his wife."

Dan held up his hands, "He's all yours… but I get a dance later."

I laughed, "Of course you will."

I led John to the middle of the dance floor. I looked happily into his eyes as he smiled at me. As he's standing there, I know in my heart, I made the right decision. He completes me. He is my true love; my soul mate. And like Dave said, Randy is the love of my life. But I truly believe 2 years back, if Randy would have chosen me over Sam, we would have gotten together. He would have made me so happy and I know that I would have been so happy and in love with him, I never would have fallen back in love with John.

But I guess fate is funny that way. I put my head on his shoulder as we danced. "Thank you, JJ. You truly the most wonderful guy I have ever met."

I looked into his eyes as he smiled, "I'm not stupid… so what's going on? Are you two friends or…?"

I shook my head, "No, it's better if we aren't." When John looked me over, I said, "I'm ok, really JJ. I just needed him to tell me that he was going to be alright. And he promised me that he would take care of himself."

I stared deep into my newly wedded husband's eyes, "But enough about him. This is our time."

He smiled, "Hell yeah, I can't wait for tonight!"

I rolled my eyes playfully, "Just like you… always thinking about sex." But then I wrapped my arms around his neck and planted a passionate kiss on his lips. He put his hands on my head, kissing eagerly back.

I pull away and see this goofy grin on his face. "I love you, JJ. More than you could ever imagine."

"I love you too, Shorty. Always have, always will." I smiled and sighed contentedly in his arms. This is where I belong…

**The next chapter is the last chapter of Nothing Else Matters so no preview sorry. The two quotes I used at the beginning of the chapter was from the songs, 'My Life Would Suck Without You' by Kelly Clarkson and 'Never Be the Same' by RED.**


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